The Perks Of Being In A Family (Book 3 In Perks Of Being A Merc)
by RudeAndGinger413
Summary: A Marvel/Sony fic where you don't have to worry about Spideygate happening again. Based loosely on comics and movies. Avengers, X-Men, Deadpool, random other movie, TV, and book characters making cameos. Featuring original character written in related one-shots style. Book 3 out of 7. Don't forget to bring the chimichangas
1. Goodbye Yellow Brick Road

_A/N: Hey readers, this is book 3 in the Perks Of Being A Mercenary series. if you want to start at Book 1, go to my page._

**Goodbye Yellow Brick Road**

It was two days later when the world heard about the mysterious death of Ashley Sinclare LeRoux. There were, of course, no leads or suspects. It would later be determined a suicide, but none of the Avengers believed that.

"Morning."

Kitty looked up from her coffee and saw Logan walking into the kitchen. "Mornin'... You're here early." She said in shock as she brushed a wavy strand of hair behind her ear. Kitty wasn't even dressed yet, and was still clad in her Rob Zombie shirt and flannel pajama pants. She watched as Logan poured himself a cup of coffee and sat down next to her at the table.

"So did you see the news?" Logan asked casually.

"On what?" Kitty decided to play dumb, but she knew where this was going.

"LeRoux's body was found in France." Kitty stayed silent, so Logan continued. "They seem to think it was suicide."

"It wouldn't surprise me." Kitty said innocently, batting her eyelashes at Logan. "He was obviously mentally unstable, giving people tiaras and swords." He just stared at her until she gave a huff of annoyance. "He got what he deserved. Are you going to go tattle to the parents now?"

Logan smirked and shook his head. "No." They both drank their coffee in silence.

Bruce stumbled into the kitchen, looking bedraggled. His dark hair was sticking up on one side and flat on the other. Dark circles ran under his eyes and he looked exhausted.

"Rough night?" Kitty asked sympathetically as he poured himself some coffee. Steve walked into the room and immediately grabbed the paper from Kitty before sitting down.

"Yeah, I-" He turned and saw Logan at the table with her. "I'm sorry, did I miss when he became an Avenger?" Bruce asked Steve, waving his hand at Logan.

"Still not an Avenger." Logan smirked as one of the sections of the newspaper was passed to him. He opened it up, but Kitty knew he wasn't reading it.

"Then why are you here?" Bruce half-whined.

"He's allowed to be here." Steve said distractedly, still engrossed with the newspaper.

Logan looked up over the newspaper and smirked at Bruce, his face smug.


	2. I Hate Myself For Loving You

**I Hate Myself For Loving You**

Kitty Vics groaned loudly, trying to will her cell phone to silence. When the ringing continued, she reached over and unplugged it before raising it to her ear. "'Ello?" She asked, her voice sleepy and her eyes closed.

"Good morning! Is this," There was a pause on the other end of the line and she heard the sound of papers being shuffled around. "Kitty Vics?"

"Yea?"

"Hello, I'm Dan Coldi from Coldi and Brekers Law. How are you?"

"Unfortunately awake." Kitty said shortly, rubbing her eyes. She sat up, realizing she would not be permitted to continue her sleep.

"My apologies. I have time sensitive legal matters we need to get squared away. Are you going to attend Mr. Ashley LeRoux's funeral today?"

Kitty's eyes travelled to the outfit hanging innocently on her closet door. She had set it out two days ago, but hadn't made up her mind on whether she would go or not. "Yeah," She answered with a long, suffering sigh. "Yeah, I am."

"Great. That will make this go a lot smoother." He said. "I'll bring the documents to the service."

"Documents?" Kitty asked, her eyebrows laced together.

"It's standard procedure." The man assured her. "I will see you there, Ms. Vics."

Kitty heard the click of the line going dead and sat there in her bed for a minute, just staring at her phone's black screen. Eventually, she pried herself out of bed and took a very hot shower, trying to let the water calm herself down. She took extra time with her makeup and hair, thinking maybe if she looked her best, she would feel her best. Nothing worked and soon Kitty was pulling on her suit jacket over an eggplant colored blouse and black slacks. She stuck a black dahlia behind her ear with the rest of her hair flowing down her back. Before she could chicken out, Kitty shoved her phone into her jacket pocket and walked to the elevator and pressed the button leading to the kitchen.

Kitty wasn't expecting to see the Avengers and Logan standing in the living room, all in various funeral attire. Even Peter and Deadpool were there, giving the Avengers a rare look at Deadpool's scarred face. "You guys are going to the funeral?"

"We weren't going to make you go alone." Steve smiled softly.

Kitty pressed her lips together and felt her eyes tearing up. "Thank you so much." She hugged Steve and Tony, then Deadpool.

"We should probably get going, then." Natasha said, nodding to the door. Everyone filed out one by one, leaving Kitty and Logan alone.

Logan shrugged on his jacket as she walked up to him and smiled. "Nice suit." He had on a white dress shirt with the top two button undone and no tie. "But where's your noose?" Kitty asked, reaching up to fix the buttons.

"You're lucky I'm in the suit." The air felt charged with electricity as Logan looked down at her. He slowly moved his hand to her face, bringing her closer. Kitty's eyes fluttered shut and their lips had almost touched when Clint burst back into the room. Kitty and Logan jumped apart and tried their best to look nonchalant.

"Steve says we've got to get going." Clint told them, unaware of what had almost happened.

"Right. 'Course." Kitty said breathily. "I just had to grab something." She rushed back to her room and retrieved the sword Ashley had given her.

Ashley Sinclare LeRoux's funeral was small, especially for someone as wealthy as him. The only ones there other than the Avengers and Co. was a priest, a small dark haired woman crying, and a man in a business suit. Kitty listened to the priest talk about how precious life is and that we never realize how much we love someone until they're gone. The cold wind seemed to cut through her thin suit jacket, but Kitty wasn't shivering. She couldn't feel anything. Not sadness or anger or happiness. She just felt numb to everything.

Kitty removed her sunglasses, ignoring the burning in her eyes. The temporary pain was the least she could endure after what she'd done. Kitty stepped forward and gently placed the sword he gave her in the coffin, then pulled the dahlia out of her hair and set it on top. She slipped her glasses back on and watched as the coffin was lowered into the ground. And just like that, Ashley was dead and buried.

They were walking up the path to the church when the man in the suit approached the group. He was short and round with wire-framed glasses perched on his nose. His coal dark skin was clutching a brown suitcase and he was shaking slightly from the cold, despite wearing a thick wool coat. His eyes raked over the group and asked, "Ms. Vics?"

Kitty stepped forward. "Yeah?"

"Mr. Coldi," He offered her his free hand to shake. "We spoke on the phone."

Kitty nodded. "I remember."

"Excellent. I set up a room in the church, if you will follow me." Mr. Coldi waved his hand towards the small, white church on top of the hill.

Kitty turned back around to the group and said, "I'll be right back." She followed the lawyer up the hill and into the church. The room he led her to was small with only a long, dark wood table and chairs in it. She pulled up a chair and sat down across the man, folding her arms over her chest.

Mr. Coldi set down his briefcase on the table and unhooked the clasps before withdrawing several stacks of paper. He pushed his glasses up further on his wide nose and stared at Kitty. "This is the reading of Mr. Ashley Sinclare LeRoux's last Will and Testament." He recited officially. He looked back down at the stacks of papers laid out in front of him. "Ms. Vics...May I ask the nature of your relationship to Mr. LeRoux?"

"Professional." Kitty informed him. "I worked with him on several projects."

"Ahh." The lawyer looked unconvinced as he shuffled through some of the paperwork. "He left you quite a lot for just a professional relationship." Mr. Coldi paused and looked at her expectantly, but she just sat there with her arms crossed over her chest. "You see, Ms. Vics, most clients know exactly what they are receiving from the deceased...Were you aware that Mr. LeRoux-"

"Ashley." Kitty interrupted him, her eyes trained on the wood table. "His name is Ashley."

"Oh. Uh, yes. Very well." Mr. Coldi nodded. "Were you aware Ashley left you his entire estate?"

Kitty looked up at him, her mouth agape. "His what now?"

Mr. Coldi handed Kitty a stack of papers before explaining, "You are the sole beneficiary of his 7.9 million dollar life insurance. His three estates, one in Louisiana, one in Cazenac, France, and the other in Scarsdale upstate, will be transferred to your name. You own them as well as all of the possessions within them. He asks that you go through the estates before you sell them, particularly the Scarsdale mansion."

The lawyer looked up at her over his glasses. "He said there are certain items there you might find to be of interest. The taxes have already been taken out and he lined up two offers for the estates, should you wish to sell. He told me you would most likely take that route. The keys are labelled in the folder."

Kitty could just stare at the lawyer with her mouth open as he continued handing her papers in a folder.

"With his death, the sixty-one percent stock he owns in the company defaults to you, putting you on the board of directors. He recommends you sell it to the head chairman. He had me draw up all the documents, should you wish to perform these tasks." Mr. Coldi reached into his briefcase and withdrew a white, sealed envelope. "He also asked me personally to give this to you two weeks ago." He slid the envelope to her but Kitty just stared down at it. "Congratulations." Mr. Coldi stood up and smoothed his jacket. "You are now a very wealthy woman, Ms. Vics." He gathered his supplies and left Kitty sitting at the table in the church.

Kitty stared down at the envelope on the table for what seemed like an eternity. Finally, she picked it up and broke the seal before pulling out the letter. The black script was small and elegant and Kitty felt tears prickling at her eyes.

"_My Dearest Dahlia_," The letter started.

_"If Mr. Coldi has followed through on his promise and given this to you, it means I am dead. I hope that, out of all the people in this world, it was you who pulled the trigger. I am sorry and after everything I have done to you, you deserve your revenge and I deserve to die. I know it does not make up for anything, but I left you everything I have, save for my name. And I would have gladly given you that, if you had only said yes._

_I have the feeling you will sell everything off, not that I blame you. Please visit Scarsdale, though, for there are things there that could use your attention. I'm sure someone as beautiful as you will know how to tend to one of my most prized possessions. Mr. Coldi and my accountants will take care of everything for you to be comfortable._

_I know there's no good reason or excuse for what I have done to you, but please know that the moment we met, I fell in love with you. You clouded my mind and I couldn't breathe without thinking of you and if you felt this need as well, this longing connection to me. After the night we spent together, I thought about changing sides. For the first time in my life, I didn't want to be a villain if you wouldn't join me...And it terrified me. I had never even came close to loving someone like that before and hated the sensation so much that I sought to destroy it...I sought to destroy you. It was not fair to you or your family and for that, I am especially sorry. I hope you have a long, happy life._

_With everlasting love,_

_Ashley."_

By the time she had finished reading through the letter twice, Kitty was very glad she had wore waterproof mascara. She slowly folded the letter back up and shoved it in its envelope before gathering up the rest of the papers and folders. She pressed the folder to her chest and walked out of the room to see that everyone was in the church, waiting for her.

"What was that about?" Tony asked, nodding to the folder in Kitty's hand.

"Nothing." Kitty said softly. "Absolutely nothing."

The group went back to the Tower. Kitty noticed that her family were sneaking concerned looks at each other when they thought she couldn't see. Logan, Tony, and Steve were the worst. At some points, they didn't even try to conceal their glances. Kitty decided that she couldn't wait till later to start going through Ashley's Scarsdale estate for fear she wouldn't be able to. It was this thought that drove Kitty to sneak out of the Tower and take her motorcycle upstate.

She knew it was Ashley's estate from one look. The large manor was a Tudor-style home, complete with a stone turret that reminded Kitty of the princess towers in storybooks. She parked her bike on the cobblestone pavement near the line of shrubs and flowers. Pulling off her helmet, she shook out her long hair and looked up at the home. There were lamp-posts flickering on as the sun fell from the sky, casting the manor into a golden light, emphasizing its beauty and fantasy qualities.

Taking a deep breath, Kitty walked up to the house and withdrew the key that the lawyer gave her. The inside of the house was even more impressive than the outside. The high arches of the ceiling were adorned with chandeliers and stained glass windows with colorful mermaids set in. Oxford blue plush loveseats with gold thread sat pressed against a wall under a large oil painting.

Kitty walked through the entry room into the kitchen, which nearly took her breath away. As someone who loved cooking, seeing the double oven and marble island in the very spacious kitchen was mesmerizing. She continued until she found her intended destination:

The turret tower staircase. It was narrow, but still ostentatious, with more oil paintings and wall sconces with dim lights. Kitty's hand hovered over the door handle, her breathing heavier and her heart racing. She jerked open the door, but was not expecting what lay inside.

The round turret had three large panel windows on the left of the door with a steel grey, built-in window sofa. The windows looked over the yard behind the house, where there was a garden full of colorful flowers and marble statues. Mirrors in all different sizes with frames of all different shapes and colors lined the rest of the walls.

A large, eggplant colored grand piano sat opposite the door. When Kitty walked closer, she saw that there was a creme colored dahlia freshly painted on the top. A surge of anger and frustration coursed through Kitty and she felt the overwhelming urge to destroy her reflection in the mirrors.

Unable to stand it, she started punching and kicking the mirrors until they broke. It wasn't long until her motorcycle gloves tore away, leaving her pale skin exposed. Kitty wasn't paying attention to the pain of the sharps cutting into her hands and knuckles. Instead, she focused all of her energy on destroying the mirrors. Blood leaked from her hands and tears from her eyes as she tried to fight off the memories of Ashley. She saw his smile and anger and hate, pushing her further into her rage. Kitty remembered his mossy green eyes and the wolfish grin that his mouth seemed to be permanently frozen in. She remembered kissing him, the way his lips felt on hers, and it fueled her rage.

Eventually, when every mirror was shattered and broken, she allowed herself to slide to the ground and break down. She begrudgingly had to admit that she was actually attracted to Ashley. Not in the 'I want to spend the rest of my life with this man', but that she felt physically attracted to the asshole that tried to kill her multiple times. _Sounds about right, _she thought bitterly. _Always fall for the assholes._

Kitty laid her forehead on one of the broken mirror's frame and openly cried, pressing her palm to a piece of mirror still hanging on the wall. She heard a quiet sound coming from the open door and immediately stood up, her gun drawn.

Deadpool and Peter were in the doorway of the turret, their hands raised as Kitty held the gun pointed at them.

"Why'd you follow me?" Kitty asked, her voice wavering from her crying fit.

Deadpool nodded to Peter. "Baby-boy made me."

"We were worried about you after the funeral." Peter said quickly, his hands still raised.

Kitty put away her weapon and started clearing the tears from her face, trying to look like she hadn't been crying. Deadpool and Peter looked around the tower at the broken and bloody mirrors surrounding Kitty, littering the floor.

Peter cautiously noted, "It looks like we came at a bad time, though."

A very small woman with her dark hair pulled up into a bun hurried up the stairs, only to stop abruptly when she saw the outcome of Kitty's rage. Kitty recognized her as the older woman from Ashley's funeral. "Oh! Oh, my! You are hurt!" The woman's voice was heavily accented and Kitty came to the conclusion she was from South America, perhaps Ecuador. She hurried off and came back moments later with a small first aid kit. "I am Daniela, do not worry, I will clean that up." She nodded to the mirrors before pulling Kitty to sit on the couch. Using a cloth to clean up the blood from Kitty's knuckles, she inspected the cuts.

Kitty shook her head and said, "Leave it. It's not your mess, I'll get it later." She watched the woman clean her cuts before placing gauze pads over the wound.

Daniela smiled as she wrapped the dressings around each of Kitty's fingers individually. "You must be Ms. Vics. Mr. LeRoux told me all about you."

"He did?" Kitty asked quietly, her eyes flicking to Deadpool and Peter.

"Yes, yes." Daniela finished tending to Kitty's left hand before moving to her right. "He just went on and on." The woman looked up at Kitty and said, "I could fill a book!"

Kitty took a deep breath. "Are you his mother?"

Daniela laughed. "No, no, though, I might as well be." She chatted, wrapping up Kitty's knuckles. "Mr. LeRoux's mother died when he was four." She sighed sadly and shook her head. "I was his nanny then and now I am the housekeeper." She finished fixing Kitty up and put away the medical supplies. "There you go, all fixed."

Kitty stood up and crossed the room, lightly touching the grand piano.

"Every nice thing in the house, that was his favorite." She smiled at Deadpool and Peter as Kitty sat down on the bench. "Sometimes, he would stay awake all night and just play and play. I had to learn how to sleep through it, I swear, the boy never slept."

Kitty looked through the sheet music he had laid out before selecting one. She raised her hands and placed her gauze covered fingers on the keys. She cautiously pressed down on a key, as if afraid it would break under the pressure. When she was satisfied it wouldn't, Kitty looked up and started playing the song.

"_I've heard there was a secret chord, that David played and it pleased the Lord. But you don't really care for music, do you?_" Kitty's music and singing flowed through the turret, curling through the air. She ignored the pain in her hands and played Rufus Wainwright's 'Hallelujah' until the end.

"That was just so beautiful." Daniela said, dapping at her eyes with a tissue.

"I didn't know you played piano." Deadpool blurted out, watching Kitty as she picked out another piece.

"I didn't either." Kitty shook her head and played a soft melody. "I've actually never touched a piano before."

Peter walked over to the piano and looked at the complicated sheet music she was working off of. "Really? You've never played?"

"Yeah. I watched my father play sometimes, but I wasn't ever allowed to touch the piano, much less play it." Kitty told them, finishing off the lullaby. She turned around and asked, "Daniela, is there anythin' here you would like?"

"Excuse me?"

"Jewelry, clothing, furniture. Anything?" Kitty asked, guestering around. "If you want it, take it."

"Ms. Vics, I can't." Daniela shook her head, her eyes wide.

"You can call me Kitty." She told the woman. "And yes, you can. You can't tell me in a place this big, you've never had something catch your eye."

Daniela's thin eyebrows drew together and she said, "Maybe some of the silver-"

"Take all the silver. I'll help you box it up, if you'd like." Kitty offered eagerly. "If you need furniture moved or anything, we'll, uh," She had no idea who you called to move medieval furniture that probably cost more than her life. "We'll call a person. Send it wherever you'd like."

"So, he left you all of this?" Peter asked, looking out of the glass windows at the garden.

"I am not surprised," Daniela admitted. "They way he talked about you, I am not surprised."

"Wonder how much you'd get for a place like this." Deadpool commented.

"Doesn't matter." Kitty said shortly. "I'm not keeping the money. I'll give it to a shelter or foundation or something."

"Okay…" Peter nodded, still unsure.

"When do you want to do it?" Deadpool asked.

"I don't know, as soon as possible, I guess, but we've got to go through everything. Anything you guys want, you can have." Kitty told them. "We'll start tomorrow. It's late. I'll have to call a professional for the piano."

"I'm a professional." Deadpool said helpfully.

"I meant a professional piano mover, not a professional hit-" Kitty's eyes slid to Daniela. "Hypnotist. Hey, Daniela?"

"Yes, Ms. Vics?"

"Kitty." She corrected. She glanced at her phone and was shocked to find that it was rather late at night now. "Um, is there somewhere we could stay here?"

"Yes," Daneila nodded enthusiastically and Kitty had the impression that she didn't want to be alone in such a big house. "There are plenty of bonus rooms that you can be in."

"Great." Kitty smiled tightly before turning to face Deadpool and Peter. "Do you want to stay here?"

"Sure."

"Yeah, why not?" Deadpool shrugged. They walked down the tower steps and Deadpool paused at an oil painting on the wall. It was of a rocky ocean shore with a lighthouse. "Hey, can I have this?"

"Yeah, take whatever you want, Sarge."

"Oh, that is not the best of Mr. LeRoux's work." Daniela said dismissively as she continued leading everyone down to the foyet.

"He painted that?" Kitty asked.

"Yes, he painted all of these," Daniela motioned to all the artwork on the walls throughout the house. "He was really excellent at it."

"Yeah, he was." Kitty whispered.

"Here is one room for someone," Daniela showed them a very large, extravagant room decorated in rich reds and golds.

"Don't worry, he and I will share the bed." Deadpool nodded to Peter.

"Very well," Daniela said with no predjuidce. She watched them go into the room before her and Kitty walked away. "I have another spare room over here-"

"Actually, um," Kitty avoided meeting Daniela's eyes. "I was, uh, wondering if I could stay in Ashley's room."

Daniela smiled kindly and nodded. "Of course." She led Kitty down several hallways (Kitty was definitely going to get lost later) and finally stopped in front of a set of double doors with gold handles. "Here it is." She looked at Kitty with pity and sorrow. "I will let you be." Daniela turned to walk away, but paused. "He really loved you, you know."

Tears pricked at Kitty's eyes.

"I had never seen him so in love. He did not really love people," She sighed. "You could imagine how happy I was when he told me of you years ago. He says," Daniela smiled. "'I saw the most beautiful girl today, madre, and I purposely bumped into her to make conversation. And she told me that she would cut off a piece of me if I was not more careful. Madre, I think I'm in love.'" A tear escaped Daniela's eyes and she wiped it away with a tissue. "He did things I was not proud of, did not approve of, but I loved him as my own son. And now he is gone from me." She was full on crying now. "I am sorry, I did not mean to-"

"No, it's okay." Kitty assured her. "I understand and I'm sorry. God, I am so sorry."

"I will let you be now." Daniela practically ran to her own room so she could cry in private.

Daniela's fit left Kitty with a bad taste in her mouth. She stood at the entrance to Ashley's room for about an hour before she finally turned the door knob and opened the door.

She's not sure what she was expecting for Ashley's room, but this was exactly what she imagined. The room was the size of the Tower's living room, kitchen, AND Kitty's own floor plan put together and it was breathtakingly beautiful. The walls were painted a deep, rich blue and accented with dark wood pieces. A large four poster bed was in the middle of the room with a satin settee by the foot of the bed. A rather large painting was on a giant easel in the corner, surrounded by scrunched up tubes of oil paints and various paint brushes. The slight smell of turpentine burned Kitty's nose as she walked up to the painting to examine it. It was a mermaid in the ocean that looked suspiciously like Kitty, with similar hair and facial features. She was luring a man (obviously modelled after Ashley) out of a boat and into the water. Kitty could tell that in the piece, with its dark colors and harsh brush strokes, the man was about to fall to his death in his pursuit for a kiss from the mermaid.

"I'm sorry." Kitty whispered. She walked over to the bureau and found a clean white t-shirt to wear to bed. Kitty stripped off her clothes until she was just in her underwear and she pulled his shirt on. Almost like she was numb and in a trace, she climbed into his bed and hugged one of the pillows to her chest. And then she cried again.

Eventually, Kitty ran out of tears and fell asleep, still clutching the pillow that smelled of Ashley's cologne. She woke up long after the sun came up. "Ashley?" She murmured, her eyes still closed. "Ashley?" When he didn't respond, she opened her eyes and looked around. It took her a good minute or two for her to realize that Ashley wasn't there and wouldn't be coming.

They got to work almost immediately after breakfast. They (minus Daniela, who was looking for stuff for herself) meticulously combed through all of his stuff to find whatever they thought to be of interest.

"So, were you fucking him?" Deadpool asked in a gossipy tone as he put a few pairs of underwear into his take-home pile. Kitty silently took the underwear and put it in the get-rid-of pile.

"Wade!" Peter hissed.

"Come on! The guy gives her his mansions and everything in them?" Deadpool snorted and guestered to the pile in front of him. "That's pussy whipped."

"So it's true." Peter said quietly as he watched Kitty take a swig from a bottle of Jack.

"Is that why he blew us up?" Deadpool sounded incredulous. "A fucking couples spat?"

Kitty shook her head and took another sip.

"You slept with him AFTER the bomb?"

"Maybe a little." Kitty admitted sheepishly. She picked up a shirt and put it in her take-home pile.

"That's fucked up," Deadpool shook his head. "Even for you, Vics."

"In my defense," Kitty started, but she faltered. "Actually," She said slowly. "I don't have a defense. I don't know why I was with him."

"Why'd you kill him?" Deadpool asked as nicely as he could.

Kitty paused. "He knew things about me and about you guys that I was afraid he'd tell the world if our relationship ever went sour, which it was bound to do." She sighed. "So I took care of it before he could."

"What'd he know?" Peter wondered aloud.

"Too much." Kitty said in a way that obviously signalled the end of the conversation.

By the end of the week, Kitty had all of the stuff she was keeping in a storage locker upstate and she finally made her way back home. Peter must have told Tony though, because he was waiting for her when she got up to her room.

Kitty walked into her room and said, "Okay, I know you aren't on my couch with your shoes on."

Tony quietly removed his shoes.

"Thank you."

"Those are some nice bandages on your knuckles," Tony nodded to her cut up hands. When she didn't answer, he asked, "Are you going to have Banner look at whatever's wrong with them?"

"Wasn't plannin' on it."

"Can I look?"

Kitty plopped down beside him and warned, "You don't want to."

"I think I do."

She slowly and carefully unwrapped the bandages, which were still saturated with blood to the point that they were almost dripping. She had been picking at the scabs everytime she thought of Ashley...Which was often.

Tony sighed and visibly deflated. "Please tell me the other guy's face looks worse."

Kitty considered her answer carefully. "I can honestly say that what I punched is now broken."

Tony retrieved supplies to rebandage her knuckles and set them up on the coffee table. Kitty suddenly became overwhelmed at all of the events of the past week and broke down. Tony silently wrapped his arms around her so Kitty could press her face to his chest as she cried. He ran his hand over her hair and occasionally handed Kitty a tissue.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Kitty shook her head and continued crying.

"Do you want to talk to someone else about it?" Tony asked quietly. "I can get Steve-"

"No." Kitty sniffed and used a tissue to wipe some of the tears off her cheeks. "No, I just-" She pressed her lips together and looked up at him. "I just need my dad."

Tony kissed the top of her head.


	3. a squared plus b squared equals c square

**a2+b2=c2**

"Hey, Harrison." Kitty smiled and walked up to the red haired child sitting at the table. "Where's your momma?"

"Pepper went out." Bruce said distractively as he typed on his laptop.

"Uncle Tony sent her on something she said I couldn't repeat because it was naughty words."

Kitty laughed. "Well, where's Happy?"

"Dad went with mommy." Harrison sighed. "They told me to do my homework."

"And," Kitty pulled up a chair beside the child and put her elbows on the table and her head in her hands. "Are you?"

"I'm trying but it's hard!" He complained. "I don't understand it."

Bruce finally looked up from his laptop long enough to say, "Come on, we went over this, it's not that hard."

"Here," Kitty said quickly. "Lettme look at it." She glanced it over. "Okay so they want you to use the Pythagorean Theorem. Did they teach you that in class?"

Harrison thought hard for a second, then shook his head.

"Is that true or were you just not paying attention?" Kitty asked.

"Maybe the last one."

That prompted a thirty minute discussion on what the theorem was, who created it, and what it was used for. Bruce had completely stopped what he was doing and was just staring at her.

"How did you know all that?"

"I don't know." Kitty admitted with a shrug.


	4. The Piano Knows Something I Don't Know

**The Piano Knows Something I Don't Know**

The elevator dinged.

"Who is it?" Kitty called from the couch. She was laying upside down on the couch with her back on the couch cushion and her feet dangling over the back.

"It's me, Bruce. Uh, Bruce Banner"

"Oh, hey." Kitty folder the corner of the page she was on and set the book down before shifting. Now she was kneeling on the cushion so she could set her chin on the back of the couch and Kitty smiled. "What's up?"

"When did that get here?"

Kitty glanced over her shoulder at the piano and casually said, "Been here a bit."

He stepped further into her living room, his hands in his pockets. "Didn't know you played piano."

Kitty grinned cheekily. "Guess I learned."

Bruce nodded to it. "May I-"

"Yeah, go ahead."

Bruce pulled out the piano bench and started playing softly.

"Clair de Lune." Kitty smiled and walked over to the piano. She sat down next to him, noticing Bruce's sharp intake of breath. "Me," She gently picked up Bruce's hand and moved it further down the piano. "I'm more of a Tchaikovsky fan, myself."


	5. Time Magazine Photo Of The Year Goes To

**Time Magazine's Photo Of The Year Goes To...Peter Parker **

The photo was of Kitty, who was sewing up a bullet wound on her lower leg. She was sitting down in a pair of shorts, posed perfectly with her back arched as she dug the needle through her skin.


	6. Kitty, Interrupted

**Kitty, Interrupted**

Kitty wandered into the Tower and instantly, Tony knew there was something wrong. Her wavy hair was tangled up and her shirt had a hole ripped near the bottom. Her jeans were dirty and her boots were heavily scuffed. Small bruises and scrapes littered her arms, like she had very recently been in a fight. Kitty's eyes were glazed over and she seemed unable to walk straight.

"Kitty?"

Her head snapped in his direction and she stumbled slightly.

"Hey, hey!" Tony stepped forward to catch her and Kitty giggled.

"Je ne me sens pas bien." Kitty blinked slowly, then smiled. "Comment suis-je arrivé ici?"

"Are you speaking French?" Tony asked. He heard the ding of the elevator and saw Steve step into the living room. "I don't know what's wrong with her-"

"Vous! Vous menteur!" Kitty wormed her way out of Tony's arms and drew her gun. "Vous êtes un menteur, Jasper!" Tears flowed from her eyes and her hand was shaky. "Go away!"

"Woah, Kitty, stop!" Steve held up his hands as Kitty pointed the gun at him. She looked down at her arm and Tony quickly grabbed the gun from her.

Kitty shrieked and started to claw at her skin. "Get them off! Les obtenir, off! Off!"

"Get what? Kit?" Tony grabbed one arm as Steve took the other, trying to get her to stop tearing at her skin. "Steve," He gently pushed her face towards the blond. "Steve, look at her eyes." Her normally blue eyes appeared black as they wandered around the room. They were also bloodshot and glossy, unable to stay focused for longer than a few seconds.

"Kitty, listen to me," Steve bent down closer to her and asked, "Did you take anything?"

Kitty laughed and cheekily snapped her teeth at him.

"We need to call Banner. Hold her down." Tony rummaged through his pockets until he located his phone and dialed. "Banner? Something's wrong with Kitty...Deadpool, too? Yeah, her pupils are blown...Is Peter in danger, because Kitty just pulled a gun on Steve...Okay, we'll bring her down to the med bay, then send Steve to help with Deadpool...Shit, Logan, too? Yeah, we'll have to get him when we get Deadpool." Tony hung up the phone and turned to see that Kitty was on top of the refrigerator.

"J'aime vraiment Bucky et Logan." Kitty smiled and ran her hands through her hair. "Il est très joli et je trouve les griffes sexy."

"Kitty, you've been drugged." Tony said slowly. "We need to get you down to the med bay so Banner can help you."

"Bruce n'est pas si sexy." Kitty ran her tongue over her teeth and laughed. "Je ne sais pas pourquoi, je suis plus attiré par le gars rugueux."

"Kitty, get down from there!" Steve tried to reach for her, but she moved out of the way.

"I can't." She whispered, her eyes suddenly wide with fear. "The demons will get me."

"There's no demons." Tony insisted. "But we think you've been drugged with tainted LSD. We have to get you to the med bay so we can get Logan and Deadpool."

Steve grabbed her wrist and yanked Kitty down off the refrigerator.

"Les démons! Ils vont nous tuer tous!" Kitty screamed as Steve practically dragged her to the elevator. "Il est là pour moi! La mort vient pour moi!"

"Calm down, it'll be okay." The lift stopped and Steve scooped Kitty up and set her on one of beds in the med bay.

"La Mort sera là pour nous tous!" Kitty cried, her body shaking. "La Mort!"

A ringing sound came from Tony's pocket. "What do you mean you can't get near Logan or Deadpool? Well...We can't bring her with us, she's a mess! She's screaming about death and...Damn it. Okay." Tony hung up and looked up at Steve. "We have to bring her with us. No one can get near Logan or Deadpool. Whoever drugged them, drugged all three of our most unpredictable..."

Both turned and saw Kitty spinning around in a circle, her arms out as she sang, "Rhiannon rings like a bell through the night and wouldn't you love to love her? Takes to the sky like a bird in flight and who will be her lover?"

"Kitty?" Steve said slowly. She stopped singing and looked at him with a lopsided smile. "Do you want to go on a trip with us?" He gently took hold of her arm. "Let's go for a little trip."

Tony and Steve managed to get her down to the garage with minimal problems. They ushered her into the first car they saw, which happened to be a convertible.

Kitty threw her hands up over her head and closed her eyes. The wind tangled her hair and she heard men from various other cars yelling inappropriate comments at her.

"Get her down." Tony complained from the driver's seat. "Before she hurts herself."

"Kitty," Steve turned around and grabbed her hand. "Come sit down. Please."

She laughed as she plopped into the seat. Kitty set her chin on Steve's shoulder and watched the street. "Beaucoup de fois, j'aimerais avoir est mort il y a toutes ces années. Puis, j'ai rencontré cette famille. maintenant, je ne veux pas mourir."

"Any idea what she said?" Steve asked.

"Not in the slightest." Tony admitted as he pulled the car to the curb in front of Deadpool's apartment. "Okay," He turned to the two of them. "I have no idea what we're walking into."

"Ain't that the fun part?" Kitty laughed and licked her lips as she stretched.

"This is definitely not going to be fun." Steve shook his head as he unbuckled his belt and opened the car door.

Kitty stepped out of the car, still smiling and laughing.

"KIT!" Tony grabbed the back of Kitty's shirt and yanked her to him, out of the road. The car that had been zooming towards her honked loudly and continued its path. "Didn't you see that car?" He shook her shoulders. "You're going to get yourself killed."

Kitty's eyes wandered around, suddenly overwhelmed at the lights surrounding her. Tears pricked at her eyes and she felt nauseated. "The demons are here, Dionysus, they, they going to get to me." She pled. "We can't go-"

"Kit, you're drugged," Tony said softly, taking hold of her arm to steer her to the door. "Whatever you think is happening, isn't. But you're going to be fine."

"No, no, no, no, no." Kitty cried, trying to pull Tony back to the car. "We can't, we can't go in there, mort. Mort."

Various passersby were staring at her attempts to get away from the building.

"Is she okay?" A concerned woman asked.

"Yeah, she's fine." Steve said quickly. "She's drunk."

"La muerte, la muerte," Kitty reached for the woman, but Tony held her back. "La muerte está allí, que me ayude."

"Estás bein?" The woman asked, her eyes glaring at Tony as he grasped Kitty's arm. "Sabes esas personas?"

"Sí!" Kitty nodded enthusiastically. "Sí, esa es la razón por la que debemos mantenerlos seguros. La muerte es mirando para mí."

The woman's eyebrows drew together. "La muerte está buscando usted?"

"Sí, sí! La muerte! Él está tras de mí!" Kitty bit her lip and looked around suspiciously.

The woman put her hand on Kitty's shoulder and bent down to look her in the eyes. "Son estos hombres," She nodded to Tony and Steve, who looked both flustered and impatient. "La muerte?"

Kitty blinked rapidly and shook her head. "No. Por qué preguntar?"

The woman stood up and looked at Tony sympathetically. "Perhaps you should get her to a bed."

"Will do." Steve confirmed as they tried to lead an unwilling Kitty to the apartment complex.

They could hear the yelling from the lift.

"GET THE FUCK AWAY, DICKFACE!"

"Wade, please."

"FUCK OFF!"

"Deadpool! Logan! No!"

Steve and Tony (both half-carrying an unhappy Kitty) hurried to the apartment where they found Peter sitting in the hallway outside the open door. There were scratches on his arm and face, both healing fast. Yells and cursing could be heard from outside the apartment.

"Peter!" Tony yelled over the noise. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Peter nodded tiredly. He got to his feet and said, "I'm okay." He saw Kitty, who was concentrating on the wallpaper in the hall, and pointed at her. "Her, too?"

"Yeah, she's already attacked Steve." Tony said with the same amount of exhaustion.

"She attacked you?" Peter asked Steve.

"She keeps having hallucinations about her family. Her other family." Steve added. "It's not her fault."

Bruce stuck his head out into the hallway and asked, "You okay? OH good, you guys made it. How is she?"

As an answer, Tony just flinged his hand out in frustration towards Kitty, still preoccupied by the wallpaper.

"Hey, Kitten," Bruce tried to carefully walk towards Kitty, who smiled.

"Hola gilipollas." She said sweetly. She suddenly darted into the apartment, causing everyone to sigh and follow.

Logan immediately slashed at Steve, who backed up in time for it to miss him. He did, however, manage to impale Deadpool and slice Kitty's arm. She looked down at her now bleeding arm and her eyes narrowed in confusion. She collapsed cross-legged on the floor and began touching the wound, feeling the sticky blood on her fingertips. Kitty giggled and bit her lip as she focused on the blood bubbling from her arm.

"Dammit, Kit," Tony bent down and started putting pressure on the wound. He had to dodge her hand as she tried to touch his face with her bloody fingers. "Banner!"

"Little busy!" Bruce called from across the room, where he was trying to find a way to subdue Logan.

"Banner! I can't stop the bleeding!" Tony yelled as more and more blood poured from her wound. Kitty smiled as she managed to paint his neck with her blood, looking very pleased with herself.

"Preeeetty!" Kitty cooed at Tony.

Bruce turned around and saw Kitty laughing and playing with the grisly wound on her arm.

"Brucey!" Kitty's face lit up as the doctor tried to approach her. She pulled her arm away from Tony and bounced up to her feet. "Je veux juste que tu saches, je t'ai vraiment aimé." Her face fell and suddenly, she appeared very somber. "Mais tu me fais mal." Bruce tried to get close to her, but tears ran from her eyes as she yelled, "Tu me fais mal! Tu me fais mal!"

"Kitty," Bruce took a deep breath and said, "Please let me see your arm."

"No!" Kitty cried, running across the room to where Deadpool was. "El me hizo daño, Sarge."

"Vicky," Deadpool moved in front of her and faced Bruce. "Vicky, Estamos bajo ataque! Es Atlantic City otra vez!"

"No están tratando de lastimarnos." Kitty put her hand on Deadpool's arm. He whipped around and hit her in the face. She was only taken aback for a second before Kitty bashed his head on the wall. She ripped his arm out of its socket with a very audible POPswish.

Logan swiped at Kitty, who grabbed his wrist and twisted. Logan shoved her off and she landed on Steve. Kitty screamed and scrambled to get away from the blond. She backed up right into Logan, who pinned her arms behind her.

"Let me go!" Kitty hissed. She popped her shoulder out of place so she could escape his hold. Kitty then grabbed a knife and plunged it into Logan's forehead.

He fell to the floor and Kitty felt a pain in her head before she was knocked unconscious...

Kitty was awake, but she didn't open her eyes. Her head was fuzzy and she felt like the world was spinning too fast. Still, she kept her eyes shut so she could eavesdrop to figure out where she was.

"Normally, it only lasts eight to twelve hours. However, they would have to have been given ten times the lethal dose." _Voice #1 is Bruce. Got it._

"What's the probability of all three of our most unpredictable Avengers being drugged accidentally?" She recognized this as Steve.

Tony: "Deadpool thinks it was the bourbon from Weasel's. It's the only drink all three had."

Steve: "If it was ten times the lethal dose, how did it not kill her?"

Bruce: "I have absolutely no idea."

Tony: "Maybe the alcohol diluted it?"

"Fuck, you're resilient."

_Wait, that voice isn't familiar…_

"That's because we haven't met."

Kitty's eyes snapped open and she stared at the man in the med bay.

"No hello?" The man had a long, curly wine colored beard, matching his purple/red curly hair. His eyes were a soft brown but they were currently narrowed at her with annoyance. "My Gods, you mortals are bitchy."

"Who the hell-"

"I'm Dionysis." He said grandly as he leaned against the wall. "Nice to meet you."

"Dio-" Kitty's mouth dropped open as the man's hand was suddenly holding a cup of wine. "Dionysis? God of wine and madness?"

"And a couple other things." He said harshly. "I'm not an alcoholic, I'm a functional alcoholic. There is a difference."

"Why'd you dose me?" Kitty asked angrily.

"To see if you'd survive." He said in a way that was like, 'duh'.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Kitty demanded as she sat up in the bed. Her head was still pounding and her arm hurt for some reason and she was not feeling this dude.

"Um, excuuuse me for wanting to have a little fun!" Dionysis took a sip of his wine and smiled appreciatively.

"Fun?! You thought poisoning us was fun?!"

"Uh, yeah. It's always fun to pick on the cousins. Ciao, sweetie." And with that, Dionysis disappeared.


	7. Airplane!

**Airplane!**

Kitty was aware that she probably shouldn't be flying, but it was the quickest way. She sat down in the seats and took a deep breath as the plane took off down the runway.

Her ears started aching and Kitty grit her teeth in pain and pressed her hands to her ears. Her eyes screwed together and she felt lightheaded as the sharp sound grew. Someone tapped her shoulder and she looked over to see Logan's lips moving. She couldn't hear him, but could tell she was talking to her. "What?"

"Ma'am, are you alright?" A flight attendant saw her face screwed in pain and stopped by to help. She turned to Logan and asked, "Is she okay?"

Logan tried to explain by saying, "She has some hearing damage."

Kitty finally opened her eyes and pressed one of her hands to her forehead as the sharp sound dissipated slightly. Her eyes flicked to the two concerned people near her. "I'm alright." She tried to say, but she couldn't hear herself well enough to confirm it came out right.

"Ma'am," The flight attendant looked extremely worried. "I can call and see if there's a doctor on the plane-"

"No," Kitty shook her head, trying to make the ear pain and headache go away. "I'm fine."

(_Narrator: "She was not fine._")

"Kitty, you're bleeding." Logan touched her neck and showed her the blood leaking from her ear.

"It's okay." She insisted, using a tissue to wipe up the blood.

"Ma'am, its an airline policy, I have to call for a doctor." The woman explained as she moved to the front.

Kitty's ears felt like they were going to explode and the sharp ringing came again when the flight attendant used the speaker. It didn't take long until a man in a suit came into first class with a bag in his hands.

"You called for a doctor?" The man asked the flight attendant, who nodded.

"Yes, thank you," She led him to Kitty's seat. "Her ears are bleeding and she's in pain."

Logan unbuckled his belt and stood up so the doctor could see her. The man crouched down and looked up at Kitty. "Ma'am, can you hear me?" He asked in a very Southern voice.

Kitty's eyes were still closed and her hands over her ears. "I'm fine, really."

(_Narrator: "She was still most certainly not fine._")

"Kitty, just let him see your ears." Logan pled, watching Kitty with concern.

She pried her hands off her face to show the doctor her ears, which were slightly red and bloody.

"What caused the initial hearin' damage?" The doctor asked as he inspected her ears.

"I, uh," Kitty remembered the bomb and the pain she felt as she struggled to survive. "I was, uh, I was in an explosion."

The doctor looked up at her in surprise. "Well, I'm mighty sorry that happened to you." He went back to poking at her ear and asked, "How long ago was that?"

"About a month and a half ago." Logan answered, watching him clean up her ear.

"Well, sorry to be the bearer of bad news, sweetheart, but you shouldn't be flyin'." The doctor said sympathetically.

"Do we need to set the plane down?" The flight attendant asked him.

Kitty shook her head and pressed her hand to her temple. "I told y'all, I'll be fine."

(_Narrator: "'Fine' is a relative term. She classifies the word as her being alive, whereas most would define it as being alive AND uninjured in body and spirit. This being said, her 'fine' could very well be another man's worst nightmare.")_

"I don't think that'll be necessary." The doctor assured her. "But you shouldn't be flyin' for the next year or so, just to make sure your ears fully heal up."

"So, she's okay?" Logan confirmed.

"The pressure of the airplane probably messed with her eardrums." The doctor explained. "Are you hearin' me alright?" Kitty nodded, her head still throbbing. "She'll be fine, but like I said, you shouldn't be flyin', darlin'."

"We're not plannin' on being out long." Kitty's voice took on the Southern doctor's accent.

"Well, try to keep off the airplanes, sweetheart." The doctor said kindly before standing up and leaving.

"That was unnecessary." Kitty told Logan as he sat down in his seat.

"You were bleeding." He reminded her, nodding to her ears.

"Humans bleed." She rolled her eyes. "It's not a big deal." Kitty crossed her arms over her chest and stared at him, her bottom lip pouting.

"I see your accent has made another appearance." Logan commented with a smirk.

"Oh, shut up." Kitty hit his arm with a slight smile. "It's hard to be in the deep South without pickin' up my old accent. It'll go away when we fly back to New York."

"Didn't you hear the doctor?" Logan asked, nodding to the back of the plane. "You're not flying anywhere."

"It's, like, a three and a half hour flight." Kitty whined. "I'll be fine, it was just...Hard feelin' that again. Reminded me of Ashley's bomb." She took and deep breath and closed her eyes. _Reminded me of Ashley,_ she thought.


	8. Once Upon A Time In Louisiana

**Once Upon a Time In Louisiana**

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Logan asked Kitty for what seemed like the millionth time.

"You're the one who suggested it," Kitty looked at him over the top of her black sunglasses. "If you're backing out, so am I." She took a deep breath and whispered, "I can't go through this alone, Logan."

Logan cut off the engine of the rental car and opened his door. "Then let's go."

The house was large and old, with a well manicured front lawn and colorful flowers, despite it being late-January. Kitty paused at the sidewalk, looking up at her childhood house in mild horror and fear. Logan reached down and grabbed her hand, squeezing it gently. She snapped out of her daze and walked up to the front door hand-in-hand with Logan.

Kitty closed her eyes and took a deep breath as she reached up and pressed the doorbell. She could hear the chiming then the sound of shoes going down stairs, and braced herself to face her parents.

"Who are you?" A boy, around thirteen or fourteen, opened the door. He was definitely related to Kitty, with the same blue eyes, pale skin and hair.

"Ethan?" She asked, barely audible.

"What?"

Kitty stared at him in shock until Logan cleared his throat, reminding her on why she was there.

"Oh, uh, does, uh, does Annabell and Jasper de Vescot still live here?" She asked in a shaky voice, still staring at the teenager in disbelief.

"Uh, yeah. Hold on a sec." The teen said, turning back to look in the house. "Mom! Someone's here for you!"

Kitty looked at Logan, and mouthed, "Mom?" He squeezed her hand again. "Mom?"

A blonde woman joined the boy at the door, a scowl on her aged face. "We ain't interested in buyin' anythin'." She said in a thick, distinctive Southern accent.

"Momma?" Kitty said, her voice barely above a whisper. Her voice had already picked up on the Southern tint she had spent years masking and Kitty already felt disgusted at herself. "It's me, momma."

"Oh hell," Her mother cursed, crossing her arms over her overly tanned chest. "Go back inside, Jackson." She told the teenager, who sulked back into the house. "Figured you'd be 'round here eventually. Well, if you want money, you're barkin' up the wrong tree, Aurora."

"No," Kitty shook her head. "No, I-I don't want money."

"Then what is it you do want?" She asked harshly, putting her hands on her hips. Logan was starting to regret bringing her here as he watched the woman glare at Kitty.

"I wanted to see you, momma." Kitty sounded unsure as her mother rolled her eyes and turned to Logan.

"Who the hell are you?" Annabell asked him harshly. "Some sorta drug dealer?"

Logan glared at her and chided, "No. I'm her…" He paused, then decided on, "Name's Logan."

There was a tense moment of awkward silence before Kitty spoke. "Is he my brother?" She nodded her head at the house.

Her mother turned back around and yelled, "Jackson! Get back over here." The teen walked back to the door, and the mom waved a hand in Kitty's direction. "Come meet the girl who killed your brother."

"Momma!" Kitty cried, her voice wavering as tears pricked at her eyes. "It wasn't my fault, I tried to save him!"

"They should've beaten you to death. You're worthless, Aurora, you couldn't even watch your own brother without killin' him." Her mother spat.

Logan let go of Kitty's hand and metal claws slid out of his knuckles. Kitty's mother visibly blanched and stepped back, her eyes wide with fear and hate.

"Mutant! You're more of a disappointment than I'd thought, Aurora!" She screamed at Kitty, waving her arms. "Jackson, go call the police! Tell 'em these Mutants are threatenin' us!"

"No, Logan," Kitty shook her head sadly, putting her arm out to stop Logan from getting closer to her mother. She stared at her mother and sneered, "She's not worth the time it'd take to clean the blood off my boots." Kitty looked up at Logan with sad eyes. "Let's just go."

He reluctantly retracted his claws and put his arm around Kitty's back as they walked back to the rental car.

She climbed in the car and quickly wiped away a tear from her cheek, trying to hide the fact that she felt as though she'd be shot in the chest. Logan slid into the driver's seat and drove away from her childhood home. He snuck a look at Kitty, but she was staring determinedly out the window.

"Sorry." He apologized quietly.

"What are you sorry for?" She sniffled, trying not to cry. "It's not your fault my mother is a terrible person."

"I shouldn't have pushed for you to come see them." He pointed out, gripping the steering wheel tightly as they turned the corner. They passed a cop car and Kitty held her breath as it drove past, full lights and sirens on.

"I was going to end up here anyway." Kitty admitted, glancing at Logan before focusing her attention on her hands. "It's just been a matter of when. All this time, I've been second guessin' myself. What if they weren't as bad as I remembered? What if they've changed?" Her voice wavered. "They haven't. But I needed the closure." She drew her legs up so her feet were on the seat and her chin could rest on her knees. "Take me home, Logan."

"James."

Kitty turned her head and stared at him. "What?"

"James Howlett is my real name." He explained, resting one arm on the window sill. "Not Logan."

"Oh." She looked back out the window and whispered, "Katherine-Aurora de Vescot."

"Katherine-Aurora?" He laughed, glancing at her to see if she was serious. "Your first name is Katherine-Aurora?"

"Technically yes, James." She smiled as she drew out his name in a Southern accent. "Or do you prefer Jim?"

"Do I look like a Jim?" Logan asked, his face curling into a smirk.

"Jimmy?" Logan shook his head vehemently. Kitty considered this before suggesting, "Just stick to Logan and Kitty?"

"Yeah." He nodded. There was a comfortable silence in the car before Logan asked, "So, I get where you got 'Kitty' from, but where did you get 'Vics'?"

The edges of Kitty's mouth twitched up and she glanced over at Logan. "Don't laugh." She warned. "I was at the library tryin' to figure out how to make a fake ID and birth certificate and I was hummin' the 'Edge of Seventeen'."

Logan's eyes flicked to her face. "...And?"

"And a guy came over and starting hittin' on me. When he asked for my name, I said Nicks, like Stevie Nicks. I guess he heard 'Vics' because he made a 'Vixen' joke and then…" Kitty shrugged.

"So because a man heard you wrong, your name is 'Vics'?" Logan asked with an amused expression.

"Yeah." Kitty laughed, her face lighting up. "Yeah. Pretty much. Pretty lame, huh?"

"No, not really." Logan snuck a glance at her bright smile. "Is that where the 'Violent Vixen' came from?"

"Well, Deadpool added the 'Violent' part after seeing me fight." Kitty stared out the window for several minutes, watching the scenery. "Could you, uh," She pointed to a street on her left. "Could you turn here?"

Logan quietly nodded and followed the road down to an old cemetery. He parked the rental car at the front gate and looked over at Kitty. She was shaking slightly as she stared at the gate, her face blank. Kitty slowly opened the door and got out of the car.

"Do you want me to-"

"No." Kitty shook her head. "No, this is something I have to do alone."

"Take your time."

Kitty walked through the cemetery, alone, until she came across a headstone bearing the name, "Ethan de Vescot". She sat down on the grass and stared at the smooth marble. Then she removed her sunglasses and hung them on her shirt. "I'm so sorry Ethan." Kitty hugged her knees to her chest and wiped a tear from her cheek. "God, I am so sorry."

"I was supposed to protect you," She sniffled. "I'm older, I was supposed to keep you safe." Kitty ran her hand over her face and through her hair. "Why'd you have to stay home? You should have just gone to the restaurant, like you were supposed to. Then, you would have been safe." She was now full-on crying as the memories of that night burned into her brain. "God, Ethan, I fuckin' told you to just leave me! Why didn't you just fuckin' listen to me? They wouldn't have killed you if you had run like I said." Her breathing was catching in her throat as she muttered, "Always had to be a fuckin' hero."

Kitty suddenly laughed. "You were always the hero. You should have been an Avenger, not me." She paused and tried to wipe off all the tears. "I've done a lot of terrible things since that day. Done some good, too. I guess whatever kinda heaven you're in, I'll never follow."

"We've got a new brother. He looks just like you. And like me, I guess." Kitty sighed and tried to keep herself from crying again. "I kinda got adopted. These really nice guys, Tony and Steve, they took me and this kid Petey in. They're much better than our parents ever were to me. You know, sometimes I say or do something wrong and they give me this, this look. Like they actually care. You would've loved them, especially Petey. He's such a fucking nerd. He's smart, too." Her voice lowered and she slowly said, "They all are."

"I should probably go." She glanced over her shoulder at Logan, who was still watching her as he leaned against the car. Kitty turned back to the gravestone and quietly said, "His name is James. And I, uh, I really like him. I mean, he's kinda an ass, but then again, so am I…" Kitty took a deep breath and replaced her sunglasses. "I miss you, Ethan. I think about you every day and I'm so sorry that you got me as a sister."

The drive to the airport seemed longer on the way back since neither felt the need to break the silence. Logan had changed their flight and they arrived several hours early in case they ran into another security problem.

On their way out, the Adamantium in Logan had caused the metal detectors to go off, and naturally, TSA ascended. It had taken over three hours to get through security; Partially because Logan was being particularly difficult and uncooperative. Finally, Kitty took one of the officers aside and explained that they had been in a car crash and Logan had to have metal implants all throughout his body. She even played up some fake tears, saying that he was still sensitive about it but she had begged him for a vacation. The male TSA agent was like putty in her hands and they were finally allowed to leave for a later flight. Logan couldn't help but be impressed at her lie, even though he hated the pitying looks they gave him.

Once they reached the terminal, Kitty rummaged through her backpack, extracting a drawing pad, before sitting cross legged in one of the uncomfortable blue chairs that all airports seem to have. Logan sat down in the seat next to her. He sent a quick text to Tony, warning him that it did not go well, before trying to take a nap. However, the scratching sounds kept him up and after an hour of unsuccessful rest, he looked over her shoulder to see what she was doing.

"I didn't know you could draw." Logan blurted out. Kitty looked up, startled, and pressed the drawing pad to her chest. "Can I see it?" He asked, gently trying to take the sketchbook. She looked down and reliquienced the drawings to him. The one she was currently working on was obviously of him, the resemblance uncanny. "This is actually pretty good."

"There's more in there…" She turned the page, carefully watching his face for signs that he was lying. "If you want to see." He flipped through the book, enthralled in the artwork. All of the Avengers were in there at least once, but Tony and Deadpool were the most common. There was one of Tony and Steve, obviously deep in conversation, and another showed Wade W. Wilson shoving a chimichanga in his mouth with his mask pulled up over his nose. One of the few drawings in color was Steve as Captain America, standing proud in what looked like a design for an old Army recruitment poster. Bucky had a similar one, drawn from a picture of his old service photo. Most of the art pieces looked like the subjects had no idea they were being drawn.

He lingered on one page, tilting the book towards Kitty.

"Is this...Deadpool? Without a mask?" Logan asked. It was Wade passed out on a couch, one arm draped over the side. "How the hell did you get him to let you do this?"

"I did it when he fell asleep. I've got one I drew of him before he was Deadpool, too; As Wade Wilson. We were on assignment and it was my shift to stay up and he was the most interesting thing there, so I drew him. He doesn't know I did it, though." She looked at him pointedly.

"I won't tell," Logan promised, still flipping through the book. "If…"

Kitty raised her eyebrows. "If?"

"If," Logan smiled wolfishly. "I can keep a drawing."

She smirked, trying to take back the book, but Logan held onto it tight. Finally, she gave up. "Which one do you want?" Kitty asked in a defeated voice.

Logan flipped to a page and showed it her. It was a pencil drawing of him that she had done when she was in the hospital. He was looking up at her and smiling at a sarcastic comment she had made to Steve.

"You want that one?" She laughed. "It's not even finished! Why don't you want this one," She turned the page. "Look, you're all broody in this one."

"Nope. I want that one."

"Fine," She sighed. "I'll finish it, then give it to you, alright?"

"Got yourself a deal, Aurora."

Kitty closed her eyes and gripped the pencil in her hand tight before shoving it deep into Logan's upper arm. "Don't call me that ever again." She growled, her voice dangerous as she yanked the pencil out.

"Ow," Logan rubbed his arm, which had already begun healing. "Fine, sorry," He muttered.

When he didn't hear a snarky remark or a threat, he looked over and saw that she was trembling. "Kitty?" She continued staring down at her now bloodied pencil, her eyes vacant. Logan recognized Kitty's ragged breathing as a mixture of fear and terror. He couldn't help but wonder what her family did to her to make her so traumatized at just a simple name. "Hey," He said softly to get her attention as he wiggled the bloodied pencil from her grip. "I'm sorry, Kitty. Won't happen again."

A woman's voice flowed from the speakers, calling that their plane would be ready to board in five minutes. Kitty numbly packed up her undamaged pencils and sketchbook and carefully put them in her backpack before zipping it shut. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Logan throw away the pencil, still wet with his blood.

She and Logan got in the line to board and were quickly seated in the large, cozy accommodations of first-class. Kitty laid her head against the closed window of the plane. A man upfront started his safety demonstration and Kitty stopped playing attention immediately.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Logan asked.

Kitty decided to play dumb. "Talk about what?" She turned and saw that he was staring at her expectantly. "I'm okay." But even to her ears, she could hear the uncertainty.

"No offense," He laid his head back on the seat as the plane took off down the runway, closing his eyes. "But your mother's a bitch." He peeked at her through one eye to see if it worked. Judging by her laughter, it did.

"Yeah," Kitty giggled, nodding her head as she sat up a little straighter. "Yeah, she is." The cabin lights were turned off and the plane darkened.

Kitty reached into her jacket pocket and retrieved her iPod and earbuds.

"Are you sure you should use those?" Logan asked, pointing at her headphones.

"I need music." Was all Kitty said. She offered one to Logan, who slipped it into his ear. He was not expecting the type of music that flowed through.

"What the hell is this?" He asked Kitty, bewildered as to what he was listening to.

"Irish punk." She said simply, clicking on the screen to show him the title.

"Irish...punk?" Logan raised his eyebrows. Kitty nodded, and he placed the earbud back in, then shrugged. "Not bad."

"Thanks. You can pick the next song," She offered the iPod to him. "There's gotta be something on here you know."

"Tony's Tunes, Steve's Songs, Sarge's Setlist?" He read as he scrolled through her playlists.

"I've got one for everybody, so they can all find something to listen to. You can make yourself one. May I recommend...Logan's Limericks? No, no, no. Wait, I got it!" She said excitedly with a large smile. "Logan's Lullabies!"

Logan couldn't help but smile at her eagerness to name a playlist for him. "Logan's Lullabies." He sighed as he typed it in the device and started adding music to it.

"You'll find Mr. Johnny Cash further down." She watched him add it to his playlist, then continue down the list. "Since when do you like Megadeth?" Kitty asked.

"I like a couple songs," He said defensively. "I'm not that old, you know."

"Are you sure? I've got some 60's psychedelic rock on there," She pointed to the iPod. "Some Credence, maybe some Hendrix. Might be more your speed, old man."

"Enough of the old man thing, princess." He said, his voice carrying a twinge of something Kitty couldn't quite identify.

"Don't call me princess." She moved her earbud to her left ear then laid her head down on his shoulder, drawing her legs up on the chair. The position was surprisingly comfortable for both of them and Kitty lost track of the songs that played. She hadn't even realized she was asleep until she woke up to Logan softly humming along with a Seether song.

"Is that "Careless Whisper"?" Kitty whispered, not quite awake enough to fully open her eyes or move off his shoulder.

"I thought it was the original." He disclosed quietly. "But this version is better."

"Yeah," Kitty smiled, opening up her eyes to the dark airplane. "Don't tell Deadpool that. It's not worth the argument, trust me, I've tried."

"I believe it."

Kitty took the earbud out and sat up before stretching. She rubbed her neck, letting out a small moan. "How much longer is the flight?"

"Little less than a half hour," Logan answered, taking out his earbud as well. He handed the iPod to her. "You've been out a while."

"I didn't even know I fell asleep." She turned off her iPod and unzipped her backpack to put it back.

"I didn't know you talked in your sleep."

Kitty's head shot up, her hands frozen in her bag. Her deep blue eyes were comically wide and even in the darkness, he could see the whites of her eyes. Her heart felt like it was beating out of her chest and she found it hard to breathe. Bruce had commented on her talking in her sleep a couple times, but it was mostly just random words and sounds. It always seemed to be worse when she was upset, though, and she feared what kind of things she could have uttered when half-asleep this time.

"What did I say?" She asked fearfully.

"Well, you sang along to a Bob Dylan song," Logan laughed a little at the horror of her face. "Don't worry, it was quiet. Only I heard," He reassured her. "I thought you were awake, but when I asked you something, you didn't answer. Let's see, you also mumbled something about a Beatles song, so I played it and you seemed pretty happy with that."

"Who doesn't love the Beatles?" Kitty asked, glad that that's all she said.

"You also talked about your family." His smile faded and he seemed quite somber now. "You told me you were glad that your father wasn't home."

Kitty took a deep breath and found it hard to swallow the lump she felt in her throat. She ran her hand through her hair, one of her anxious habits. "That all?" She opened up the window halfway and looked out at the dark clouds around them.

"I asked you why." Logan prompted, but she stayed silent, looking out the window, so he continued. "Stark and Rogers know?"

"They know some of the basics. No details." Kitty sighed. "And it's going to stay that way."

"You talked about why you hate your birthday. And Christmas."

"Sounds like I was talkin' a lot." She retorted shortly. A flight attendant came over the loudspeaker to tell them that the plane was starting it's descent into JFK airport. She kicked her bag back under the seat and continued to watch the clouds outside.

"You were." Logan confirmed.

"Hmm?" Kitty had hoped that the topic was dropped. Apparently, he wasn't going to let it die out.

"You were talking a lot."

She pursed her lips and starting picking at her nails. "Sorry if I kept you from sleeping." The cabin lights flickered on and the brightness hurt Kitty's eyes. In the light, Kitty could now see that Logan was staring at her determinedly. "Lost something over here?" She snapped.

"You'll need to talk about it eventually." He pointed out as the plane lost some altitude and bumped around a bit. He gripped the plane seat tightly and Kitty took a moment to enjoy the anxiety that the rocky ride was causing her travel partner.

"Oh," She nodded, raising an eyebrow. She leaned in closer and Logan could smell her orange-scented perfume. "I musta missed when you got your psychology degree."

"Yep. Missed the graduation, too." He joked before the smile melted off his face. "You do need to talk about it, though." The plane circled the airport and Kitty saw the comforting lights of New York.

"I thought I did when I was asleep." Kitty glanced up at Logan and met his eyes, just now noticing that they were an odd, light golden color. She quickly looked back out the window and added, "Besides, you really don't want to hear about it."

"Why wouldn't I?" Logan asked as the plane finally landed and the pilot announced that people may start deboarding now. He unclipped his seatbelt before getting up and reaching in the overhead bins to get his bag.

Kitty took off her safety belt and bent down to retrieve her backpack from under the seat. She glanced over at Logan, who was stretching to get his own bag, and Kitty took a moment to appreciate the view. She then slipped one of the straps onto her shoulder and moved into the aisle in front of Logan.

"He was an emergency trauma surgeon at the local hospital." She finally answered, turning her head to look up at him. "Or is. I'd imagine he still works there, he was the best in the state." They walked off the plane and into the tarmac. "He had a problem with painkillers. Oxy was his favorite, but he wasn't too picky. Pop a couple pills, go perform surgery. Shoot some into your favorite vein, go home to beat up the daughter you never wanted. It was a vicious, never ending cycle."

"That explains why you're..." Logan searched for the right word.

"That explains it." Kitty said shortly. "You know how they say addiction runs in the family?" Logan nodded. "Well, I don't want to be like that." She walked beside him as they strolled through the airport, past rushing families and busy businessmen.

Off in the corner of the baggage claim area, she saw a woman around her age run towards a man. He picked her up and spun her around before they kissed. It was like a scene in a bad rom-com and Kitty found herself wondering if the relationship would last.

Through the hoards of people, she saw Steve and Tony waiting for them. Steve immediately pulled her into a bone crushing hug, then grabbed her black backpack, slinging it over his shoulder. Tony put his arm around her neck and said, "Glad you're back, Kit." Both men agreed on the ride to the airport that they wouldn't bring up the failure of the trip.

"You guys didn't burn down the Tower while I gone, right?" Kitty asked as they walked through the airport doors into the cool New York air.

"You know we'd never burn down anything without you." Tony reminded her. "Although, I'm sure Deadpool thought about it."


	9. Remember When We Used To Have Sex?

**Remember When We Used To Have Sex?**

"Okay, okay," Deadpool laughed, his hands up. "What's the weirdest song you've ever had sex to?"

Tony sighed and hid his face in his hands. "Star Spangled Banner."

"Oh, that's fucking bad." Deadpool laughed. He pointed at Kitty. "Vicky?"

Kitty tried to keep her mouth shut, but out slipped, "In The Air Tonight, Phil Collins."

"In The Air Tonight." Bruce had hoped that by whispering, no one would be able to hear him. He was wrong.

"Hahahahaha!" Deadpool cackled, holding his stomach with his hand "Guess that wasn't the only thing coming in the air that night!"


	10. John Wick, Ch 2 and a Half

**John Wick, Chapter Two and a Half**

"Ya know, there's a real big price on your head, John."

"How big?"

"Last text I got said fifty mil. It's probably double that now."

"It's a good thing I came to a friend, then."

* * *

Tony Stark stepped out of the elevator and walked into the living room, only to stop abruptly. There was a man wearing an all black suit sitting at the kitchen table, quietly eating cereal. His dark hair just barely brushed his shoulders and there were a wide assortment of cuts and bruises over his face and hands.

"Hello…" Tony's voice trailed off.

The man at the table looked up and nodded curtly before eating another spoonful of cereal.

"Hey, dad!" Kitty called from the kitchen. She had two mugs of coffee in her hand and placed one in front of the visitor.

"Kit, can I speak to you in the hallway?" Tony asked, his eyes still trained on the man. "Right now."

"Sure." She chirped as she followed Tony out of the room.

"Okay, who is he," Tony jerked his thumb towards the kitchen. "And why does he look like he's been through a tree shredder?"

"John is an old friend."

"Old friend, like an old mercenary friend?" Tony asked impatiently.

Kitty shrugged innocently before brushing a strand of hair out of her face. "He got out of the business."

"Yeah, he looks like it." Tony retorted.

The elevator ding'd and Logan stepped off. "Morning." He greeted before going into the kitchen for coffee.

Once it was just the two of them again, Kitty said, "Well, he was retired, then his wife died and apparently these assholes killed the dog she left him and then they stole his car-" She shook her head. "Anyways, not important. He just needed a safe place to crash for a night."

"Okay…" Tony rubbed the back of his neck and shut his eyes. "Okay, well is he going to be a problem?"

"No, he should behave. Besides, he'll be out of here by tomorrow." She promised. They both started for the door before she said, "Hey, do you know if Bruce is up? John won't admit it, but he needs stitches."

"Tell you what," Tony walked back into the room, Kitty right behind him. "If he's not up by the time we get done with breakfast, you can use the speaker system to wake him up."

"I think he could use a little Offspring." Kitty smiled and nodded her head. "'Pretty Fly For A White Guy?'"

"If he's not up, then go ahead." Tony allowed.

Kitty glanced up to see Logan sitting in her spot at the table, her mug in his hand. She ground her teeth together and grabbed a pen to throw.

John looked entertained as Logan grasped the ink pen and yanked it out of his chest. "That does hurt, you know." Logan reminded her, depositing the bloody pen on the table.

"You drank my coffee!" She said as she took back her mug to refill. When Kitty came back, she saw that he had eaten most of her cereal as well. "And you ate my breakfast?"

"That was directly in my heart." Logan growled, rubbing his already healed chest.

"I know," Kitty took a sip from her coffee mug before smiling. "Because that's what I was aiming for."

Logan was about to reply when a loud voice flowed from the hallway.

Kitty's eyes widened and she said, "Oh, shit."

John's dark eyebrows laced together and he looked up at Kitty. "Who is that?"

"No, no, no. Not today." Kitty fretted as she ran out to the hallway.

There were muffled sounds until they heard, "Who are you hiding?" Deadpool pushed past Kitty and entered the room.

"_Wilson_." John said through clenched teeth.

"_Wick_."

Deadpool and John both drew their guns and pointed them at each other.

"Come on, guys!" Kitty complained. "This was years ago!" She saw Logan bolt up and engage his claws as he carefully moved closer to her. Tony stood up as well, careful to stay out of the line of fire.

When the two men didn't put down their guns, Kitty stepped in between them. "There's three people in this room who can die and only two who can't. So, let's put the guns up."

"No fucking way." Deadpool argued without taking his eyes off of the dark haired man.

"Get out of the way, Kitty." John ordered.

"No, this is stupid!" She turned her head towards Deadpool and said, "Sarge, put the gun down."

"Sorry, Vicky," Deadpool shook his head. "But stay the fuck out of this before you get hurt."

"Oh, so now you care if she gets hurt?" John asked, his voice rough as he glared at Deadpool over Kitty's head.

"Hey, nobody's getting hurt here." Tony told the group loudly.

Logan stepped in front of Kitty, his claws still out. "If you two got something to work out, do it without her."

"No!" Kitty squeaked, her eyebrows drawn together. She glanced at Deadpool and John before saying, "If both of you could die, or neither of you, it wouldn't be such a big deal. But John," She turned to him. "Wilson can't die now. He'll just come back twice as annoying. But you can die. Be smart about this." Kitty pled.

"What the hell is going on?" Tony asked.

"Why are you on his side?" John demanded with a nod at Deadpool. "You were almost killed because of him!"

"And we've covered each others asses thousands of times since." Kitty argued. "He's not the same person, John. He wouldn't do that again."

"I can't believe you actually trust him." John roared.

"Well, she does." Deadpool said triumphantly. "So, let's just settle this ourselves, Wick."

"No one's settling anything!" Kitty yelled.

Logan shook his head and warned, "Kitty, just let them work it out."

"No! No, because they'll hurt each other over something stupid that happened years ago!" Kitty tried to step out from behind Logan, but then the shots rang through the room.

Logan had no idea who fired first, but it was over fast. He had five bullets in various parts of his body, already healing over. He saw that John had two shots in his left shoulder and Deadpool had three holes in the head and a slice mark across his leg from Logan.

He turned to check on Kitty, but saw that she was lying on the floor. "KATE!" Logan bent down and pressed his fingers on her neck to find her pulse. He tapped her face softly and asked, "Hey, can you hear me? Kate?"

Kitty's eyes were still closed when she mumbled, "If I live and find out which of you fucking morons shot me, Imma rip you the fuck apart."

"Kit!" Tony ran to her and started putting pressure on the wound on her chest. Blood was blossoming over her shirt and Kitty's skin was pale and clammy.

"Here," In one of John's hands was a dishcloth, the other was clutching his shoulder. He shoved the white towel at Tony. "Use this to put pressure."

Logan easily scooped Kitty up in his arms and said, "We've got to get her to Banner."

"I'm sorry, Eth." Kitty whispered, her eyes still shut. "It was all my fault. I was 'pose to protect you."

"Nothing was your fault, Kit." Tony assured her as Logan carried her to the elevator. John followed them to the hall, still holding his arm.

"Get the next one." Logan growled as the man tried to get in the lift with them. John silently stepped back and watched the elevator doors shut.

While in the lift, Logan noticed her breathing growing shallow. "Kitty, come on and open up your eyes."

"Mmm tired, James." Kitty murmured. "You're always so unreasonable."

"Says the girl who just tried to stop two mercenaries from killing each other."

The elevator jerked to a stop and the door opened to the med bay, which (luckily) Bruce was already in.

"Oh, what now-" Bruce Banner looked up to see Kitty in Logan's arms. "Great." She was carefully unloaded onto the table and Bruce started sticking leads on her chest. The screen was blank, unresponsive. He pressed his finger to her neck, no pulse. "Shit. Tony, get the crash cart!"

Logan watched as Bruce started chest compressions and Tony started up the crash cart. "Is there anything I can do?"

"Stop getting her injured." Bruce muttered.

The whine of the monitor informed them that Kitty was still dead until it stopped completely. Everything in the room stopped completely as Evelyn strolled in. She walked straight up to where Kitty was and flicked the frozen Bruce Banner on the shoulder. He moved a few feet and Evelyn bent down to look at Kitty.

"You are always injured, my friend." Evelyn clicked her tongue and shook her head. Judging by the position of the bullet, she suspected that it had tore through her superior vena cava and ended up lodged in her lung. Easy fix: sea salt, sage, rosemary, some cinnamon, poppy seeds. Little bit of mumbling on how tasking it is, keeping humans alive.

Kitty gasped as she jolted up on the table. Her hand grasped at her chest and she looked around the med bay in shock. "E-e-Evie?" She gasped.

She bowed her head. "Kitty."

"Where," Kitty glanced around at the frozen people. "What's goin' on?"

"You died." Evelyn said bluntly. She started picking up the remainders of her little concoction.

"Why do I always end up dead?" Kitty asked as Evelyn helped her off the table.

Evelyn paused. "That is a story for another time."

Kitty laughed and said, "That's more than slightly vague." She was hoping for an answer, but Evelyn was tight lipped. The smile melted off when Kitty realized that she almost looked...worried. "What does that mean?"

"I will tell you later." Evelyn promised. She snapped her fingers loudly, bringing the room back from its frozen state.

"Kitty!" Bruce, Tony, and Logan said at once. They crowded around her and Bruce immediately pressed a stethoscope to her back.

"I'm fine, I'm fine." Kitty insisted as she pushed her way through the crowd. She went out into the hallway and was followed by Logan, who appeared angry.

"God, Kitty, do you know how much more grey hair I've gotten just from being near you?" Logan demanded.

Kitty turned around fast and retorted, "Maybe you should worry more about yourself and less like a random person."

"You're not a random person," Logan nagged. "You were my CO, and I like you alive. What you did out there was stupid and reckless and-"

"And my own damn prerogative." Kitty hissed before she got into the elevator, alone.


	11. Dad's Gonna Kill Me

**Dad's Gonna Kill Me**

Kitty Vics parked her bike on the curb and walked into the small corner store, going straight to the first aid section. She grabbed two boxes of gauze pads and a roll of paper tape, keeping them perched in her arm as she searched for butterfly bandages. After finally finding them, she went up to the counter to pay. There was a young woman working, no older than twenty two, who stared at Kitty as she unloaded the medical supplies onto the counter with a smile.

"How's your day going?" The young worker asked with wide eyes as she took in the large cut on Kitty's forehead, her split lip, and the bruise forming on her cheek.

"Oh, pretty good." Kitty told her brightly as the woman began to ring up the supplies, her eyes still trained on Kitty. "What's wrong?" The woman was still staring at Kitty with concern.

"Well, you...Uh." The cashier raised her hand to her own forehead and touched it before pointing at Kitty. "You're bleeding."

Kitty wiped away some blood and smiled. "Oh, yeah. It's not a big deal."

"Are you sure?" She asked as she placed the supplies in a black backpack Kitty gave her.

Kitty nodded and handed her some money. "Work. Happens all the time." She shrugged.

"What kind of work you in?" The woman counted out her change and gave it to Kitty along with her bag of stuff.

"The dangerous kind." Kitty smiled and winked at the woman before throwing her bag over her shoulder and walking out of the small drugstore. Kitty drove back to the Tower and parked the bike in the garage before making her way upstairs.

"There you are Kitten-Annnnd you're hurt." Bruce Banner sighed as Kitty walked into the med bay, blood still slowly flowing down her cheek. "Everytime I see you, you're injured."

"Not every time." Kitty disagreed, sitting down on one of the beds. "But yeah, most of the time." Bruce carefully examined the cut on her forehead.

"Well, you don't need stitches." Bruce told her as he pressed a butterfly bandage to her forehead. "Do I want to know what caused these?" He asked as he wiped some of the blood off her face.

Kitty shook her head and smiled. "Plausible deniability."

"Yeah, that sounds about right." Bruce finished checking her over for more wounds and gave her the all clear.


	12. Fast Times At Stark Tower

**Fast Times At Stark Tower**

Kitty Vics darted into the kitchen and started rifling through the cupboard as quietly as she could.

"What are you doing?" Tony asked suspiciously as he walked into the kitchen. She jumped slightly, since she hadn't noticed him in the living room.

Kitty looked up like a deer in headlights. "What, nothing."

"Hey, sis, did you get the," Peter bounced into the room only to stop at the sight of Tony. "Hey, dad."

"What are you two doing?"

"Well, we were watching TV," Peter rambled, making Kitty roll her eyes. The kid was the definition of weak. "When a Red Bull commercial came on, and Kitty said she preferred Monster and _then_ we were talking about the effects on someone who is genetically enhanced and Kitty suggested-"

"I did not!" Kitty interrupted. "I merely wondered out loud…"

"If me drinking 36 Red Bulls would make my spidey senses more heightened or if it will kill me." Peter finished with a smile.

Tony's eyes flicked to the drinks in their hands then asked, "Then why do you have the Monsters?"

"Logan, Deadpool, Scotty, and I are drinking in moral support." Kitty smiled and gathered the last of the energy drinks while Tony sighed.

Bruce walked in, only to stop at the sight of them. "What are you doing with all those energy drinks?"

"Science!"

"I'll get the med kit."

Tony rolled his eyes and said, "It's like I'm running a daycare." As the three left, he called out, "You guys need to clean up after yourselves if you throw up or die."

Kitty, Peter, and Bruce stopped off at the medical quarters before continuing down to the gym. Kitty saw that Steve had joined the group and was talking to Logan.

"Hey, Steve," Kitty smiled. "We're gonna do an experiment." She started handing out the cans of energy drinks. "Want in?"

"What is that?" Steve asked as Logan popped the tab on a silver and blue can.

"Red Bull." Logan handed the can to Steve, who appeared suspicious.

He inspected the energy drink before looking up at Kitty and Peter. "What kind of bull?"

Logan nodded to the can. "Drink."

"Okay, everyone!" Bruce commanded the attention of the room. He had set up an emergency table, full of syringes and medical devices. "The average person can drink two to three Monsters per day without suffering severe consequences from the caffeine." Bruce reported.

"Those are rookie numbers!" Kitty quoted as she popped open her can of Monster. "We gotta pump those numbers up!"

"Are you ready?" Scott asked as he raised a can of Redbull to his lips.

"I am most certainly ready for death." Kitty said seriously.

Peter finger gunned at Kitty. "Eyyy, me too!"

Ant-Man looked at the young Avengers in concern. "What is wrong with you two?"

"Same." Steve chimed in.

Logan nodded. "Let's get this shit started."

"Hey!" Deadpool whined and stomped his foot. "I want to die!"

"What the hell is wrong with all of you?" Scott asked, utterly bewildered.

"You can't really be an Avenger unless you're mildly suicidal." Kitty explained. "It's in the rule book."

"That's a joke, right?" Scott turned to Bruce. "I can never tell when she's joking."

"No," Steve shook his head. "Not really."

"Okay," Kitty said loudly. "Raise your hand if you've had suicidal thoughts or actions." She raised her hand proudly.

Deadpool started jumping up and down, "Ooh, ohh! Pick me!"

Logan silently raised his hand, as did Bruce. Scott looked most shocked at Steve.

"You, too?!"

"Why did you think I always picked on guys twice my size?" Steve asked with a shrug.

"You guys need to stop hiring Avengers and start hiring shrinks." Scott told them.

Kitty and Deadpool starting chanting, "Drink, drink, drink, drink, drink!"

Logan felt it first, almost instantly. His heart sped and it felt like alll the hair on his body was charged with electricity. His only lasted half an hour.

Scott drank four and it set in in about half an hour. His jitters lasted about eight hours.

Steve drank eight Red Bulls and felt the effects immediately. It only lasted for two hours, but definitely made an impact.

Peter was hyper instantly after drinking through nine Red Bulls.

"Uh, guys," Kitty threw her tenth Monster can down on the ground so she could hold her stomach. "I feel...Sloshy."

"Why does that make so much sense?" Scott asked before she could get the words out of her mouth.

"Wilson died again!" Logan pointed to Deadpool, who was lying on the floor, motionless.

Bruce clicked the side of his stopwatch. "How many did he drink?"

"Uh…" Kitty started counting the tallies on the whiteboard. "Fifty-three." She disappeared and Bruce had a hard time finding her.

Bruce looked around the gym. "Kitty?"

A blonde head of hair poked itself out from behind a rack of spears. "YeahBruce?"

Bruce held his stopwatch out of sight and asked, "Can you run from there to here for me?"

Kitty smiled and nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah!"

If you had blinked, you would have missed it. Bruce barely had time to click on his watch when Kitty was nearly breathing down his neck.

"That was...fast." Bruce sputtered. He looked down at the watch, then back up at Kitty's bright face.

"Hey, solike, doyathinkgivinanenergydrinktosomeonelikeQuickSilverwouldmakehimfaster?" Kitty asked. "Andhowfastwouldthatmakehim? Hey, isWilsonawakeyet, Iwannaplayagamewithhim."

"Ooh, let'sseewhocandothemostbackflips!" Peter suggested, his body vibrating.

Scott nodded, his face alight with excitement. "Ready?!"

Kitty and Peter nodded. "OnetwoTHREE!" She yelled.

Scott did a backflip into a display of spears and yelled, "I LOST!"


	13. Die Another Day

**Die Another Day**

Tony and Bruce were sitting in a conference room on the first level of Stark Tower. Bruce had insisted on privacy, since the subject was so...Intimate. A TV was mounted in the corner and Bruce had made sure that Tony was sitting where it was in full view.

"Bruce, why exactly am I here?" Tony asked impatiently.

Bruce ignored his question. "JARVIS, please show the footage from the gym, yesterday at 7pm."

"Yes, Dr. Banner." JARVIS responded as the TV flicked to life. It showed Deadpool off to the corner, lying motionless on the ground. In the middle, was Kitty hiding behind a rack. There was a moment where Kitty seemed to blur before she stood practically pressed up to Bruce. The video paused and Bruce looked at Tony.

"I clocked her at 82 meters in 6.2 seconds."

Tony laughed. "Are you sure?"

Bruce nodded. "That's after ten Monsters, which is eight more than someone her size should be able to drink."

"So," Tony shrugged. "What does that mean?"

"...Enhanced metabolism, maybe?" Bruce suggested as he sat down.

"Are you saying that she's a Mutant?"

"Well, she's survived things she shouldn't have." Bruce reminded him. "I read Alice's chart from the bomb, and Kitty's O2 level would have caused brain death after four minutes."

"I think we misjudged the time-"

"There's no possible way that she got enough oxygen to survive the time from the explosion to when Steve found her."

Tony remained silent.

"I think we need to consider that maybe she's not...Normal…"

Tony laughed. "Well, of course she's not normal! None of us are actually normal."

Bruce pressed his lips together before saying, "You know what I mean. I think she's...Genetically mutated in a way we haven't considered before."

"Okay…What do we do about it?" Tony asked.

Bruce sighed. "I doubt she'll let me run those kind of blood tests."

"Don't you have samples or something of us all?" Tony asked with a pointed look.

"I have a sample from when she first joined the Avengers." Bruce admitted.

"Then use that."

"Tony, I know that you've had to have noticed that over the last few years, Kitty has gotten…" Bruce struggled to find the word. "More reckless."

"She's always been reckless." Tony pointed out, having not liked the suggestion of Bruce's comments. "And it's not like she isn't getting hurt all the time."

"But she hasn't stayed dead."

"'Stayed dead'.' Tony's eyes narrowed and he asked in a cool voice, "What's that supposed to mean, Banner?"

"Steve said that she didn't have a pulse when he found her." Bruce's face softened. "She was dead, Tony."

"I've not had a pulse before. So has Romanoff, Barton-"

"Tony, she's died on my table three times." Bruce said bluntly.

Tony's face dropped. "What?"

Bruce rubbed his forehead. "The first time was when she had just joined the Avengers, when she showed up with the chest wound after she disappeared." He took a deep breath, remembering how helpless he felt. "I kicked you and Steve out of there because she flatlined and I couldn't bring her back."

"So, her leads came loose or-"

"She was dead, Tony. I had given up, taken off my gloves, called the time of death, Tuesday 3:24AM, and was about to get you when she suddenly sat up and started screaming." Bruce felt like he could still hear her agonizing cry as she scrambled on the table. "When I tried to take her pulse again, she still didn't have one. She was alive and screaming and crying, but her heart didn't start beating for another hour. Her blood had coagulated. This has happened three times. By the third time, I timed how long it took from no pulse to her being conscious to her heart beating. The entire ordeal was thirty-six minutes."

Tony eased himself into a chair and rubbed his hands over his face. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"Because there was no point." Bruce sat down across from him. "I didn't know if it was me, her, or something else, but she shouldn't have been able to cry and try to get off my table when her heart wasn't even beating." He gave a short laugh. "She's Schrodinger's girl. Both alive and dead at the same time."

"So why exactly can't you test her older blood sample?"

"Because she's getting more resilient. Her old blood sample is from when it took an hour for her to wake up from being dead. This last time, with Ashley's bomb, took less than thirty minutes. It's like everytime she dies, her genetics comes back stronger."

"Okay, so let's just ask her for a blood sample." Bruce gave Tony a look. "Yeah," Tony nodded. "You're right, stupid idea."

"Next time she's hurt, I was to get a sample."

"Shouldn't take too long." Tony sighed. "How much do you need?"

"At least five vials for a full panel." Bruce admitted sheepishly.

"Five vials?"

Bruce silently nodded.

Tony rubbed his forehead. "Okay. Okay, well she will definitely have to be out of it."


	14. Made in America

**Made In America**

Kitty walked down to the lobby and saw a dark haired girl waiting in one of the chairs. She had messy, curly brown hair and dark eyes that looked kind.

"Have you been helped?" Kitty asked the girl.

"I'm waiting for Tony Stark." She said in a bright voice.

"Oh," Kitty nodded and smiled. "Okay, is he expecting you?"

The dark haired girl shook her head. "Probably not. I'm his daughter." She said proudly.

The smile melted off her face and Kitty blinked rapidly before asking, "I'm sorry, his what now?"

"His daughter." The girl repeated innocently.

Kitty kept her eyes locked on the girl as she fished out her cell phone and dialed Tony's number. "Hey, can you, uh, come down to the lobby? Yeah...Well, your headache is about to get much, much worse."

For five minutes, Kitty stared at the girl. Everytime she looked up and met Kitty's gaze, she would quickly look back down. The girl breathed a sigh of relief when Tony came down to the lobby.

Tony immediately noticed the awkward behavior and the tension in the room. "What's wrong, Kit?"

She just pointed at the girl, who was now standing up.

Tony turned around and offered his hand to the girl. "Tony Stark. How can I help you?"

The girl smiled bright and said, "I'm your daughter!"

He blinked in shock and shook his head softly. "Excuse me?"

"I'm Alyssa Hues. I'm your daughter!" The girl wrapped her arms around Tony, who pushed her off with one finger.

Tony looked at Kitty. "My daughter?"

Kitty's only response was a shrug.

"Wait...Hues….Hues…" Tony looked like he was thinking. "Your mother worked for me, right? Brook?"

"Yeah!" The girl nodded. "Brook Hues."

"I've never had a Brook work for me." Tony said with certainty. "Ever."

Alyssa's face fell and she shook her head. "No, you must not be remembering right. She was your assistant-"

"Pepper is the only assistant I've ever had." Tony told her.

"But-"

"What was your mother's name?" Kitty asked.

"I...I don't know. She died when I was born. My grandma raised me."

"Did your grandma tell you he was your father?" Kitty asked gently. "As a way to explain why you never had one?"

"I have one. She said it's Tony Stark."

"Are you willing to do a blood test?" Toy asked, his attention focused entirely on his cell phone. "Right now?"

"Yeah, of course, dad." The girl smiled widely and Kitty had to try to not groan.

* * *

An hour later, with the girl in the other room, Bruce sighed. "Well, she's not yours."

"You're 100% sure?" Kitty asked.

"Not even the same blood type. No similar DNA components, nothing. You and Tony actually have more in common than him and her."

"Oh, thank god." Tony said with a sigh of relief. "I cannot handle a daughter."

"What?" Kitty's eyebrows drew together. "So, what, you don't want an actual daughter, just one that you can deny via blood test?"

"Kit," Tony tried to get closer to Kitty, who stepped away. "That's not what I meant."

"I know what you meant. And I get it." She shrugged in what she hoped looked like a nonchalant manner. "It's probably more convenient that you can argue that I'm not blood. Just an adopted child, probably good for Tony Stark's image. Look at him, good for him for adopting such a terrible person."

"You're not a terrible person."

"She's not even worth the money to insure her." Kitty quoted. "Remember that? Because I do."

"Kitty, that was before I knew you."

"No, it wasn't. It was when you only knew part of me." Kitty turned and walked away.


	15. Men In Black

**Men In Black**

"Kitty." Tony's voice held an obvious warning as she inched into the living room. "These nice people are from the FBI."

Logan looked down at Kitty, who just smiled and nodded her head at the two men. "Scully. Moulder." Steve closed his eyes and sighed at Kitty's joke. "What do the Men in Black want with lil old me?" She crossed her arms over her chest and stared them down.

"I think you know." The taller one said.

Kitty pretended to think, placing her index finger on her chin. "Hmm...Nothin's comin' to mind."

"Try multiple counts of first degree murder," The second man said sternly. "Arson, money laundering-"

"And don't forget aiding and abetting." The other added.

Kitty rolled her eyes. "Who the fuck-"

"Language!" Steve reminded her. "Language, Kitty.""

"Sorry." Kitty cleared her throat poshly and held up one finger. "Whom the fuck-"

"Kitty!"

"Ooh, are you two big agents gonna spank me?" Kitty licked her lips and raised her eyebrows suggestively.

"Kitty!" Tony hissed.

"No, actually, ma'am." The slightly shorter one started. "We're going to need to take you downtown."

"Finally! I'm starving!" Kitty smiled and grabbed her jacket. "I just hope you know that you're paying, King."

"Come on, I paid last time!" The taller one whined. He bent down so Kitty could kiss his cheek.

"No," She shook her head. "I think Josie paid last time."

"Yeah," Jose nodded. "I did Belfast."

"And I paid for Rome and Tallahassee." Kingsley recalled. "When did you pay?"

"L.A and...Ah shit, it is my turn." Kitty sighed and shook her head. She threw her hands up and said, "Dinner's on me, guys. Hey," She pointed to Jose. "How's the wife?"

"She left me."

Kingsley silently handed a wad of cash to Kitty then paused. "Wait, wait, wait," He said, holding up one hand. "Which girlfriend did she find out about?"

"Michelle." Jose said sadly.

"Damn!" Kitty handed the money back to King. "I thought it'd be Amber. Actually, I thought she'd find out because you got one pregnant-"

Jose looked down in shame.

"YES!" Kitty cheered.

"I was hoping you wouldn't ask." Kingsley gave Kitty the money back.

"Come on, Vics," Jose whined. "This is my life!"

"That's why it's sooo easy to make fun of." Kitty punched her knuckles against Kingsley's.

"Are you two really FBI?" Steve asked warily.

"Yeah, why?" Kingsley asked with confusion.

"Guys, this is Jose and Kingsley, they were in Special Forces with me." Kitty put on her jacket. "We'll be back later. Bye!"


	16. Danger: Lava!

**Danger: Lava!**

Kitty was on top of the ceiling fan, perfectly still as she held onto the chain. Peter was webbed to the ceiling corner, while Bucky was standing on the kitchen counter. All three stared at Bruce when he walked in.

"Aren't you three supposed to be professionals?" He asked.

"Those are some awfully big words for someone standin' in lava." Kitty said very matter of factly.


	17. Star Wars: A New Hope

**Star Wars, Episode IV: A New Hope**

Kitty Vics jumped at the loud boom ringing through the Tower. Her hand flew to the side of her thigh that her gun normally resides, but only touched the fabric of her jeans. Her heart raced as the sounds continued, sending her brain into a panicked frenzy as she searched for a weapon. Kitty pressed one of her hands to her head as the sound crept into her ears, sending pain through her body. The sounds were crippling and Kitty fell down to her knees, her hands clutching at her ears as she fought off a wave of nausea. The offending sounds weren't that loud, but it was just the right frequency to aggravate Kitty's still sensitive eardrums. Kitty moved so her back was pressed up against the cupboard, her legs drawn up to her chest and her eyes screwed shut in pain.

"You, too?"

Kitty whipped her head up to look at Steve, who looked as unnerved as her. She managed to pry her hands from her ears, trying to ignore the pain rushing through her head. "Tony wants to do a Star Wars-pajama party-marathon in about an hour. I told him that I'd never seen it and he thinks having a loud star war going on might help distract from-"

Another boom crack crack crack went off outside, cutting Steve off and making Kitty flinch and cover her ears. Steve waited for it to pass and Kitty gently removed her hands so she could hear him. "That. So, I'm going around asking everybody."

"Who else is coming?" Kitty asked shakily.

"Me, Tony, Peter is bringing Deadpool who is bringing Logan-"

"Man, are you sure we aren't having a veteran's party?" Kitty awkwardly joked as a sizzling firework was released.

Steve couldn't help but smile. "So, you in?"

"Might as well." Kitty said as more fireworks were lit off. "I really fuckin' hate New Years." She cautiously got up and walked back to her room to shower and change into her pajamas. Kitty emerged from her room in a pair of black and grey flannel pants and a Green Day shirt. Her blonde hair was damp down her back and she held a hairbrush in her hand. She took the lift down to the living room and sat down in one of the crooks of the large, 'U' shaped couch to wait for the party to start.

Kitty started brushing her hair, trying to ignore the firework sounds outside and her increased heartbeat. She didn't have to wait long, for Deadpool and Co. entered the room after just a few minutes.

"Hola Hermosa!" Deadpool called as he walked into the living room, a brown paper bag in his arms. He was wearing a giant onesie pajama set, complete with small Deadpool logos that he obviously sewed on himself. He reached into the bag and withdrew a taco before tossing it at Kitty, who caught it easily despite being on the other side of the room. "Te traigo tacos y un viejo gruñón que te ama."

"Todavía leyendo comics basura, veo." Kitty set down her hairbrush, then unwrapped the foil off the taco and took a bite, watching Logan and Peter file in behind him. "No harás amigos si lees sus pensamientos internos y los explotas." She reminded him. "Hey Logan, hey little brother." Kitty nodded at the two men. Peter was wearing black sweatpants and a red hoodie, and had what looked like a lollipop in his mouth. Kitty did a double take upon seeing Logan. Although this event was to be a pajama party, she hadn't actually expected to see him in a pair of grey sweatpants and a white shirt. She quickly looked away, choosing to take another bite of food to keep her eyes from obviously wandering.

"¿De qué otra manera sabré si secretamente me odias?" Deadpool pouted as he flopped down dramatically next to her, multiple tacos in his hands. Peter sat down next to Deadpool on the large couch, instantly relaxing.

Kitty sighed and said, "No te odiamos en secreto, guapo, pero es difícil jugar contigo cuando comienzas a hablar de los sentimientos secretos de otra persona." Kitty looked up at Logan and patted the spot next to her expectantly. "También es difícil cuando manipulas las circunstancias para las personas. No aprecio que me arrojes hombres." She said as Logan sat down on the other side of Kitty.

"No te arrojo hombres." Deadpool muttered, avoiding Kitty's gaze. "Yo sólo quiero que seas feliz."

"If you guys are going to talk about us, can you at least do it in English?" Peter asked, taking the lollipop out of his mouth. "That way we can defend ourselves."

"We're not talking about you." Kitty finished off her taco, then balled up the foil and threw it across the room, watching as it landed smoothly in the trash. "We're discussing the five and a half cent upcharge at the taco truck for extra sour cream."

"¿Por qué le mientes a tu hermano pequeño?" Deadpool asked, opening up another taco to devour. "Le hice leer el cómic también. A él le gustan ustedes dos como pareja."

Kitty just stared at Deadpool, her teeth clenched as she fought off the urge to stab her friend. "Estoy considerando seriamente arrancarte la cabeza."

"Please don't." Deadpool said, guestering to the onesie he was wearing. "These are my official jammies and I plan to market them."

"Strangulation?" Kitty asked hopefully as Logan looked over at her questioningly.

"Apuesto a que estaría metido en eso." Deadpool shrugged. "Poco juego de piso. Puedo cubrir mientras ustedes dos escapan y tienen un poco de tiempo de juego. Pero intenta mantener el gemido hacia abajo."

"English." Peter reminded them in a sing-song voice.

"Habla en serio, los cubriré por completo para ustedes dos." Deadpool nodded. "Pero tendrás que darme una jugada jugada por jugada más tarde."

"We'll discuss this later." Kitty said cooly to Deadpool as she moved to sit cross-legged in her spot.

"Looking forward to it." Deadpool smiled obnoxiously.

Kitty ran the hairbrush through her damp hair before setting it down on the coffee table so she could braid her hair back out of her face. She had just finished the braid when more fireworks were set off outside, and her hands dropped down to her side to hug her knees to her chest. The only one in the room who wasn't affected was Peter, who immediately set to trying to help Deadpool. Kitty saw Logan's arm tensing up out of the corner of her eyes and she gently placed her hand on top of his, careful to keep her eyes facing front.

"Everyone ready to travel to a galaxy far, far away?" Tony asked as he and Steve walked into the room with a handful of dvds. There was a chorus of agreement and Kitty felt Logan's hand relax slightly under hers. Tony was wearing an Iron Maiden shirt and flannel pants, similar to Kitty's, and Steve was in a blue t-shirt and black fleece pants. Both looked excited to start the movie night.

"Are we doing it in story order or production order?" Kitty asked. "Because the prequels suck."

"They weren't that bad." Peter defended. "Episode two is my favorite."

"They were a CGI mess!" Kitty complained. "Everything was too clean. The original trilogy was gritty and dirty, like how they're supposed to be."

"Hey, the prequels had the best storylines!" Peter tried to argue, but Kitty just scoffed and rolled her eyes. "And they finally talked about the Midichlorians and the Skywalker line."

"¿Por qué tienes que salir con un niño?" Kitty asked Deadpool, waving her hand towards Peter.

"Al menos no amo a un hombre más de un siglo mayor que yo. Sabes que él te sobrevivirá y luego te reemplazará más tarde. Eres solo un reemplazo, tanto a él como a Bucky" Deadpool pointed out with a nod. "Esos son algunos problemas serios con papi."

"That's it," Kitty growled as she lunged forward, reaching for Deadpool. "I'm gonna fuckin' kill 'em."  
"No, no, no." Logan held her back as she still fought to get her hands around Deadpool's throat. "I don't know what he said to you, but if you kill him, you'll just get upset till he wakes up again." She lept for him again, so Logan wrapped his arm across her chest and anchored her to him.

"El tiene razón." Deadpool pointed out. "Escucha a tu amante."

"Él no es mi amante, idiota." Kitty spat as Logan tightened his grip on her.

"¿Es por eso que hay tanta tensión sexual?" Deadpool asked in faux-concern. "¿No pueden ustedes dos simplemente joder como humanos normales? Te ves como si estuvieras disfrutando de que tu no-amante te abrace así. Ah, y parece que él lo está disfrutando también."

"Espero que disfrutes tu lengua ahora porque voy a cortarla y alimentar a un perro." Kitty growled as she tried to jerk closer to Deadpool.

Deadpool smiled and retorted, "Apuesto a que disfrutas la lengua de tu amante."

"Usted repugnante pequeño cerdo!" Kitty hollered. "Voy-"

"Okay, okay." Tony held up his hands to silence the feud that was brewing. "No fighting children. Deadpool," He pointed at the onesie covered man. "Apologize to Kitty."

"Why do I have to apologize first?" Deadpool whined.

"Because whatever you said to her was probably more hurtful than what she said to you." Steve pointed out.

"And if you don't, I'll let go of her and let her tear you to pieces while we all watch and laugh." Logan threatened, still holding back Kitty, who was struggling to get closer.

"Lamento haber sacado a colación tus problemas con papi." Deadpool apologized, his head bowed. "Sé que es un problema grave para ti y lo siento."

"Perdón por leer sobre mis sentimientos por..." Kitty's eyes quickly flicked to Logan before settling back on Deadpool. "Otros miembros del equipo? Bucky, también?"

Deadpool nodded, his head still down like a kicked puppy. "Sí, lo siento por eso, también. Usted nunca podría ser reemplazado. Y si lo intenta, lo mataré." The corners of his mouth jerked up under his mask as he said, "Pero debo admitir que es bastante difícil estar en la misma habitación que ustedes dos. La tensión sexual es increíble."

Kitty rolled her eyes, ignoring that last part. "¿Esto significa que todavía dejas de leer nuestros cómics?"

"De ninguna manera." Deadpool confirmed.

"That's what I figured." Kitty nodded. Logan let go of her cautiously, but she just looked down at her nails and mumbled, "Lamento haber sacado a relucir la edad de tu pareja."

"Está bien." Deadpool shrugged. "Sé que Pete es joven, pero estoy muy feliz con él."

The three other people in the room were watching the exchange like it was a tennis game, although no one had an idea what the fight was about. Tony watched for signs that the discussion was over before asking, "Are we okay here?" Both mercenaries nodded. "Okay, good."

"I have no idea what just happened." Steve whispered to Tony, who just shrugged.

"I don't know either." Tony cleared his throat and addressed the room. "So how about we watch three movies tonight, and the other ones another night. Now, raise your hand if you want to watch episode four, five, and six tonight." Kitty, Deadpool, and Tony raised their hands. Kitty looked over and nudged Logan until he voted. "Democracy says production order first." Tony set up the movie, then sat down between Peter and Steve.

The perplexing sounds of fireworks were masked by the loud, legendary beginning credits of Star Wars: A New Hope. Tony was quick to give commentary on what in the movie was possible vs what definitely could have never happened.

"I wonder if we could make working lightsabers." Peter said.

"Probably not," Tony shook his head, then paused. "But I could possibly make a functional Millennium Falcon…" He looked over at Kitty and Peter before fishing his phone out of his pocket. Steve reached forward and paused the movie as Tony dialed. "Hey, so, uh, want to help me build a real Millennium Falcon?"

There was a pause before Bruce Banner said, "Yeah, yeah I do. Is Kitty helping?"

Tony held the phone to his chest. "Are you helping, Kit?"

"Guessing you need another mechanic?" Kitty smiled as Tony nodded. "Fuck yeah."

"Peter?" Tony asked the teen, who agreed. "They're both in. We'll start drawing up the plans when you get back." Tony confirmed on the phone before hanging up.

Steve turned to look at Kitty and asked, "You're a mechanic?"

"You two figure out the science shit and I'll help you build it."

"If you build it, they will come." Deadpool quoted.

"They?" Steve asked as he unpaused the movie.

"The nerds."

By the end of the first movie, Kitty was wrapped up in a blanket like a burrito with her legs curled up and her head pressed up to Logan's side, both still holding each other's hands. Peter was asleep, his head resting on Deadpool's shoulder with the latter's arm wrapped around the boy.

Steve changed the movie, enthralled with the series so far. They had even paused it to discuss the infamous Han Solo vs. Greedo scene, in which both Kitty and Deadpool agreed that Han Solo definitely shot first, or else his entire character arch would collapse. It was about that time that Logan told them both that they were giant nerds and he didn't think it really mattered. Kitty informed him that he was wrong and that there was no way in all of the galaxies that she would let him sully one of her favorite anti-heroes. He smirked, but remained quiet on the issue.

Steve decided that he liked Luke Skywalker (big shocker) and was rooting for him and Princess Leia to get together. The group silently agreed to not give away the plot twist so they could see his reaction. Everyone found it incredibly hilarious in the sixth movie when it was revealed that Leia was, in fact, Luke's twin sister. Steve's eyes widened and he looked at the others to see if they were really siblings or if it was a joke. Their laughter was so loud that it woke up Peter from his slumber.

Once the original three movies were over, Steve insisted they watch Rogue One so he could better understand A New Hope. Kitty didn't even make it twenty minutes in before passing out with her head resting on Logan's chest. She was still asleep by time the movie credits were rolling. Tony and Steve stood up to go to their room when Logan whispered, "Hey, what do I do?" He waved his free hand to Kitty, who looked innocent and content in sleep.

"You can wake her up," Tony shrugged. "If you're brave enough."

"I think Petey and I'll just crash here, if you don't mind." Deadpool nodded down to the slumbering Peter on him. Steve left the room and reemerged with a mountain of blankets and pillows and dumped them on the couch before him and Tony left.

When Kitty Vics woke up, she was snuggled up to Logan, who was still asleep. They had somehow ended up in a horizontal position with Logan's arm draped over her and a blanket covering them. Unearthing her arm, she rubbed her eyes with her hand, shivering slightly despite Logan's warm body pressed up against her. She glanced over and saw that Peter and Deadpool were tucked in with a blanket and a pillow, with the latter snoring lightly. Kitty decided that, no matter what time it was, it was too early to be awake. She pulled the blanket more securely around her and dozed back off, listening to Logan's heart beat.

"Happy New Year!" Deadpool beamed, walking into the living room with a pink apron on that said 'Please Kiss the Cook' and a spatula in his hands.

His cheerfulness was met with a chorus of groans and Kitty muttering, "Shut the fuck up."

"But I made pancakes, bacon, and coffee." Deadpool frowned.

Both Kitty and Peter's heads shot up at the sound of food, resembling hungry meerkats. "Chocolate chip?" Kitty asked hopefully

"How else do you make pancakes?" Deadpool joked, going back into the kitchen to resume the pancake making. Kitty and Peter looked at each other before leaping off the couch to follow Deadpool. He was flipping a stack of plain pancakes onto a plate when they entered the kitchen. Peter took the plate and sat down while Kitty grabbed two mugs and filled them with coffee, adjusting them to taste. She strolled over to the couch and carefully nudged Logan awake before handing him the cup and returning to the kitchen.

By the time Tony and Steve came down, all four were happily munching on half burnt bacon and fluffy pancakes. Steve walked in first and Kitty, Deadpool, and Peter all smiled and chorused, "Good morning, Charlie!"

Steve looked confused. "My name's not Charlie."

"Why does he get to be Charlie?" Tony asked, walking in the room behind him. "I'm the one that signs your paychecks."

The three looked at each other before turning to Tony and repeating, "Good morning, Charlie!"  
"Good morning, Angels." Tony replied with a smile.

"Your guy's food is over there." Deadpool said, his mouth full as he pointed to the counter with his fork.

"Is this another movie reference?" Steve asked the group with uncertainty as Tony loaded up a plate with food.

"It was first a TV show in the '70's, then they made two movies." Kitty explained. "The movies have Drew Barrymore, which makes them automatically better."

"So you like redheads, too?" Logan asked her.

Kitty took a sip of coffee and said, "Who doesn't?"

"We'll add it to the list," Tony assured her as he sat down with his breakfast. "Everyone deserves to see Lucy Liu in a leather skirt with a whip."

Kitty, Logan, Deadpool, and Peter all hummed in agreement.

"Hey, don't forget Demi Moore strutting around in her underwear with a fur coat and two gold pistols." Kitty reminded them. "That was sexy. And an excellent use of music."

Peter smiled and said, "The beach scene."

Everyone but Steve nodded and smiled.

"It's a good scene." Kitty agreed. "I say we watch both movies tonight."

"Do I have a choice?" Steve asked the group.

The common consensus was, "No."


	18. One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest

**One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest**

Bruce yawned as he poured himself a large cup of coffee. He tore open four packets of sugar and dumped them into the mug. He heard the ding of the elevator and walked out to the common room to see Logan strolling in. "Avengers is to Tower as X-Men is to Mansion." Bruce sassed, his mug clutched in his hands. "Which means you shouldn't be here."

Logan held up a piece of paper and said, "I was invited."

Bruce rolled his eyes and sat down in a chair at the table. Logan leaned against the wall and the two began a glaring contest. Neither looked away, even when the lift signalled the arrival of more people.

"Ahh shit, fam," Kitty nodded to the red paper in Logan's hands. "They got cha, too?"

"Why the hell am I here?" Logan asked.

Tony, Steve, Clint, and Natasha followed Kitty into the living room. "Psych eval time!" Natasha announced, prompting complaints to ring through the room.

Steve raised his hand up, cutting off the groans. "Now I know you guys don't like these-"

"Hate." Kitty corrected as she sat down in a chair.

Bruce added, "Vehemently dislike."

"Haven't had one of those since WWII." Logan said casually.

"Join the club," Steve nodded at Logan. "But since the Avengers are getting larger and more popular, they want to make sure we aren't too…"

"Mentally unstable?" Clint asked as he walked to the fridge and grabbed a soda.

"Dude," Kitty watched Clint pop the tab on the soda. "It's like, eight in the morning!"

"Did I not see you drink tequila with Bucky this early just two days ago?" Clint countered.

Steve looked at her in disappointment. "You two were what?!"

"Okay, to be fair," Kitty pointed a finger at Clint. "We'd been drinkin' since the night before."

Bruce turned the conversation back to the topic at hand. "So, the psych evals are to make sure we're not-"

Deadpool and Peter Parker, both clad in their suits, walked into the space, both carrying the summons. "Not fucking crazy?" Deadpool smiled and sat down next to Kitty.

"Homicidal?" Kitty asked as she kissed Deadpool's masked cheek.

"Suicidal." Bruce muttered under his breath.

"I was going to say unhappy," Steve said. "But yes, I suppose those work too."

Peter dropped his school bag on the coffee table, which loudly broke under the weight. Everyone's heads jerked to the sound.

"Whatthefuck, Petey?" Kitty whispered.

Peter looked down at the broken table and said, "I'll pay for that."

The Avengers exchanged expressions of disbelief and concern.

Natasha folded her arms on the table and set her chin on them. "Who else?"

"The full team." Tony sat across from her. "Vision, Wanda, Pietro, Sam, Scott."

"They're really going for it, huh?" Natasha took the soda can from Clint and took a sip before handing it back.

"It's a full audit." Steve confirmed.

Kitty made a scoffing noise. "They'll have fun with Vision." She looked over to the hallway and saw a dark haired man stumbling in.

"Bucky!" Steve smiled at his friend, who looked less than happy to be there.

He made a half-assed grunt as a form of greeting.

"Welcome to the Crazy Club, hot shot." Kitty said with a grin.

Bucky wandered over to where Kitty was and stared at Bruce, who was sitting next to her. "Move." When Bruce didn't move, Bucky growled, "Now." Bruce changed seats and Bucky plopped down next to Kitty. He then threw his crumpled up summons paper on the dining room table.

Kitty smiled at the floppy, messy haired mass sitting beside her. "Well, don't you look not quite awake."

He gave her a sleepy sort-of smile and looked around expectantly.

Pietro was next. He dashed into the room and leaned against the wall, barely out of breath considering how fast he had shown up. He took off his silver colored goggles and waved. "Hello!"

"You beat them," Clint said with a smile. "Didn't you?"

Pietro looked down at his feet and whispered, "I beat them."

Wanda and Vision strolled in next, despite Vision having the ability to zap them anywhere. Kitty had asked Wanda once why she and Vision walked/ran most of the time when flying and zapping was so much faster. Wanda replied that walking gave her a sense of normality, especially since she was dating a purple humanoid with a yellow gem in his forehead. Scott wandered into the room with a hangover and last was Sam Wilson, still slightly sweaty from his morning run.

"What time does the paper say?" Kitty asked as she reached for the crumpled up summons that Bucky had tossed. Bucky reached his much longer arm across the table and silently handed her the red ball.

"8:30AM." A female voice called from the hallway. All the heads in the room turned towards the doorway as a woman, flanked by five large men in suits, walked into the living room. She also wore a suit, vastly unremarkable and slightly unflattering to her damaged, box dyed blonde hair that was straightened into a ear length bob cut. She had a pair of glasses perched on her sharp nose and a briefcase in her hand and Kitty instantly didn't like her. "And I'm glad you're all here on time. It will make things go by so much smoother if we don't have to wait."

"Oh, but Theodore isn't here!" Kitty pointed out.

"Yeah," Natasha nodded, already piggybacking off Kitty. "We can't start without him." She leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms over her chest triumphantly.

Steve sighed softly and shook his head.

"Wait, we have another new Avenger?" Scott asked with a smile. "I'm no longer the new guy? Yes!"

"According to this," The woman had opened up her briefcase and now had a clipboard in her hands. "There is no Theodore." She looked up at Steve and Tony over her glasses. "So unless you lied to the federal government…" Her voice trailed off.

"No," Steve said quickly. "They're just having some fun." He shot both of them 'a look'. "Right, girls?"

"Yeah, yeah." Kitty muttered under her breath.

"Perfect. Well, my name is Dr. Nellis and here's how it's going to go. Each of you will be taken to a room and I will make rounds to come ask you questions and get to know you, then I'll move on to-"

"So," Kitty interrupted loudly. "To translate for the military vets, you're gonna put us each of us in an interrogation room and let us sit there for an undisclosed amount of time before coming in and pretending to be interested in us just to get information."

Dr. Nellis blinked at her in shock. She noticed that four other people in the room stiffened as they glanced around at each other. She felt the instant distrust and hostility in the room. Finally, the psychologist said, "I'm sorry you see it that way, Ms…?"

"Vics." Kitty informed her cooly.

"Ms. Vics." The psychologist made a note in one of the charts. "But I assure you, this is standard protocol."

Bucky silently got up from his seat and started for the door.

"Excuse me! Sir, excuse me!" Dr. Nellis looked taken aback that someone would just leave in the middle of her briefing. "Where are you going? Sir!"

"Bucky," Kitty's voice had a warning in it and he stopped immediately. "If we gotta sit through this shit, you gotta too. Get your ass over here."

Bucky silently walked back to his seat next to Kitty. He crossed his arms over his chest and glared at the psychologist through his long hair.

"Thank you, Ms. Vics." Dr. Nellis tried to smile at Kitty.

Kitty's Resting Bitch Face was most certainly in place when she said, "I didn't do it for you."

"What's up with the bodyguards?" Natasha asked with a nod to the five men standing behind the psychologist.

Dr. Nellis obviously had hoped no one noticed the large men, judging by her long pause. "They are here in case any of you experience...Discomfort and become-"

"In case you trigger us," Deadpool interrupted. "And we-"

"Burn the place down." Kitty said with a sinister smile.

Bruce quietly muttered, "Smash it into pieces."

Logan made eye contact with the largest of the bodyguards. "Slice and dice."

Peter smiled under his mask. "Call an army of spiders to destroy everything."

"Or an army of ants." Scott added with a sly grin.

"In case I put us all in a hypnotic state." Wanda murmured with her eyes cast down. "Again."

Dr. Nellis seemed to be losing her patience. "Yes." She huffed. "That. Well," She said with faux-brightness. "If there are no more questions," Dr. Nellis saw Kitty raise her hand and decided to ignore her. "We have set up the rooms on the first floor of this building."

The group seemed to collectively sigh as they forced themselves out of their chairs. Natasha, Clint, Kitty, and Bucky instantly banded together.

"Okay," Natasha whispered as they started to walk down the hallway. "You guys know the rules." She looked at Clint." You're a deaf mute and we," She nodded to Kitty. "Only speak Russian and Spanish."

"Nah," Kitty shook her head, her eyes focused on Dr. Nellis' back. "I'll bet she speaks Spanish."

Clint murmured, "Do you know enough Russian?"

Kitty shrugged. "I can make it work." Kitty noticed that Natasha had completely left out Bucky. "And you can just pick from your plethora of languages."

Bucky shrugged.

"I guess if nothing else, default on the silent treatment."

"Agreed."

"Agreed."

* * *

The psychologist walked into the first room on the right, where Bruce Banner sat at a table. She immediately took note of his demeanor: Hands resting on the table as he read a book, turning the pages faster than she would. Every once in a while, he would push his glasses up on his nose without taking his eyes off the book. She cleared her throat and shut the door, bringing Bruce from his reading.

"Am I interrupting?"

Bruce carefully folded the edge of the page and closed the book, his eyes locked on the psychologist. "Already read it before."

"Good." Dr. Nellis smiled brightly as she sat down across from Bruce. She set his file down on the table between them and Bruce noted that it was green. What a sick bitch. "Now, Bruce-"

"Dr. Banner." He corrected as he took his glasses off and cleaned them with his shirt.

"Yes." Her smile remained bright, but her eyes looked more strained. "Right. So, how are you today, Dr. Banner?"

He replaced his glasses and pushed them to their spot. "Tired."

"Because of the type of job you do here?" Dr. Nellis could work with this.

"Because you people woke me up for this."

Dr. Nellis could not work with this. "My apologies, but there's so many of you and so few psychologists that are equipped to handle-"

"Freaks?" Bruce asked bluntly.

Dr. Nellis pressed her lips together and opened up the file. She read for a minute, mouthing some of the words. Bruce was 134% positive it was for his benefit. Finally, she closed it and suggested, "Let's talk about Luke Giles."

"Why?" Bruce asked.

"A superfan tries to copy your...Abilities, then kills over five thousand people in that mall? Then he ends up dead in police custody. That's got to effect you."

"Affect." Bruce corrected.

* * *

"Hello, Mr. Barton." Dr. Nellis chirped the moment she entered the room. Clint Barton was sitting in his chair, fiddling with his hands. "Are you comfortable?" He just continued messing with his hands. "Do you need anything? Mr. Barton?" She felt frustrated at his lack of response, so she walked up and threw the file on the desk.

Clint jumped in his chair, his eyes wide and startled.

"Hey, hey," Dr. Nellis held out her hands to calm him. "It's alright."

Clint quickly made the ASL sign for, "What is going on?"

Dr. Nellis shook her head and said, "Sorry, I don't-"

Clint touched his ears and started signing again.

"Oh?" Dr. Nellis looked down at his file and exclaimed, "Oh! You're, uh, hard of hearing."

"i'M DeAf!" Clint yelled in a broken voice.

* * *

"So," Dr. Nellis sat down across from Logan, his file already open in her lap. "Your name is...Logan?"

He stared at her, his arms crossed over his chest.

"How old are you, Mr. Logan?"

"It's just Logan."

"Okay." Dr. Nellis smiled. "So, how old are you Logan?"

"Hundred seventy-something." He said dismissively.

The psychologist's eyebrows narrowed and she looked genuinely concerned. "You don't keep count?"

"Not really."

Dr. Nellis nodded and wrote down a note in his chart. "And why's that?"

Logan shrugged.

"Living that long must be exhausting."

"Not really." He lied.

"And having friends," She continued. "I mean, fifty years must seem like nothing to you, and being friends with people are altered but still age normally must be hard."

Logan shrugged again.

* * *

The psychologist did a double take at the purple figure sitting primly in the chair. She looked back down at her file before sitting down. "Hello...Vision."

"Hello, Dr. Leigh-Cassidy Nellis." Vision greeted in his calming voice.

"Oh, are you a fan?" The psychologist asked with an abashed smile.

"No."

Dr. Nellis' smile dropped. "Oh. Okay. How's your day going?"

"Fine." Vision leaned forward a bit and smiled kindly at the psychologist. "How is yours, Dr. Nellis? You appear stressed."

"You're my fourth interview and they haven't been as forthright as I'd hoped." Dr. Nellis admitted. "But we're here to talk about you-"

"How so?"

"Well, first off, what's up with the one word names?! Do you people not have real names? And I don't understand why-"

* * *

"Wanda Maximoff?"

"Yes?" The redhead was sitting at the table, her hands clasped together in front of her.

"Hello," Dr. Nellis smiled and sat across from her. "How are you doing today?"

"I am fine."

"Good, good," Dr. Nellis nodded. "Because some of the others are a little tired, since this has to begin so early in the morning."

"A lot of them prefer the night." Wanda nodded.

"And you don't?"

"No," Wanda smiled softly. "I love the mornings because there is so much light, I do not like to miss it."

"But you get the proper amount of sleep?"

Wanda paused and her smile faltered. "I figure that depends on your idea of proper sleep."

"A full eight to ten hours of sleep."

Wanda laughed. "I do not think I got that amount of sleep when I was a little girl."

Dr. Nellis conveyed a face of sympathy and Wanda couldn't tell if it was sincere or not. "Did you have a difficult childhood?"

"No," Wanda shook her head, then paused. "Not really. Pietro and I always watched out for each other and we were fine."

"Right." Dr. Nellis nodded and wrote something down on the paper on the clipboard. "And it says here that you are in a relationship with Vision?" She looked up at Wanda. "How is that going?"

Wanda hesitated. "It is fine."

* * *

"So, then these guys walk into my house, all covered in blood," Sam explained. "And say 'everyone we know is trying to kill us'-"

* * *

"Hello," The psychologist smiled widely at Bucky, trying to make him feel more comfortable. She sat down and looked at his file. "Mr. Barnes."

"Bucky." He said gruffly.

"My apologies, Bucky." Dr. Nellis noticed that he was obviously in distress and the time alone had not done him well. His wavy, shoulder length hair looked like he had been nervously running his hands through it and he was twitching ever so slightly. "Is there anything I could get you to make you more comfortable? Coffee," She thought about the caffeine and added, "Or tea, perhaps?"

He just sat there.

"I just want to talk, Bucky. Do you have anything you'd like to say?" She tried. "Anything you'd like to get off your chest?"

Bucky shook his head.

"Bucky, I only want to help-"

"I'll only talk if Steve or Kitty is here."

Although Dr. Nellis was glad he had spoken, she paused at his request. She pretended to leaf through her paperwork. "Steve Rogers and...Kitty Vics," She met his eyes. "Is that correct?"

Bucky nodded.

"Is there one you'd prefer?"

Bucky shook his head.

"I wish that we could bring in one of them." She said sympathetically. "But we are conducting these interviews individually-"

Bucky crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back in his chair. "Then I don't talk."

Dr. Nellis sighed softly and started tapping her nails on the wood desk. "That Kitty girl is really pretty…" She smiled. "Don't you think so?"

Bucky didn't move at all, not even a blink.

"Do you think she dyes her hair? It's just such a rich, beautiful color, like pure gold…" She leaned forward slightly. "I think she looks a lot like Steve Rogers." Dr. Nellis opened up the file again and skimmed it. "But...Hmm..It doesn't say anything about them being related-"

He defensively said, "She's Steve's daughter."

"Ahh…" Dr. Nellis nodded slowly, then smiled. "But not actually his daughter, right?"

No response.

"It says here that Steve was your best friend back in the forties." Dr. Nellis wrote down that Bucky seemed to tense up at mentioning his past. "Is he still your best friend?"

Bucky shrugged.

"But you wanted him or Kitty to come sit with you? Why not Stark, or Banner, or-" She pushed him a list of all of their names written on it. "Why not any of them?" She didn't really expect an answer from that one, but instead wanted him to think. "Is it because you're attracted to blondes?"

Bucky's eyebrows drew together. "What?"

"Well, as previously stated, both Kitty and Steve have blonde hair and blue eyes, both very good looking. And everyone is aware that Tony Stark and Steve Rogers are in a relationship, which leads me to believe that you are interested in Kitty because she reminds you of Steve-"

"Shut up." Bucky growled.

"Okay." Dr. Nellis made another note in her file. "Then let's talk about your arm."

Bucky narrowed his eyes at the woman and asked, "What about it?"

"Well, it's metal." The psychologist pointed out. "Must be hard to get dates, having to explain it and them waking up and seeing that and then there's the simple, everyday tasks-"

"The interrogation is over."

"It's not an interrogation." Dr. Nellis reminded him softly.

"Over."

The psychologist sighed and gathered her things before leaving.

* * *

"Yeah," Scott shrugged. "I just got off house arrest, why do you ask?"

* * *

Tony shrugged. "I should be easy, my life is an open book."

"I don't read gossip tabloids." Dr. Nellis said dismissively as she got out Tony's file and prepared for the interview. "This is mainly to check and see how you are doing and how you handle the stress of the job. Do you agree that your job is very stressful?"

"I mean, yeah, I guess."

"And it must be frustrating for you to have so much going on, Stark Industries and the Avengers and backing it all up financially."

"Not really."

"How about having to pay people to be your friends?"

* * *

"Ms. Vics." Dr. Nellis already knew she didn't like Kitty. Just from her file, she was unimpressed and mildly horrified, but this was her job and she was going to do it. Not that she thought Kitty would talk, but she had to spend at least five minutes in there. She set her timer. "How are you today?"

Kitty just sat there with a smirk on her face and her feet up on the desk.

"I think it's a little chilly outside." Dr. Nellis said.

Kitty remained as still as a statue.

"Might rain." She trained. "Do you like rain, Ms. Vics?"

1:10 seconds

"Are you seeing anyone?"

"You're not my type." Kitty said with a bored expression.

"Right." Dr. Nellis sighed.

1:23 seconds

"I was talking to Bucky," Dr. Nellis was hoping that mentioning Bucky would stir her, but she was disappointed. "He wanted you in the room with him."

Kitty shrugged in a way that conveyed, "And? How is that my problem?"

"He got upset when I said that you couldn't be in there. Even become aggressive."

"We're all aggressive." Kitty reported in a deadpan tone.

"I'm just here to make sure you are capable of doing your job without hurting yourself or your teammates."

2:15 seconds

"Ms. Vics, I want to help you-"

Kitty scoffed.

The psychologist opened up the blue file on the table and read in silence.

3:29 seconds

"So, it says here that you were blown up." She said brightly.

Kitty stiffened and held her breath.

"Having any nightmares from that?" Dr. Nellis prompted. "Any PTSD, maybe some insomnia from it?"

She seemed to have regained her grounding and appeared more relaxed and comfortable. "Nope."

"So you're just," The psychologist shrugged. "Fine?"

Kitty stared at her with a smirk on her face.

"See, I don't think you are." Dr. Nellis pushed Kitty's file to her. "I think you've got PTSD from the bombing, from your throat being slit," She tapped the paper, hoping to get Kitty to look at the file. She felt herself growing frustrated at Kitty's lack of response. "Yes that's in the file, too. Perhaps trauma from previous sexual assaults-"

Kitty's face remained calm and her voice steady as she said, "I suggest you leave before I rip your fucking heart right out of your chest."

Dr. Nellis immediately regretted her words. She had been trying to stay calm and professional, but something about Kitty Vics set her on edge. "I apologize-"

"If you don't leave right now," Kitty growled and leaned forward in her chair. "I will kill you."

The psychologist quietly left the room, the file tucked up under her arm. She pressed her back to the wall and removed her glasses so she could rub her eyes. She avoided eye contact with her bodyguards as she fished out her list to see who was next.

* * *

"Hello...Spiderman?"

"Hey!" Peter said from behind his mask.

Dr. Nellis looked up at the ceiling, where Peter had webbed himself to the corner of the room. "Would you, uh, mind coming down here? So we could talk?"

"Sure!" Peter flipped himself out of the web and down into the chair.

"Thank you." Dr. Nellis sat down across from him and smiled. "Your name is Spiderman?"

"Yes, well, no not really." Spiderman admitted. "But I keep my identity a secret."

"And why is that?"

"Well, some people don't like us and I don't want to risk my friends."

"That's a good reason." The psychologist agreed. "Does it bother you that some people don't appreciate the work you do?"

"No," He shook his masked head. "I understand that some people are just afraid of us and don't understand who and what we are."

"That's a very understanding way of looking at it."

* * *

"Natasha Romanoff, correct?" Dr. Nellis asked as she walked into the room.

"Sometimes."

* * *

Dr. Nellis hastily walked up to the dining room table where Steve and Tony sat. "I can't do my job unless these people cooperate with me! Those three-" She jerked her thumb back towards the elevator.

"Kitty," Tony sighed.

Steve added, "Natasha."

"And Logan." Tony finished.

"Yes!" Dr. Nellis exclaimed. "They're just sitting there, deflecting everything I ask them! And the one really freaks me out-"

"Deadpool." Steve said knowingly.

"No," Dr. Nellis shook her head. "Kitty Vics."

"Kitty?" Tony said with shock. He looked at Steve, who looked equally surprised. "Why?"

"I don't know," She rubbed her forehead. "She looks at me like she knows something I don't."

"Yeah," Steve nodded. "That sounds like her."

"And the schizophrenic in the suit exposed himself to me while yelling about pudding!" Dr. Nellis complained.

"They warned you about him, right?" Steve asked.

"Yes," Dr. Nellis begrudgingly admitted. "But I thought they were exaggerating!"

"Overall, how was it?" Steve asked.

"Fail," The psychologist threw a file on the table. "Fail." Another file hit the desk. "Fail, failed miserably, depressingly failed, fail, and a danger not only to this team, but to society in general."

"Deadpool really isn't that bad-" Tony tried.

"I'm not talking about Deadpool. I'm talking about Bucky Barnes." The psychologist noticed that Steve appeared very shocked at this. "He's incredibly unstable and given his enhancements, I cannot recommend him for this team."

"Dr. Nellis," Steve shook his head. "Surely you're mistaken."

"Mr. Rogers, people like him snap in the middle of the night and strangle their entire family." Dr. Nellis shuffled her files together and set them in her briefcase. "I'll let everyone else pass, though, because you all seem to work together. I don't know how, but you do. But I have to report Barnes as ineligible to be an Avenger."

"Can he redo it?" Steve asked quietly.

Dr. Nellis shook her head. "It won't make a difference. He is entirely too dependent on other people and refused to let me finish interviewing him without another person there."

"What's the harm in letting someone be there with him as long as they don't speak?"

"Because!" Dr. Nellis argued. "The only two people he wants in there are two Alpha personalities and it's impossible to get a clear read on him with other people there."

"Who did he want?" Tony asked.

The psychologist paused. "I can't tell you that." She took her glasses off and cleaned the lenses with the edge of her blouse. "Would you please tell Ms. Vics that I am truly sorry for what I said."


	19. Which One Can I Have Not Bucky? Okay,

**Which One Can I Have?...Not Bucky? Okay, I Want Bucky**

"So, uh, Steve…" Kitty leaned against the wall and crossed her arms over her chest. He was sitting at the table, reading a paper newspaper. How adorable. "You were probably tired of girls falling over Bucky and not you…."

"Hmm?" He hummed.

"Back in the thirties." Kitty prompted. "Bucky having so many girlfriends. Probably got real tired of it."

Steve shrugged. "Just how it was."

Kitty looked down and picked at her nail in an attempt to appear uninterested. "Did it ever ruin any of your friendships?"

"No," He set down his newspaper and shook his head. "Bucky and I stayed-"

"I mean," Kitty interrupted. "Did he ever date a girl you were close friends with?"

"There were a couple from school. Well, we weren't close friends," Steve explained. "But a few would talk to me sometimes in the hallway."

She softly whispered, "And did you stay friends with them?"

A slow realization crossed Steve's face. "No, not really. He had a habit of breaking hearts when he got bored and I always got him in the divorce." He joked.

Kitty smiled weakly. "Yeah."

"Why do you ask?"

"Just curious." Kitty shrugged. "Don't hear a lot from when you were pre-serum."

Steve tilted his head to the side and said, "Pretty pointed question for curiosity."

"I'm worried that if Peter and Deadpool break up for whatever reason, I'll have to choose." Kitty lied flawlessly. "And I don't wanna choose a side."

"It just depends on the reason," Steve bought the lie. Damn, she was good. "Like I said, Bucky would get bored or see someone he'd want more and the girls would get hurt every time."

"Guess no one in town learned, huh?" Kitty felt a sharp pain in her chest and had to sit down. Her breathing became slightly ragged and she had to blink away tears.

"They'd lineup for it, each one thinking that they would be the exception. But I'm sure Peter and Deadpool will be fine." Steve assured her.

"Yeah." Kitty smiled tightly and nodded. "Yeah, they will."

Tony walked in and Kitty immediately changed the subject. "Toooooooony!"

"Kiiiiiiiiiiiitttttty." Tony rebutted the whine.

"The internet is being slooooow."

Tony paused and his eyebrows knitted together. "It shouldn't be." He whipped out his cellphone. "It should be running at 1,000 Mbps download speed."

"Okay, well my PS4 said it was running at 20 Mbps and it was kicking Deadpool and I from For Honor."

"Really?" Tony was already on his phone. "Hello, yeah, so why am I paying for 1,000 Mbps-"


	20. People Magazine's Top 100 Sexiest People

**People Magazine's Top 100 Sexiest People**

**Violent_Vixen**: 'hey guys, did you see People's 100 sexiest people?'

_Iron_Man: _'…#33'

Black_Widow: 'Losing your touch? Asking from the position of number twenty-nine.'

_Iron_Man:_ 'No, it just wouldn't be fair to be in the top twenty every year'

**Merc_With_A_Mouth**: 'I dont think they got the pics Petey took'

**Merc_With_A_Mouth**: 'I didnt make list'

**Merc_With_A_Mouth**: ' :'((((('

**Violent_Vixen:** 'sorry Sarge. wanna go down to their office and bring it to their attention?'

_Iron_Man: _'No.'

**Merc_With_A_Mouth****:** 'awh man HAWKEYE made it?!'

Hawkeye: 'Fuck yeah, I did.'

Black_Widow: 'You're number ninety-nine."

Hawkeye: 'Still made it."

**_Logan_**: 'I didn't make it'

Black_Widow: 'Hugh Jackman did.'

-**Violent_Vixen **has changed their name to: **Violent_Vixen_6-**

Hawkeye: '6?!'

_Iron_Man_: 'She beat out Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Lawrence.'

**_Logan_**: 'We're all very proud.'

**Merc_With_A_Mouth: **'TWO STARKS IN TOP 100 AND I DIDN'T MAKE IT!'

**Violent_Vixen_6:** 'one could argue three. your boy toy as Spidey made it to 25.'

-Dr. Banner is online-

-Dr. Banner has turned off notifications-

-Dr. Banner is offline-

_Captain_America:_ 'Let's keep the chat work related ONLY'

_Captain_America_: '#8.'

-_Captain_America_ is offline-


	21. Invasion Of The Smart Kids

**Invasion Of The Smart Kids **

"Hey, Tony?" Kitty stuck her head into the garage, where Tony was fixing up one of his cars. "I think we're being invaded."

He slid out from under the car and looked at her with confusion. "What?"

She nodded to the elevator and they both went down to the public level of the Tower. In the lobby were about seven or eight kids, ages ranging from ten to seventeen, all on laptops and with stacks of papers in front of them.

"Can I help you?" Tony asked loudly.

Every single one of the kids looked up at him with shock and fear. They stayed silent as Tony walked up to one of the paralayzed children, who had a book in his lap and a pencil in his hand. "Is that homework?" He asked. "Physics?"

The kid nodded.

"Number ten is wrong." Tony pointed to it. "Your free space permittivity should be 8.85 pF/m, not 8.58. Switch them around."

The kid's mouth formed an 'o' and he nodded as he started erasing furiously.

"1. How old are you, twelve?" Kitty asked, holding up a finger, then two. "2. Why are you doing it here?"

"The wifi is really good here." One of the teenagers whispered.

Tony's eyebrows drew together. "Don't you have wifi wherever you came from?"

"No." The teenager answered for everyone as they rest just shook their heads. Kitty noticed that most of them had very old, obviously secondhand laptops and their backpacks were torn and frayed. "And Starbucks said we each had to buy something to use their wifi."

Tony walked around to the teenager's computer and saw that it was on the Avengers wifi system, the one that was only supposed to be accessible to the Avengers living in the Tower. "How'd you get past my firewall?" Tony asked.

The youngest person in the room, a small girl with braids in her hair, raised her hand. "I broke your password using an algorithm I wrote."

Another said, "And I boosted the strength so it didn't look like we were using it."

"That's why the internet was so slow for a few hours, then back to normal." Kitty marveled.

Tony stared at the students for a minute, taking in the faces of each and every one of them. "How long have you been doing this?"

"A while." Someone admitted.

Tony shook his head and he and Kitty left the lobby in silence.

The next day, all of the kids in the group were hesitant to go back to the Tower. Someone had looked it up and technically, Tony Stark could have them arrested for trespassing and stealing and something else that nobody caught the name of but the charge wasn't good. Still, they needed the internet so they all marched in together with the mindset of 'if they arrest one, they arrest us all'. The protest-like vibe was stunted, however, when they saw the blonde girl from yesterday standing there, waiting. She was in her Avengers suit and had multiple shopping bags at her feet, but the kids only noticed the gun on her hip.

The little girl who broke the firewall widened her eyes and her lip quivered. She burst into tears, shocking Kitty.

"Hey, hey," Kitty held her hands out in what she hoped was a comforting way. "Don't worry, you aren't in trouble."

"It's the gun." One of the other kids explained as she held the little girl in a hug. "Ebony's brother's just died because of a drive by."

Kitty immediately took the gun holster off and handed it to Pepper, who put it under her desk, out of sight. "Look, look," Kitty crouched down to the girl's level and opened her hands. "No gun. It's okay, you aren't in trouble and there's no gun." She tried, but the girl was still crying inconsolably. Kitty got on her knees and started rustling through one of the many bags. Finally, she pulled out a brand new, tags-attached pink backpack. "Do you like this? Would you like this?"

The little girl shook her head.

"Okay," Kitty said distractively as she began searching through another bag. "Uh…"

"She likes yellow." The older girl mouthed to Kitty.

Kitty smiled and located a bright yellow backpack. "How about this?"

Ebony peeked at Kitty and the bag. Still sniffling, she grabbed for the backpack and snatched it from Kitty's hands. She held it to her chest and seemed to brighten a little.

"Better?" Kitty asked.

Ebony shrugged.

"Well, there's some school supplies in there, I didn't know what y'all would need-"

"Us?" The seventeen year old asked. He looked around at the rest of the group. "All of us?"

"Yeah, everything in the bags." Kitty pointed to the piles of shopping bags.

He looked apprehensive, like he was waiting for the ball to drop. "And we don't have to pay for it or-"

"No." Kitty shook her head. "It's 100% free and yours to keep, no strings. Everyone gets one-"

The kids descended on the bags, nearly ripping one in half. Meanwhile, Bucky came from downstairs, also geared up for a fight. He paused when he saw the kids, but Kitty smiled encouragingly and waved him forward.

Bucky cautiously approached. "Stark says we need to go-"

"He'll be fine." Kitty waved her hand dismissively.

"He seemed really urgent-"

"In a minute." She whispered, still watching the kids as they marveled over their new stuff. "Look how happy they look!"

Bucky was too busy watching Kitty's smile to notice the children.

"No way!" One of the teenagers said. "This is a MSI laptop!"

"Yeah," Kitty glanced at Bucky, who quickly looked away so she didn't catch him staring. "I, uh, didn't know what you needed or what was best and that's what everyone suggested-"

The kid promptly turned around and hugged Kitty. "Thank you!"

"Oh," Kitty immediately stiffened and looked uncomfortable. "No, no that's not necessary-"

Every single kid in the group started hugging Kitty, forming a barrier of children. Bucky laughed and snapped a picture of Kitty, who still looked very uncomfortable. They all let go of her and started to sit in the chairs to play with their new stuff.

"Uh, you guys can't be out here though." Kitty said. "It's for business meetings and a lot of adult stuff."

The kids deflated instantly.

"So, Tony and I built you guys your own study nook." She led the parade of kids to what looked like a sitting room with clear walls and a clear door. "It's soundproof for studying, there's snacks, drinks in the fridge," Kitty nodded to the refrigerator. "Comfy chairs for everyone and you guys have your own wifi and passcode is on the wall over there. If you guys need anything, tell Pepper over there," She pointed to the redhead in the lobby. "And Pepper will tell me or Tony and we'll get it all taken care of."

Chorus' of 'thank you's rang through the room and everyone dispersed to explore the new environment. Kitty and Bucky walked out of the study nook and headed for the elevator.

"The glass is bulletproof, so the kids should be pretty safe in there-" Kitty stopped when she felt something tugging at her leg and she looked down to see one of the kids.

"Can I keep this here?" The kid held up the laptop.

Kitty's eyebrows drew together. "You don't want to take it home?"

"If I take it home," The kid looked down at their beat up sneakers. "My mom will sell it."

"Why would she sell it?"

The kid shrugged.

Kitty looked at Bucky, then over at Pepper, then back to the kid. "How about, when you're ready to go home, you give the laptop to Pepper," She pointed to the redhead, who waved. "And she'll keep it safe for you."

"Okay." The kid said hesitantly.

"I gotta go but Pepper will take care of anything you kids need."


	22. It Could Happen To You

**It Could Happen To You**

Kitty Vics slid down onto the barstool at a small diner, a soft sigh slipping from her bloody lip. She rubbed her forehead and watched as a young brunette in a waitress uniform walked over. She had a pen and paper in her hand and a smile on her face as she walked over to Kitty.

"Can I get you anything, hun?" She asked.

Kitty rubbed her eyes. "Got any coffee?"

The waitress nodded to the coffee maker and said, "This pot's old." She poured out the stale coffee. "I'll make you a new one."

"Oh, you don't have to."

"It's okay, really." The waitress assured her as she started measuring out coffee grounds.

"So…" Kitty rested her chin on her forearms. "How's your day going? Or night-" She glanced at the window, which was pitch dark out. "I guess it's night now."

"Pretty good," The waitress replied in a chipper tone as she grabbed a mug and poured Kitty a new cup of coffee. "How about you?"

Kitty ripped open a package of sugar and dumped it into her coffee before stirring it with a spoon. She looked up and noticed that the waitress had dark circles around her eyes and her hair was haphazardly pulled into a ponytail. "You don't look like your day is going pretty good." Kitty noted before taking a sip of coffee.

The waitress visibly deflated but tried to appear positive. "I'm just tired."

"Me too." Kitty smiled kindly, making the cut on her face ripple. "Name's Kitty."

"Ellie."

"So Ellie," Kitty sat up straighter and took another drink. "Why's your day shitty?"

The waitress looked around at the empty diner before leaning in and divoulding, "I've been here for ten hours and have gotten screamed at three times, all for twelve dollars in tips."

"When do you get off?" Kitty asked.

Ellie's pressed her lips together. "Two hours."

"Twelve hours." Kitty shook her head. "Shiiit."

"And I _still_ can't pay my rent." Ellie added. A jingle cut through the air and the waitress fumbled for her cell phone. "Do you-"

"Nah, go ahead."

Ellie mouthed, "Thank you." And walked over to a corner, whispering into her phone. After a minute, she walked back over, a grim loom on her tired face.

"Everyone okay?" Kitty asked with raised eyebrows.

"My neighbor says my little girl has a fever." Ellie readjusted her apron and tightened her hairband.

"You got someone to cover you so you can go home?"

Ellie shook her head as Kitty's cell phone rang.

"You mind?" Kitty asked.

"Of course not."

She raised the phone to her ear and listened intently. "Yeah? Uh, huh...On my way." Kitty hung up and smiled at Ellie. "Off to save the world." She finished off her coffee and stood up. "Everything'll turn out okay, Ellie."

"I hope so." The waitress smiled tightly.

Kitty fished out a wad of cash from her suit and dropped it on the table. "Keep the change, cher." She walked out of the diner, her pocket fourteen hundred dollars lighter.


	23. Happy Birthday, Mr Barnes

**Happy Birthday, Mr. Barnes**

Kitty zipped up her blue leather jacket and shoved her hands in the pockets. She was fluuuuuuu-sh with caaaaaaaaaaa-aaash and had a real craving for tequila with a side of carne asada fries. She strolled through the Tower's lobby and waved to the security camera before stepping out into the chilly New York night.

"Heyyyyyy!"

Kitty glanced down at the person sitting on the ground with his back pressed to the side of the building.

"I," The man pointed to the Tower door and smiled. "I couldn't get in! Stark, he must've deacti-something my code because," He looked at the keycard reader with sudden but immense sadness. "It doesn't work now. Hadn't worked since that eval thing with that damn doctor."

"Bucky, are you drunk?" Kitty didn't even know why she had asked; He was obviously quite pissed. His cheeks were rosy pink and he had a white and blue bottle clutched in his hands.

Bucky's dark eyebrows drew together as he considered this. Then he looked up at her with a smile as he pinched his forefinger and thumb together. "Little bit, little Kit-Kat."

Kitty mirrored his grin and held out her hand. "Come on." She helped him up and took the bottle from his grasp. "Really? Pinnacle Vodka? What'd this cost ya, two bucks?"

He flung his arm around her shoulders and cheered, "$13.99 a bottle! God bless America!"

"Oh, you poor sad being."

"Hey!" His arm slid off her and tried to face her, despite looking very unstable on his feet. Bucky crossed his arms over his chest and stuck out his bottom lip. "I'm not a poor being!"

"Yeah," Kitty laughed and messed up his hair with her hand. "Yeah, you are. Come on, let's get you inside-"

"No!" He stumbled backwards but managed to catch himself. "No! The party's not over!"

"Pretty sure it is, hot shot." Kitty linked her arm with his and attempted to steer him towards the Tower.

Bucky pressed his face to Kitty's neck so his lips were almost touching her faded throat scar. He felt her shiver slightly as he murmured, "Let's go out, Sunshine."

"We're already out, Bucky." Kitty kept her voice down to a whisper because talking any louder than that felt like it might shatter the moment...If that's what this was. "And now we're gonna go back in."

Bucky groaned loudly, throwing his head back dramatically with the action. "It's my birthday and I'll drink if I want to."

Kitty paused and looked up at him. "It's your birthday?"

"Mmmmhm." Bucky smiled at her with sleepy eyes. His eyes flicked down to her lips and he quietly asked, "Does that mean I get a birthday kiss?"

Kitty smiled before she kissed his cheek. "Come on." They started walking away from the Tower and down the street.

"Where're we going?"

Kitty threw her arm around his shoulder and felt his hand on her waist. "Imma buy us a round, birthday boy."

* * *

What woke Kitty up was the headache. She didn't normally get hangovers, but she also drank more drinks than she should have last night...And this morning. Very long morning. Sebastián had kept the bar open a few hours longer, since she was such a loyal customer. Taking in the extreme headache and the bruise on her hand from trying to arm wrestle a frat boy, that was a very very bad idea. She won the arm wrestling contest though. She moaned a little and she buried her face further into the pillow. _What a warm pillow_, she thought as she ran her thumb over the pillow. _Very smooth, little more solid than I usually like-Wait a second_-

Her head shot up and she was stunned to see that her pillow was a shirtless, unconscious Bucky Barnes. His head was off to the side, his hair partially flopped over his face, and he was snoring. Kitty moved the blanket wrapped around her body and breathed a sigh of relief: She was still fully clothed, socks and everything. Curious, she pulled the edge of the comforter up and peered under at Bucky. Although shirtless, he was still wearing jeans. _And what good genes they are_.

_No sex. _Kitty took a deep breath and laid her head back down on his chest. _Okay, good. That's good. Remember rule #26. No fucking your parent's friends, no matter how pretty you think they are. And how many times you've thought about-No. Bad Kitty. Don't think of Naked Bucky. Nothing good could come from Naked Bucky. He'll just break your heart, remember? You're nothing special, he'll just do what Bruce did and you'll be devastated. And it'll ruin your relationship with Steve, then you'd have to quit being an Avenger. And think of what that would do to Tony and Steve's relationship if that caused you to leave. It's not worth it. He is not _worth_ it._

Bucky yawned and Kitty lay there, absolutely petrified. He pushed aside some of the hair on his face and rubbed his eyes with his hand. He ran his metal hand up and down Kitty's back. She idly wondered if he knew it was under her shirt, then decided that it probably didn't matter. Because you don't fuck your parent's best friends. Sadly.

They lay there for a few minutes, Bucky rubbing Kitty's back as she waited for him to realize what was going on. Suddenly, Bucky's eyes snapped open and he looked down at Kitty, then his naked chest, then to his hand on her back. "I'm shirtless."

Kitty smiled and removed his hand from under her shirt. "And?"

"And it's indecent." He looked aghast as Kitty rolled off his chest and sat crisscross beside him. "We're not married, in a bed together sleeping and I'm shirtless."

"Awh, J.D.," Kitty gently touched his cheek. "Your forties are showing." She straightened up and yawned. "Besides, weren't you kinda slutty back then?"

"I didn't care about _them_." He grumbled, almost inaudibly.

"I'm pretty sure your shirts over there," Kitty pointed at the corner of the room. "Because you threw up last night."

Bucky glanced over at the doorway and saw his shirt on the floor. He blushed from embarrassment and looked down. "Oh."

"Yeah, if I remember correctly," Kitty leaned back and put her head on the pillow next to Bucky. "It's because two guys challenged us to a drinking contest."

Bucky turned onto his side to face her. "Did we win?"

"Fuck yeah, we did." She laughed and high fived him.

He watched her smile, the way her eyes would light up with the action. Then he asked, "Wait, why'd you call me J.D.?"

"Ya know, James Dean. From last night?"

"Who?"

"Nevermind. We also stuck a bunch of magnets on your arm."

"What?" Bucky moved his metal arm and saw that there were a wide variety of magnets sticking to it; A strawberry, a Captain America magnet, a little American flag, a Hello Kitty wearing a pink tiara, a Princess Peach, a state outline of Louisiana… "Why?"

"You thought it was funny." Kitty giggled. "You were _very_ drunk."

"So were you, if I remember correctly." He pointed out.

"Yeah, I try not to get _quite_ that drunk since I have a habit of doing questionable things and people but ey," She shrugged and got out of the bed. "It was a special day."

Bucky waited a minute, trying to debate if he wanted to bring up the thing throbbing in the back of his head, right beside the hangover headache. "So, last night...When you were a few drinks in...I remember you, um...You said something about the scar on my eyebrow."

Kitty, who had been running the brush she found on the nightstand through her hair, paused mid-brush. "I asked you how you got it, nothing else."

"No," Bucky shook his head, his face appearing slightly confused. "No, you said something about me being hit too hard with a gun."

Kitty laughed, suddenly more relaxed. "Isn't that how you got it? Wilson's got the same one from our Special Forces days. It looks just like his, so I figured that's how you got it."

"Oh." Bucky nodded slowly. He watched her carefully brush her hair like it was the most interesting thing in the world. "You know, it's funny because I don't remember how I got it. I think it was one of the things they took from me."

Kitty stopped brushing her hair and looked him in the eyes. "I'm so sorry, hotshot."

"Why?" Bucky asked, honestly just curious.

"Because all those memories," Kitty sat down next to him and lightly rubbed his shoulder. "It must hurt bein' gone, taken, like that."

He shrugged. "I don't really know what I'm missing. Sometimes I get a feeling, like deja vu, and I see a person and it feels like I know them."

"At least some of them are coming back." Kitty smiled encouragingly. "That's gotta make things a little easier."

"Deadpool's voice was one of them, sometimes when he'd say certain words, it'd be like I'd heard them before...Like, one day, he had said something like 'A bullet in the head. Painless and they'll never see it' and I _swear_," He insisted. "I swear I'd heard him say that before but I hadn't ever met him. And I asked him and he got kinda weird and told me to leave. It was rather rude."

"He gets funny when asked about those kinda things." Kitty said weakly. "I think it's got to do with what we did-"

"And you. I felt like I knew you when I first met you," He gently touched her hair and trailed his thumb over her cheek. "You seemed so familiar, like I had met you before-"

"I should go." Kitty stood up abruptly, leaving Bucky on the bed. "My shift starts at eight."

"I can take you out to breakfast," Bucky got to his feet and looked at the clock beside the bed. "Or to dinner, since it's now dinner time-"

"No, I uh," Kitty started putting her shoes on. "I'm not that hungry and I should go-"

"Oh, okay." The room stayed silent as Kitty searched for her jacket. "Did I, um, did I say something wrong?" He asked, his eyebrows drawn together.

Kitty stopped searching and turned around to look at him. Bucky looked sad and confused and Kitty felt awful. "No, of course not. I just, uh, Tony and Steve don't know where I am and I try to check in with them-"

"Okay. I understand." Bucky nodded and he opened the door for Kitty to leave. "Well, I'm always here if you need someone to talk to, or uh, drink with." He added.

"Thank you." Kitty smiled and waved before leaving the apartment. She hailed a taxi and told him the address before relaxing in the seat. A tear slipped from her eye and she quickly wiped it away. She pulled out her cellphone and spoke into it, "Wilson, we have a problem." She looked over her shoulder, paranoid. "I think he might be remembering us."

"What do you mean?"

"A bullet in the head." She quoted Deadpool. "Painless, he'll never see it.'"

"Shit." Deadpool swore loudly through the phone. "Shit, shit, shit I knew I shouldn't have said that."

"I know." Kitty agreed. "He remembers that, but I don't think he knows anything else. Just remembers the words, the way you said it."

"What do you want to do about it?"

Kitty paused. "Just play it cautiously?" She suggested. "Act dumb?"

"You know that the more time you spend near him, the more likely he will be to remember everything. Are you prepared for that?"

Kitty sighed. "No." She admitted quietly.

"Let's just tell him, Kitty. Get it over with, rip off the fucking bandaid."

"No." Kitty said firmly.

"Give me a good reason why not."

"Because Sarge…" Kitty sighed and whispered, "I love him."

Bucky walked back over to his bed and flopped down on it. He grabbed his phone off the stand to check his messages and saw that the background of his phone had been changed. Rather than the usual plain blue picture, staring back at him was a picture of him and Kitty from last night. Kitty had her hand tangled in Bucky's hair as she planted a kiss on his check. Bucky had very rosy cheeks and a huge grin as he smiled for the selfie. He hugged the pillow to his chest and closed his eyes, alone with the picture burning in his mind. Just before he dozed off, he could hear Kitty say,_ "I said no, Wilson. And that goes for all y'all. Leave him alone...We'll see what the Big Guys want us to do with him…" _Her voice lowered and he could see her face, dimly lit, deliberately avoiding his eyes. "_You should go. Ain't got a lot of time and you need to be as far away as possible."_ Bucky felt a sharp pain where his eyebrow scar was before he was dragged into sleep.


	24. It's For Charity, Right?

**Its For Charity, Right?**

-_Inspired by_ **imaginemcu's** _tumblr post_-

"And we do that instead of a party." Pepper finished her presentation and waited for her audience's reaction.

"Brilliant!" Kitty clapped. "Absolutely brilliant!"

"Are we talking fully nude?" Wanda asked with uncertainty.

"Well, they'll be covered, uh, down there." Pepper motioned to her skirt. "But everywhere else, yes. They'll be nude."

"I really like it." Kitty smiled. "But we definitely need Bucky in on it. And Logan."

"And Thor." Wanda added. "And Sam Wilson."

"And of course, Wilson #1." Kitty insisted. "Deadpool's gonna want in on it, too. Maybe Scotty?"

"We'll have to ask each one."

* * *

"You got his card?" Kitty asked Pepper.

She held up a bright blue credit card bearing the name 'Stark'. "Okay, for only ten dollars extra, we can put lettering on the back."

"Ten total or ten each?" Natasha asked.

"Uh…" Pepper scrolled down before saying, "Each."

"Eh, it's Tony's card," Kitty shrugged. "Why not."

In a singsong voice, Natasha said, "Extra dollar for sparkly cursive!"

"Okay, so to review the order...Light fluffy blue robes with "Avengers Calender Shoot" in sparkly cursive and each has their initials embroidered on the front pocket." Pepper looked up from the computer. "Everything sound good?"

"Sounds great." Kitty smiled and handed over the card. "Charge it."

* * *

"Hey, Bucky," Kitty greeted as the dark haired man strolled into the Tower's living room. She followed him to the couch and sat down next to him. "So, how would you feel about being in a calendar for charity?"

Bucky shrugged.

"You'll be naked." She warned him. "I mean, your bits and pieces will be covered, but you'll be naked on set."

Bucky shrugged again. Typical

"Natasha, Wanda, Pepper, and I were planning on being there for most of the photos but we don't have to be if you don't want." Kitty said quickly. "I can convince them to not and I don't-"

Bucky looked her dead in the eyes and shrugged. Its okay for him to be naked in the same room, but not sleep in the same bed? Boys are weird.

* * *

"Okay," Seth, the photographer for this endeavor, readjusted the camera strap around his neck and addressed the large amount of heros in front of him. "The first picture, the cover for the calendar, will be everyone in their suits. Feel free to lean on each other, look comfortable."

From left to right, Tony, Steve, and Clint were all holding up Scott, who was sideways with one hand on his hip and the other propping up his cheek. Next to Clint was Bucky, who was smiling up at Kitty. She was sitting on Natasha's shoulders with her arms up over her head and a grin on her face. Logan was leaning against the wall, his arms crossed over his chest and a smirk. Vision was standing next to Logan. He looked very very confused on what was going on as Wanda kissed his cheek. Rhodey and Sam had their arms around each others neck, laughing at Deadpool, who was licking Peter's Spiderman mask. Bruce had been dragged from his room and had a stethoscope pressed to Deadpool's chest. All four girls had begged Bruce to be in the shoot, but he politely declined, saying no one would want to see him naked. Thor stood proudly, his hammer raised.

Seth had decided to put a 'NSFW' sticker on the front of each calendar.

* * *

**Inside Cover-**

The girls were remaking a magazine cover from years ago. Kitty was in the middle of a bed with a blood red silk sheet pulled just high enough to cover her chest so it wasn't completely indecent. On the left of her, Natasha lay on her side with her arm holding the blonde's waist. Wanda was on the right with her body pressed to Kitty, her hand touching her cheek and her lips near her neck. Kitty wore a satisfied, smug expression for the camera. Pepper had refused her appearance and stayed on the sidelines to watch. The photo had been taken so it was looking down on the girls and the bed.

* * *

**January-**

"Okay...Bucky?" Seth looked up from his sheet and looked over the group of men in bathrobes. A tall, muscular dark haired man stood up. "Right in here." He led Bucky into the studio and shut the door. "You ready?"

Bucky shrugged and stood by the white backdrop.

"So I was thinking that you should cover yourself with your metal arm, uh, hand," Seth directed. "And give me a smile."

The girls stood off near the door, watching as Bucky dropped the robe. Kitty smiled and looked up over at Natasha, Pepper, and Wanda, all of whom looked shocked. She leaned closer and asked, "Were y'all expectin' that?"

"Not really." Wanda said slowly as she turned her head sideways.

"Guess that explains why he was so popular in the forties." Pepper murmured.

"Hmmhm." Kitty reached into her bag of sour gummy worms and slowly ate one. Just remember, you don't fuck your parent's friends and life is cruel. She allowed herself to stare, though, because it was quite good. Life. Is. Cruel.

"Maybe use both hands." Seth suggested. "So you're, uh, fully covered."

"We need him to glance to the side a bit." Natasha nodded to Bucky, who looked very rigid (literally) and uptight.

"And maybe smile." Wanda suggested.

"And not look so pained."

Kitty smiled and whispered, "I got this." She silently stepped off to the side and raised her arms above her head before yelling, "HEY HOTSHOT!"

Bucky's head turned towards Kitty and he smiled his sleepy smile. Seth quickly snapped the photos before he noticed.

* * *

**February**-

"Logan, you're next." Seth jerked his thumb towards the door as Bucky left.

"Hey, why's he get pants?" Scott asked, pointing to Logan's blue jeans under his open robe. He shut up when claws slid from Logan's knuckles. When Logan left, he could be heard muttering, "Ooh, look at me, I've got cat claws-"

"There's the chair and table," Seth waved his hand towards the set-up. "Make yourself-"

Logan took the cigar out of his robe's pocket before shucking it off and plopping down in the chair. He put his feet up on the table and stuck his cigar in his mouth.

"Oh, okay." Seth nodded. "That works."

"Come on, take more off!" Kitty yelled, much to the agreement of Natasha and Wanda.

"I'm already shirtless," Logan pointed out. "What more do you want?"

All four girls huddled together and whispered for a moment before Natasha announced, "Pants unbuttoned."

"And unzipped." Kitty added.

Pepper nodded. "Maybe pulled down a bit."

"If you want that, you'll have to come over here and do it yourself." Logan crossed his arms over his chest, a smug smile on his face.

The three girls looked to Wanda, who returned the smile. Slowly, Logan's pants unbuttoned and unzipped themselves.

* * *

**March**-

"Clint Barton!" Seth retrieved the next victim, who looked ecstatic.

Hawkeye immediately dropped his robe and stood with his back to the camera while holding his bow. He wore his arm guards and quiver while looking just over his shoulder. "Is this good or do I need another pose?"

"That's fine."

"Ooh, maybe I should have that shiny stuff you all put on your cheeks," Clint said to the girls as he touched his cheekbones. "To make them kind of glow."

* * *

**April**-

"Guys!" Peter was dressed in his full Spiderman uniform. "You didn't tell me it was a nude calendar!"

"That's because you're not going to be nude in front of any camera." Steve said firmly.

Peter pointed at Kitty and said, "She did!"

"She's older."

"By like, what? Three months?" Peter said defensively.

"But you're the baby." Kitty reminded him with a smile.

The April spread was Peter hanging upside down, his feet touching on the web he had attached to the ceiling. They pulled his mask just high enough for you to see his lips and nothing else.

* * *

**May**-

"Okay, Rhodey, just stand in front of the American flag and use the military cap to-"

"Yeah, yeah." Rhodey sighed as he got in position. "There's no way Stark is paying me enough for this."

June-

"Vics, how exactly did you get those people to make these?" Sam asked as Kitty handed him a giant set of white wings. Poked in with the feathers were metal ones, just like his Falcon ones.

"I promised them I'd consider doing their Victoria's Secret Fashion Show thing." Kitty shrugged and helped Sam put on the wings. "Do you have Redwing?"

"Yep." Sam manueved the drone to fly to cover the right spot and put his hands on his hips before smiling at the camera.

* * *

**July**-

Steve was...More difficult to photograph. Kitty willingly left the set for this one so Natasha, Pepper, and Wanda had to fill her in. Apparently, Steve was very uncomfortable as he held his shield over his crotch. Finally, Seth had decided that it was okay that Steve was looking down with a penitive stare.

* * *

**August**-

"Scott, you're up!" Seth announced.

Scott followed the photographer and sighed. "Why are you guys in here?" He asked.

"Artistic input." Kitty smiled.

"And we thought of this thing." Natasha chimed in.

"Are you even legal?" He asked Wanda.

"I am only a few months younger than Kitty."

"Great, so we don't actually know how old you are." Scott grumbled as he dropped the robe and held his Ant-Man helmet. He smiled a sly grin and said, "Guess they're getting their money's worth."

"You're going to have to move it down a bit." Wanda advised, pointing to his helmet.

Pepper nodded. "We can see too much."

Scott quickly moved the helmet, his cheeks flushing red with awkwardness.

* * *

**September**-

"It doesn't have anyone written down for September." Seth reread the list before handing it to Natasha.

"Here ya go." Kitty threw him a sim card, which he fumbled to catch. Seth walked over to his computer and booted it up. On it was a candid photo of Bruce when he was just changing back from being the Hulk. He was pulling up a pair of pants and was just covered enough.

"Hello Mr. September."

* * *

**October**-

"So," Seth watched as Deadpool buttoned up a sheer teddy over his suit. "You're just going to wear lingerie over that?"

"You bet your fucking beautiful hair I am."

"Yeah, what do you put in it for it to be so perfectly quaffed?" Kitty asked, pointing at Seth's hair.

Wanda walked over and started working her fingertips on top of his hair. "It's so fluffy." She whispered, mesmerized.

"Wanda," Natasha hissed. "You don't just touch a guy's hair!"

* * *

**November**-

"Thor of Asgard?" Seth asked loudly. He watched as a very large, very naked man with shoulder length blond hair stood up.

They positioned Thor on a bearskin rug right in front of a fire. He was laying on his side with his one leg popped up and his hammer in front of his, uh, lower region.

"Ya know," Kitty chewed on a gummy and watched Seth take pictures. "Although I still don't like him, I gotta admit, he is pretty good eye candy."

The other three women nodded and hummed in agreement.

* * *

**December**-

"Tony, it's your turn," Kitty nodded towards the door. "And once again, I'm sittin' out."

"Okay," Tony strolled into the room. "Not like half the men and women in America haven't seen me naked." He hooked on a few pieces of strategically placed Iron Man armor and said, "Make sure you get my good side."

* * *

**One Week Later**

"Good news," Pepper said loudly as she walked into the Tower's living room. Everyone that had been in the photoshoot (even Bruce, who had begrudgingly consented his photo after seeing it) had gathered around the table to see the official print. "The calendars were released at midnight last night." She threw a handful of the calendars onto the table. Everyone eagerly dived to grab one and flip through it. "And we've sold out."

"We're sold out?" Bruce asked, his mouth open in shock. The others exchanged surprised looks.

"And still taking orders." Pepper pulled out her phone and checked the account. "We're at well over a million for the charity."

"Holy shit." Kitty whispered. "Hey, Tasha, Wanda," She turned their page towards the girls. "Look how hot we are."

Bruce, Bucky, and Logan leaned over to see the photo.

"This was definitely a good idea." Tony said as he looked over the July spread.

"Next year should have rescue puppies." Scott suggested with an excited smile.

"The inside cover is very popular," Pepper's attention was focused on her cellphone. "No surprise there, and next two are July and February, followed very closely by September."


	25. Kitty and Deadpool Special Force Reunion

**Kitty and Deadpool's Special Forces Reunion!**

Kitty studied herself in the mirror before carefully pulling her blonde hair up into a bun. She used bobbypins to tuck the wild strands until they were uniform. She then smoothed her green, Class 'A' jacket and grabbed her beret before heading down to the living room.

"Morning, Kitty." Steve called cheerfully from the kitchen.

Kitty walked over and kissed him on the cheek before grabbing a cup of coffee. "Mornin' mom."

Clint Barton was sitting at the table, a cup of tea in his hand. He looked up from the newspaper he was reading and whistled at Kitty, who raised her middle finger at him. Less than a minute later, Deadpool and Logan strolled from the elevator. Logan was in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, but Deadpool was clad in an all black suit.

"Why aren't you in uniform?" Clint asked with a nod to Deadpool.

Logan, Kitty, and Steve responded at the same time. "Dishonorable discharge."

Tony and Bruce walked into the kitchen. Bruce full on stopped to take in the sight of Kitty while Tony just casually said, "Nice uniform, Kit."

"Thank you."

After a moment, Steve softly asked, "Who's the funeral for?"

"Well, other than Deadpool and myself, he was the last original member of the Untitled Black Unit." Kitty said.

"How'd he die?" Clint asked.

Kitty made eye contact with Clint. "He was murdered." She looked at the clock as she rinsed out her coffee mug. "We gotta go, Sarge. Josey and Kingsley said we gotta be there early to be pallbearers."

"Wait," Bruce held up his hand and said, "I thought you said you two were the last remaining members."

"Of the original unit." Kitty explained. "They brought in Jose and Kingsley when Dominick died and another member mysteriously disappeared."

"Mysteriously disappeared?" Tony asked with raised eyebrows.

"Dangerous work, being a mercenary." Kitty said with a straight face. "Make too many enemies, can't always watch your back."


	26. Operation Petticoat and Murder

**Operation Petticoat and Murder**

"Someone is hunting down our team." Kitty announced grandly. Logan and Deadpool exchanged looks of disbelief. "Someone hunted down Morris."

"Why?" Logan asked.

"Remember how we agreed to never talk about Daintree?"

"You think this is about Daintree?" Deadpool narrowed his nonexistent eyebrows.

"I think it was the only mission that was compromised."

"What do you want to do about it?"

"Stakeout Morris' place?" Kitty suggested. "See who comes home?"

* * *

"So," Deadpool kicked his feet up onto the dashboard and looked through a pair of binoculars. "You and Reyez."

"What about him?" Kitty asked suspiciously.

"You two were pretty close."

"And?"

Deadpool lowered the binoculars and looked her in the eyes. "You were underage."

"We never slept together. Besides," Kitty grabbed the binoculars from him and raised them up to her face. "He was like, barely four years older than me."

"Did he know you were that young?"

"No," Kitty shook her head. "I was gonna tell him but…" Her voice trailed off. "Didn't end up mattering, ya know?"

"And you know who killed him." Deadpool noticed that she just stared straight ahead rather than looking in his direction. "You know," He leaned back and put his hands behind his head. "Things like that go down the chain of command. I got the order when you refused."

"So why didn't you?"

"Because," Deadpool sighed. "If anyone on that team would have covered both our asses, it would've been Reyez. I mean, the man was in love with you."

"Seems to be a common thing." Kitty complained.

"Yeah, it does." Deadpool agreed with a nod of his head. "Speaking of people in love with you, Bucky told me yesterday-"

"Don't." Kitty warned.

"Don't what?" Deadpool said with faux-hurt. "You have no idea what I was going to say."

Her voice changed to a pleading tone as she looked at her friend. "Please, just don't."

"Why not?"

"Because it would never work out."

"What do you mean?"

Kitty considered telling him, she really did, but she couldn't trust that he wouldn't go straight to Bucky. "Just don't. That's an order."

"Fine, Captain Vics, since we're feeling our big girl titles."

"Come on, you know they only promoted me because there was no one left."

* * *

**7 years ago**

* * *

"Some folks are born made to wave the flag. Ooh, they're red, white, and blue. And when the band plays 'Hail to the Chief', ooh they point the cannon at you-"

The soldiers in the plane were packed in tightly, shoulders touching and bags thrown on top of each other. Out of the troop of twelve people, only one was female. Her blonde hair, braided back out of her face, stood out from the identical, all black gear that everyone wore.

A man sitting on the left side of the plane frowned. "Someone turn that shit off."

"Ahh, man," A guy complained as he shook his head. "You don't like Creedence?"

"No, it's shit." The grumpy man said, prompting groans from the rest of the group.

Kitty Vics sat near the door of the plane, her arms crossed over her chest as she stared at the man. "I outrank you, Harvey," She nodded to the man with the radio. "And I say turn it the fuck up."

Cheers erupted from the group as the song became louder, with multiple men singing along.

"Yeah," Harvey shook his head as he fought to be heard over the music. "Not surprised that a bayou bumkpin likes them."

Wade Wilson, who sat next to Vics, grabbed a white piece of cloth to wave around.

"So,"

Vics glanced over her left to see one of the newbies looking at her. He was baby faced with bright eyes, which were currently narrowed with anxiety. He looked so innocent that Kitty felt bad for the kid; He should be in college, not being paid to do things for a country that would deny your existence if you were sloppy.

"How, uh," The boy smiled awkwardly. "How many drops you been on, ma'am?"

"Morrison, right?" Vics asked. He nodded. "Okay, Morris, it's Vics, the Violent Vixen, Captain, or a variation of those listed. Take your pick, but don't call me Mrs., , ma'am, Ms., or Miss."

"Okay, um," Morrison nervously began to tap his fingers on his leg. "Captain-"

Wilson leaned in towards the kid and whispered, "You can call her Louisiana, too."

Morrison gulped loudly. "So, Louisiana…"

"Sup?"

"How many combat drops you been on?" He only asked as a way to fish for her age. Morrison had tried asking multiple people, all with inconsistent answers. Some said she was nineteen; Others said she was twenty-five. One man had laughed for a good minute before saying that it didn't matter because she was excellent at her job. He had tried outright asking her and she replied that he 'ought to mind his own damn business'.

"Shiiiiit," Vics looked over at Wilson and asked, "Twenty? Thirty?"

Wilson nodded. "Somewhere in there."

Morrison glanced around at the rest of the group. "The rest of you?"

"Five."

"Seven."

"Five."

"Three."

"Four."

"Six."

"You'll get used to it." Vics assured him. She looked out the window and saw green foliage everywhere. The forest would provide a decent amount of cover, she decided as she wiped a bead of sweat from her temple. Just wish it wasn't so fucking hot. She saw a break in the tree line, less than sixty feet long. "We're almost to the drop point," Vics said loudly, silencing the chatter in the plane. "Everyone got their 'chutes?"

Chrouses of 'yeah' rang through the space.

Harvey nodded. "Yep."

Vics looked Harvey in the eyes and said, "Pity."

The pilot of the plane looked over their shoulder. "Play nice, everyone."

"Okay, Wilson," Vics stood up and shrugged on her pack. "You're right after me. Everyone else, file in with the scared shitless in last."

One of the men turned towards Morrison and said, "You're last, kid."

"Hey," Someone called loudly. He pointed to Vics, who was deep in conversation with Wilson. "Ten says Vixen does a backflip!"

Her head shot up. "Did someone say 'Do a backflip'?" She smiled and yanked the door open. The wind whipped the end of her braid and her eyes teared up slightly. "See you bitches on the ground!" She threw herself out of the plane backwards and they cheered as she somersaulted in the air.

Once she was close enough to the ground, Vics pulled the red cord and opened her parachute. She landed gracefully, followed by Wilson, who did not land gracefully. She offered her hand to her best friend and helped him to his feet. Vics looked up and saw Morrison, the last of their group, landing. "Everyone whole?"

"Yeah-"

And then, the shooting started.

The bullets rained on them, thick and heavy. Vics quickly hit the ground and crawled behind a tree for cover. Thankfully, Wilson had done the same. The jungle was dark enough that the sun wasn't bright enough to burn her eyes, since her sunglasses had fallen off. She looked over at Wilson. Although he was just a few feet from her, she had to yell to be heard over the gunfire. "You hit?!"

Wilson shook his head as he drew one of his guns. "You?"

"Not yet," She eyed her tree suspiciously and gripped the handle of her gun tighter. "But we need better cover!"

Vics peaked around the tree and saw that Morrison was holed up behind a rock, his face bloodied. "Hey!" She grabbed Wilson's attention before nodding in his direction. "We gotta get the kid!"

"I'll cover you!" Wilson darted from his tree to hers, narrowly avoiding a bullet to the arm. He pressed his back to the bark and locked eyes with Vics. "Go!"

She dashed from her cover towards the inexperienced soldier. Her ears ached and echoed but she tried to ignore it as she slid in behind Morrison. She felt a rock imbed itself into her knee and looked down to see a small trail of blood run down her leg. "Shit."

Morrison's head snapped around and he looked up at Kitty with fear.

"Are you okay?"

The kid's eyes were still wide and he appeared paralyzed.

"KID," Vics grabbed Morrison by the shoulders and shook him. "ARE YOU HURT?"

He blinked but shook his head. "No, no, uh, I'm okay."

"Good." She plucked his gun from its holster and shoved it in his hands. "You do know how to use this, right?"

"Yes, ma'am-uh, Louisiana."

"Okay, did you see where the rest of the team ended up?"

He shook his head and Vics considered this before saying, "Okay, I need you and Wilson to cover me while I climb up that tree," She pointed to the largest and strongest tree in the vicinity. "And get a look at what we're dealing with."

The kid seemed to snap back into action and quickly raised his gun.

Vics climbed the tree high enough to see the enemies and smiled. Only four targets and...Ten bullets. More than enough to go around. Vics figured she could kill two before they realized her position, so she quickly took out one of the shooters. The forest was silent for a moment as the other team tried to regroup. Vics heard three shots go off near where Wilson was hiding; two down, two to go. The gunfire resumed and she heard another series of shots from where Morrison was. And the gunfire lessened. _Good for him, _Vics thought. _Little boy's first kill._

A simple shot to the head and the gunfire stopped altogether.

"Ey, Sarge!"

"Ey, Vics!"

"Was that me or you?"

"Uhh...Both?"

"Both is good!"

Vics climbed back down the tree and walked over to where her sunglasses had fallen off. She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw that they hadn't broken. She dusted them off and slid them back on.


	27. Harder To Breathe

**Harder To Breathe**

Vics sat next to Wilson and set out her empty clips and her bullets in neat piles. She started filling the clips and let her mind and eyes wander around the camp. Groups of two or three men were scattered around, most servicing their weapons or eating. She continued surveying the area until her gaze landed on a man she had never seen before.

He stood with his back pressed to a metal beam, an unlit cigar sticking out of his mouth. She pulled down her black sunglasses to get a better look at the man. He had dark hair that was somehow combed to look messy while staying kept. It was obviously out of regulation, but Vics had the impression that he didn't give a fuck. She liked that. The man was attractive, she had to give him that. His eyes flicked up to Kitty, who had already turned her attention to Wilson.

"Hey, Sarge, who's that?" Vics asked, careful to keep her voice light and casual.

Wilson was busy checking his own weapon and distractively asked, "Who's who?"

"The Hugh Jackman look-alike."

Wilson's head jerked up to see the man looking at them. A smile crossed his face and he looked back at Vics. "They call him the Wolverine."

Vic's blonde eyebrows drew together and she glanced back over her shoulder at the man. When she saw that he was still staring, she quickly turned back around. "Why's that?"

Wilson went back to servicing his weapon, but a knowing smile stayed on his face. "Why don't you ask him yourself?"

Vics mirrored his grin and said, "Maybe I will." She stood up and messed with Wilson's short blond hair before strolling over to where the man was. She peered at him over her sunglasses and asked, "Hasn't anyone warned you 'bout the last man that stared at me like that?"

He took the cigar from his mouth before saying, "They said you cut off his toes-"

"One by one." Kitty finished as she crossed her arms over her chest. "Usually scares 'em away pretty fast."

"Not that easy to scare." He replaced the cigar in his mouth, which was still curled into a smirk.

"Obviously." Vics inspected the man carefully. "So, why do they call you the Wolverine?"

The man held his left arm out to the side and Vics watched as three long, metal claws slid from between his knuckles. She didn't flinch or recoil, like the man had expected. Instead, her eyes lit up and a smile crossed her face.

"Who's your superior?"

The man silently retracted his claws, an odd look on his face. "Baxter." His eyebrows drew together with mild confusion. "Why?"

Vics nodded and turned towards a table a couple meters away. "Hey, Baxter!"

The ginger stopped his conversation and followed the voice. "Hey, Vics!"

She nodded towards the man next to her. "Who do you want for him?"

"What?"

"I'll trade you Harvey for-" Vics looked over her shoulder and whispered to the man with the claws. "What's your name again?"

He leaned close enough for her to feel his breath on her neck. She tried to keep her face straight and not shiver when he said, "Logan."

Vics made eye contact with Baxter and yelled, "Harvey for Logan?"

A look of confusion crossed Baxter's tanned face. "Who?"

She quietly laughed and jerked her thumb at Logan. "The Wolverine!"

Baxter turned to his second in command and quietly asked, "The Mutant freak?" His second nodded. "Which do you think will kill the other?"

The second considered this. "Vics will kill him first." He glanced over at the man, then added, "When he wakes up, he'll kill her."

Baxter smiled a toothy grin. "A win-win." He looked back up to Vics and held his arms out. "I'll take it!"

Vics smiled triumphantly and turned to Logan, a tinkle in her blue eyes. "Looks like you're mine, Logan."

"Looks like it." Logan agreed. He looked Vics up and down, his eyes narrowed slightly. "What are you?"

"Intrigued." Vics answered. "And now your superior. Name's the Violent Vixen, Staff Sergeant, Louisiana, or-" She pushed her glasses up further on her nose and was glad that they hid her eyes, which flicked down. "Kitty Vics."

"Really?" Logan asked. "Kitty?"

She crossed her arms over her chest and shifted her weight onto her left foot. "Got a problem with that, Logan?"

"Nope."

"So," Vics nodded to his hands, which were down at his side. "How do you get through the airport with those?"

Logan almost cracked a smile. "I don't."

"Ooh, body cavity search?" Vics joked. "I hate those."

Logan took this tangent as deflection of his earlier question. "I meant, what are you?" He remembered her lack of surprise or fear at his claws and the draw he felt to her the moment he entered the camp. "What kind of Mutant are you?"

Vics shook her head. "I'm nothin' special, Logan." She walked back over to Wilson and resumed filling her clips.

"I refuse to believe that." Logan said quietly before he followed her.


	28. No Time For Sergeants

**No Time For Sergeants**

"Your team is being sent on a Sector 7 mission." The suit-clad government official said in lieu of a greeting.

Vics was sitting in a beach chair in her makeshift quarters, which consisted of a small army green tent with a collapsible cot, stationed right next to Wilson and Logan's tent. She was wearing her combat gear, but had an obnoxiously blue Hawaiian shirt, complete with little surfers riding little waves, unbuttoned over her black tank top. She crossed her arms over her chest and laughed. With a smile, she said, "You're jokin', right?" before taking a sip from the pineapple cup in her hands.

"What part of my demeanor says I have a sense of humor?" The man asked with a deadpan face.

Vics rolled her eyes. "So why us? I'm sure y'all got more qualified people."

"You've got the highest amount of Mutants and altered persons in a Unit. We feel this will require people who won't…" The man's voice trailed off and he seemed to be trying to figure out how to say it. "Who can't…"

"Die?" Vics asked, amused. She took another sip of her drink.

The man cleared his throat and handed Kitty a manilla file. "Here is all the information we have. Brief only those who you need. Be ready to deploy in two hours."

Vics followed the man out of her quarters and stood next to Wilson. "We got orders." Her eyes were trained on the man leaving. "And I don't like 'em at all, Sarge."

Wilson nodded to the file in her hand and asked, "Those them?"

"Yeah…" She tapped the file against her leg. "I want Logan in on this."

"I'll get him."

Five minutes later, Logan was sitting in the beach chair in Kitty's quarters while Wilson sat on her bed. Vics stood in the middle of the space and announced, "You two are here because, as of right now, you are the only ones I trust-"

"Horrible decision." Wilson interrupted.

"Shut the fuck up, Wilson, or I'll make sure Logan and I win the dead pool." Vics hissed.

Wilson's face dropped. "You bet against me?"

"Oh, yeah," Vics scoffed. "Like I didn't see your name and a couple hundred dollars under mine."

Wilson changed the topic. "So, what's the mission?"

Vic's eyes flicked down because even she knew how this will sound. "It's a Sector 7."

"A what?" Logan asked.

"Unknown lifeform of extra terrestrial origin."

Logan and Wilson burst out laughing, their faces twisting with entertainment.

"Are you fuckin' done?" Vics snapped impatiently.

"They want us to track down aliens?" Logan asked incredulously.

"No," Vics disagreed. "They want us to kill aliens."

Laughter ensues.

"Fine, you two don't really need to know what we're up against," Kitty turned around and made like she was leaving. "I don't care-"

"Come on," Logan reached out and grabbed her wrist. "Sorry."

"Yeah," Wilson was trying to stifle his laughter. "We'll stop."

"The only reason why I'm not laughing is because the last Unit that went on a Sector 7 was slaughtered. Only Red was left and he was fucked up, physically and mentally. I snuck into the VA and talked to him before the psych eval," Vics shrugged. "He said that it was aliens."

Wilson started cackling again.

Vics continued like she hadn't heard him. "Like Xenomorph, Sigourney Weaver 'Aliens'."

Logan raised his eyebrow but didn't laugh. "Like the movies?"

"He said that the movies were to warn us about them."

"So," Wilson was still chuckling. "We're going to fight Xenos?"

"I don't think so," Vics shook her head and held up the file. "This is different." She handed it to Logan, who immediately opened it.

"This is…" He picked up the single sheet of paper. "Practically empty."

"Apparently, there's no real information on them. Last team they sent was sloppy, had families," She took in a deep breath. "Now them families want answers the US government ain't got."

It was silent in the tent as this sunk in. Quietly, Wilson asked, "Where are we going?"

"Daintree. They won't say where exactly. We leave in an hour and a half."

"They don't expect us to come back." Logan threw the file on the ground.

"No," Vics shook her head. "No, they don't."


	29. The Predator

**The Predator**

"You don't like flyin', do ya?" Vics yelled over the loud sound of their helicopter taking off.

"Not really, no." Logan grunted. His eyes were screwed shut and his knuckles were white from how hard he was gripping the 'oh shit' handle.

"WOOOOO!" Wilson cheered as they jerked sharply to the right. "THIS IS FUCKING GREAT, VICKY!"

Vics nodded towards Wilson with a smile. "Least he's havin' fun!"

* * *

Vics watched in awe as the creature sauntered out of the jungle. She figured that it stood at over ten feet tall, easily. It wore armor over its thick-looking skin and donned a metal mask covering its face, with dreadlocks hanging out the back.

Vics' mouth dropped open and she managed to whisper, "That's a fuckin' Predator!"

Wilson was just as surprised as his superior. "Holy. Fucking. Shit."

The Predator took another step and Vics raised her gun. "Light 'em up!"

Bullets rained through the trees, all aiming for the creature. It shimmered before going invisible and charging towards the team. Logan moved in front of Vics as everyone looked around for the Predator. Vics slipped on her sunglasses and pressed a button on the side. Her vision was bathed in blue and her eyes tried to adjust to the heat sensors. She scanned the area before seeing a bright red and yellow aura running at them. Vics turned her gun towards it and called out, "On my left!"

The Predator grabbed Logan and tossed him like a rag doll across the jungle clearing. Vics quickly shot several rounds into the creature, with most hitting the armor. The Predator effortlessly knocked Vics on her back and geared to grab her by the throat. She held her gun in both hands and raised it to cover her face. When it grabbed the gun, she wrapped her leg onto the creature's neck and swung herself up onto its shoulders. Vics took out a pocket knife and stabbed the Predator in its neck before it knocked her off. She rolled to her feet and watched as Logan sat up from where he was thrown. He stood and loudly cracked his neck, drawing the Predator's attention. Logan shook his shoulders and charged towards the Predator, who appeared confused as Logan's skin healed itself before its eyes. Vics looked down and saw a small, perfectly circular ball sitting innocently at her feet.

Vics reached over to pick it up. "What is-" She turned it over in her hand and went invisible. "Oh, this is wicked!" She stood up and took a running leap at the creature, her knife in hand.

She stabbed the creature in the head, plunging the knife deep into where she hoped it's brain was. It staggered and Kitty tightened her grip to stay on. The Predator stumbled and fell, making Kitty jump off the body so she could land on her feet.

"So what the actual fuck?" Wilson asked loudly. "What the fuck is that?!" He pointed to the creature with his gun before he shot an entire clip into the Predator.

"It's a Predator." Kitty tried to sound sure and in charge, but honestly? Whatthefuck. "It's a goddamn Predator."

"And what the fuck is that?" Wilson nodded to the ball in Kitty's hand.

"I don't know but-" Kitty admitted. She turned the ball over in her hand and went invisible.

* * *

**Present Day**

* * *

"Shit," Deadpool cursed loudly. "You think they're after it? The invisible ball?"

"Government must've been tryin' to track down who could've taken it," Kitty shrugged. "And we're next on the list."

"What do you want to do?" Deadpool asked.

"Give it back." Kitty said nonchalantly as she watched a black car that pulled up to the curb of Morrison's house.

"You think they're just going to fucking let us go?"

"Nope. We pull a Mishka."

"Fucking Mishka." Deadpool shook his head. "Imma be killed for this."

"Probably." Kitty nodded.

Three men in all black suits got out of the car and went into Morrison's house.

"Bingo." Kitty threw down the binoculars and grabbed her gun from her lap. "Let's go."

"This is fucking suicide." Deadpool complained as he grabbed a pile of rope. They both got out of the car and started towards Morrison's door.

Kitty put her hand on the doorknob and mouthed, "3...2...1…" She pushed it open and Deadpool charged into the house, surprising the three agents.

They had already begun tearing up the living room in their search for the ball when Deadpool and Kitty stormed the place.

"Everyone get on the fuckin' ground!" Kitty barked as she trained her gun at one of the suited men's heads. "On the ground! Now!"

"Hold on," The one in charge raised his hands over his head, prompting the others to do the same. "Vics, right? Think about what you're doing right now-"

"You're lookin' for something, right?" Kitty asked. "That's why ya killed Morris, because you thought he had it."

"Morrison died in a car accident-"

"Yeah and I didn't flash my ass at the gorram law!" Kitty yelled. "Now tell me, are you lookin' for something?"

"Yes." The man finally admitted.

"Then get on the damn ground! And keep those hands up."

"Okay, okay, stay calm, Vics, we're the good guys here-"

"Bullshit." Kitty spat. "Lettme see them hands."

The three got to their knees and Deadpool tied their hands to their ankles and took their guns.

"Now, we don't want any trouble, so as far as I'm concerned, you found this," Kitty took out the ball from her pocket. "Here in this house. We weren't here."

"I have to report this." The one in charge warned.

"Are you sure?" Kitty asked as she pointed her gun at his head.

"The government will come after you for taking this-"

He was cut off by the sound of Vics pulling the trigger. He dropped down to the ground with a bullet in the brain. She turned to the next guy on his knees.

"Now," Kitty started again. "We don't want any trouble, so as far as I'm concerned-"

"Yeah, yeah," The man nodded eagerly. "We found it in Morrison's house, he's the one that took it. And Taggerty's gun malfunctioned and he shot himself. I got it."


	30. Nazis At The Center Of The Earth

**Nazis At The Center Of The Earth**

He showed up at twelve on the button, the punctuality almost frightening. Pepper immediately called Kitty down, who was sleepy eyed and still in her pajamas. Noon. On a Sunday. Fuck this.

"Oh, fuck." Kitty swore upon seeing her visitor. "King, why the hell are you wakin' me up?"

Kingsley had no time for his usual pleasantries or jokes, which was worrisome. The last time he looked this tired and serious was the Las Vegas shooting. "You need to call all available Avengers right now."

"What?" Kitty glanced over her shoulder at Pepper, who looked just as startled. "What's goin' on?"

Kingley met Pepper's eyes and pulled Kitty into a secluded corner before handing her an envelope.

Kitty carefully broke the seal and took out several photographs. Some were aerial photos of what looked like a snowy tundra while two were blurry up close shots of a dark haired man in a blood red snow suit. "But that's-"

"Call them right now." Kingsley urged.

"JARVIS, who's home?"

"Dr. Banner is, Ms. Vics." JARVIS responded immediately.

"Tell him to meet us at the round table." Kitty turned to Pepper. "I need you to lock down the Tower and only let in Avengers. Make them clear the doors with their codes first. Level two lock down."

Pepper nodded. "Should I text Happy or-"

"Nah, he and Harrison should be fine at home, but you need to stay here."

"Okay, do you want me to start calling the team?"

Kitty and Kingsley exchanged a look, then the FBI agent slowly shook his head. "Thanks, Pep, but I think we got it. Come on, King."

* * *

**Violent_Vixen_6:** "I need all available Avengers at the Tower- ASAP"

_Iron Man: _"What's wrong?"

**Violent_Vixen_6:** "can't say over non secure lines."

_Captain_America_: "I'm in Brooklyn with Bucky."

**Violent_Vixen_6**: "bring him"

Black_Widow: "Are you sure?"

**Violent_Vixen_6**: "trust me, he'll want in"

**_Spider_Man: "_**I'm in class"

**Violent_Vixen_6:** "and you're staying there, next"

Black_Widow: "On my way :)"

_Captain_America:_ "So are we. ETA 15 minutes."

**Violent_Vixen_6:** "Barton?"

Black_Widow: "Still on vacation. Tony?"

_Iron_Man_: "I'm in Paris but I can be back in three hours."

**Violent_Vixen_6**: "don't have that kind of time. teams me, J.D., Cap, Bruce, Tasha. anyone else?"

_Iron Man: _"None that'll be there in time. I've got Wanda and her brother with me. He can probably make it in time."

**Violent_Vixen_6:** "Can he swim?"

_Iron Man_: "He'll just run on top of the water."

**Violent_Vixen_6:** "if he can't actually swim, I can't use him. anyone who's coming, be here within an hour at the round table."

* * *

"Guys, Kingsley," Kitty introduced by waving her hand towards the man sitting next to her. "King, guys."

"You won't believe the kind of treason I commited to get these." Kingsley held up a stack of photographs before throwing them down on the table. "These were taken five hours ago."

Steve grabbed one of the photos and inspected it. "That's Walter Weiham."

Bruce's eyebrows knitted together. "He was the head of Hydra, right?"

"Is," Kingsley corrected. "Is the head of Hydra. He's alive and well, in Antarctica right now."

"Antarctica?" Natasha asked dubiously.

"We think there's an old Nazi fort," Kingsley clicked a button on the table, which produced a holographic layout of a structure under the Artic ice. "Right here." He moved the holograph down a few inches and zoomed in. "Hope you have good coats, because I want you in."

With a glance at Bucky, Steve asked, "Government interference?"

"I doubt it." Kingsley shook his head. "The American government has decided that it's staying out of this. Legally, I'm not here."

"Staying out of this?" Bruce repeated. "How are they just going to stay out of this?"

"You know how." Kingsley said darkly. "The only people outside of the Oval Office that have seen these photos," He gathered them up in his hands and put them in his suit pocket. "Are right here in this room, which is where it's staying. I'm not saying you have to risk-"

"Be ready to go in twenty." Steve stood up, prompting the rest to follow. "We'll take one of Tony's jets-"

"We'll have to go full stealth. If we use autopilot, they might be able to change our telemetry." Bruce reported. "And we should probably take the _Jovi_. It's the smallest while still being equipped with what we will need."

"I can fly it." Kitty said confidently. She looked to Steve and added, "It won't be pretty, but I can."

"I'll copilot." Bucky offered quickly.

Kitty's eyebrows knit together. "You're a pilot?"

"This is your case." Steve put his hand on her shoulder and said, "You're taking lead, Kitty."

Kitty nodded. "I don't have to tell y'all that it's gonna be cold." Kitty announced with her hands on her hips. "Make sure you're bundled up. Even you, Cap. Bruce," His head snapped up. "I want the jet as well as her rescue pods to be fully equipped with whatever you think we may need for cool environments. Extra food, supplies, blankets, meds. Everything."

Bruce nodded and everyone left to prepare.

"Thanks, King." Kitty hugged her friend. "You won't get in trouble for this, right?"

"How am I to know if Stark got a hold of aerial footage and decided to check it out for himself?" Kingsley shrugged with a smile. "Call me when you get back, so I know you're okay?"

"Of course." Kitty walked him downstairs and watched as he left, while the others suited up. In less than twenty minutes, Kitty ceremoniously dumped a large pile of winter gear on the jet.

"You do know that I put some jackets in the cabinet, right?" Bruce asked her.

"Average temperature for that region in the middle of winter in -49c. That's only -56f and I'm quite attached to my hands and toes." Kitty sassed as she pulled on a pair of motorcycle gloves.

"Okay, okay."

"So, do you want to be on the raid team or just medical?" Kitty asked as she sat down in the cockpit. "I know you don't like to do any fightin'."

"If you don't need me," Bruce crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against one of the sides on the inside of the jet. "I'd like to just stay in the warm, cozy plane and suture you up when you're done."

"Who's to say I'll need stitches?" Kitty asked defensively as the rest of the team filed in the plane.

"Are you kidding? Have you met yourself-" Bruce's shoulder was bumped as Bucky rudely pushed past him. Bruce rolled his eyes and went to take his seat in the back of the jet.

Kitty switched on the jet's com system and said, "Settle down folks and buckle up." She flipped the com off and started prepping for take off. She saw Bucky sit down and greeted, "Hey, hotshot."

Bucky smiled his sleepy smile and buckled up his harness. "You ready, Sunshine?"

Kitty returned the grin as she slipped on her headset. "Are you?" She flipped up three switches on the instrument panel and the plane quietly started up. She carefully maneuvered the plane out of it's housings and set for the top of the world.

About ten minutes into their ascent, Kitty's ears popped painfully. "Gah!" Her hand flew to her ear and she opened and closed her mouth several times.

"Are you okay?" Bucky asked.

"Yeah," Kitty lied. "Yeah, I'm fine." Kitty's voice sounded distorted and weird to her and she continued massaging her ear.

"Are you sure? Your ears look like they're bleeding." Bucky pointed to her ear, which had a stream of blood steadily oozing out.

"Yeah, I'm fine. It does that."

"Okay…" Bucky nodded, but didn't sound convinced. "Hey, thanks for inviting me." Bucky said suddenly.

"Oh, no problem." Kitty shrugged. She used a napkin to clean the drying blood off her neck.

"Really, I mean it."

"No problem." Kitty looked down as her face blushed profusely. "So what were you and Stevie doing?"

"Talking about old times." Bucky said lightly. "It's nice being able to remember some of the old things we used to do."

"I'm glad you remember some of it." Kitty smiled. "What exactly were you talking about? If you don't wanna tell me, that's okay-"

"No, it's fine. We were talking about how our past selves would think of our current selves."

"And the consensus?"

"Past me would try to kick current me's ass for not being with you."

Kitty froze mid-action. _But he will leave you_. "Hey, hun, can you take primary so I can put on a jacket?" Kitty asked suddenly as she unbuckled her harness. "It's already starting to get cold."

"Of course." Bucky switched over the controls and watched as she left the cockpit. "Came on a little too strong." He whispered to himself. "Little too strong."

"How you guys holdin' up?" Kitty asked the group. Natasha was shrugging on her jacket and Bruce was rifling through the pile for a pair of gloves.

"Is there something wrong with the heat?" Steve asked as he rubbed his hands together.

"We're only about fifteen minutes from where we'll land," Kitty reported. She picked up her white jacket and shrugged it on over her suit. "Then we'll have to walk about three miles to where the ground radar says the structure is."

"Should've brought long-johns." Steve muttered. As if on cue, Kitty threw him a pair of bright blue pants and a shirt.

"Hot Chilly's." Kitty nodded to the bathroom. "Go put them on under your suit."

"Are you sure they'll fit?" Bruce said dubiously as Steve left.

"God, I hope so," She zipped up her jacket and started buttoning it up. "I ordered them in his size."

"You bought him base clothes?" Natasha asked curiously.

"I've got them for everyone." Kitty held up a bag full of different colored clothes. "Yours are red, Bruce, you're purple, Bucky's dark blue." She started handing out the garments. "I didn't want you to be cold."

Steve came out with them under his suit, as directed. "These are really great, thanks Kitty."

"Welcome." Kitty called over her shoulder as she walked back up to the cockpit, the dark blue pair in her hands. She shoved them at Bucky and told him, "Go put these on, then get your jacket on."

Bucky did as told and joined her just in time to start the land procedures. "Shit, there's a lot of wind." Kitty felt the jet sweep gently to the right. Over the com, she said, "Make sure you're strapped in, this is gonna be a bit rough. Sorry." She switched com off. "Hey, J.D, I'm gonna need you to turn the stabilizers off, redirect power to the second engines."

"You sure?" The look Kitty gave him made him apologize. He flipped off four switches and overrode the computer's complaint. "Turning stabilizers off."

The jet jerked downwards as it hit a strong gust of wind. Kitty pulled up on the controls to try to even it out.

"And redirecting power."

After a lot of careful maneuvering, Kitty and Bucky managed to land the jet in a moderately safe space._ In the middle of a barren ice field. With no cover. Great._

"Everyone whole?" Kitty yelled.

Laughter and a weak, "No!" Rang through the jet.

"Nice flyin'." Kitty kissed Bucky's cheek and ruffled his hair, making him smile. "Let's go. Hey, Banner!"

Bruce's head jerked up to look at her.

"Come over here!"

He followed Kitty to the cockpit, where she sat him down. "This button is autopilot." She touched a green switch. "Flip it up and press this," A red button. "Twice. The wheels'll come up and then you enter where you need to go. All of us have a tracker, so you can see us here." There was a screen listing each person's name and coordances. "Click on it and enter in your code and it'll take the ship to fifteen yards out from us."

"Okay, got it." Bruce confirmed. "But I won't need this, right?"

She laughed at his obvious 'you'll be careful, right?'. Kitty said, "Yeah, yeah, just good for you to know."

"I've also got your heart rates," He held up an iPad. "Temperature, any suspected injuries, BP-"

"Ooh, can you check my credit score, too?" Kitty asked sarcastically. She started to walk away before pausing and turning around, "Actually, don't do that because it's probably really bad."

They made sure everyone was completely ready to go before they opened the doors. Everyone was bundled up in all white, hats and scarfs and long-johns, and loaded up weapons wise. And Kitty's teeth still chattered the moment the door was opened. The cold wind hit her like a slap in the face and her nose burned with each breath. "H-h-holy shit, is everyone's c-c-coms working?"

"Y-y-yeah." Steve managed as the group stepped out of their warm structure.

Bruce Banner: "Have fun, keep me updated on injuries so I can be ready when you get back."

"Will do." Kitty waved as he closed the jet's door, sealing them out in the arctic tundra. "Okay, g-g-guys, signal s-s-says that we need to go two and a half miles out. The wind p-p-pushed up another half a mile closer than I w-w-was planning."

"Yay w-w-wind!" Natasha cheered and the group trudged North.

Quiet sounds of shivering could be heard over the com system, except from one person. Kitty looked to the person next to her and gasped. "Bucky, aren't y-y-you c-c-cold?"

Bucky shrugged.

"Whatthefuck?" Kitty whispered as she stared at him with fear and amazement.

"That's not n-n-natural." Natasha hissed. "I'm f-f-fucking FROM Russia and I'm c-c-cold."

Bruce Banner: "It says that, with the wind, it's about -54c right now."

"T-t-thank you, Dr. B-B-Banner."

Bruce Banner: "In each of your zippered pockets, you'll find three little red pills sealed in a waterproof bag. If I tell you to take it, put one under your tongue and let it dissolve. It'll be extremely bitter and probably make your tongue numb, but whatever you do, do not spit it out."

"W-w-what is it?" Steve asked dubiously.

Bruce Banner: "An experimental pill that should raise your body temperature up to five degrees. You can only take one and only when I tell you to because it can have extreme side effects-"

"T-t-this sounds promising." Natasha muttered.

Bruce Banner: "Similar to Methamphetamine, so you'll have faster breathing, increased body temperature, and wakefulness, all of which we want. But like Methamphetamine, it'll probably be addicting, so you need to watch each other."

"Banner's a drug dealer," Kitty sang lightheartedly. "Banner's a drug dealer!"

Bruce Banner: "I'm not-"

He was cut off by all four members of the ice group singing, "Baaanner's a drug dealer, Baaaanner's a drug deeeeealer!" Their laughs seem to bounce off the blinding white ice and for a minute, they forgot how cold they felt. But only for a minute.

"W-w-what is t-t-that?" Steve asked. On the horizon in front of them lay an old mining town with rotting wood structures.

"That's w-w-where K-K-King's signal came f-f-from." Kitty had her cell phone out as she scrolled through the messages. She sealed it back in it's waterproof bag and stashed it in a zippered pocket.

"A-a-anyone getting a R-R-Resident E-E-E-Evil vibe?" Natasha asked.

"Hmmm...I was t-t-thinking more AVP but yeah," Kitty shrugged. "That w-w-works, too."

Bruce Banner: "There are heat signatures near where you guys are. Stay vigilant."

"C-c-c-copy that." Steve confirmed.

"O-o-oh shit!" Kitty hissed. She saw a snowmobile on the other side of one of the wood structures. A figure in a red snowsuit was bent over the vehicle, gassing it up for his twice daily run arounds. "We gotta hide, we gotta go!"

"Where the h-h-hell are we going to h-i-ide, Vics?" Natasha asked harshly as the group looked around for anywhere to hide. "W-w-we're in the f-f-fucking Artic with n-n-no cover!"

Kitty's eyes fell on a broken part in the ice, right under a domed metal sheet. It was going to be a tight squeeze and cold, but it was better than where they were. "G-g-guys, stay with me." She ran over the ice best she could, making sure to keep out of sight of the enemy and motioned to the water.

"Vics, do y-y-you know h-o-ow cold that'll b-be?" Natasha demanded.

"Would ya r-r-rather be caught by Hydra N-a-a-azis?"

Natasha silently followed the group to the water. Kitty closed her eyes and held her breath as she slid into the water. It was paralyzing. The cold immediately jerked her muscles and she fought to swim to the break under the metal sheet. Her hat and scarf weighed her down so Kitty tore them off and let the pieces sink down to the black abyss. Bucky was next in the water, then Steve, and finally the hesitant Natasha.

Bruce Banner: "Kitty, Natasha, your body temperatures are reading 92 and 91 degrees, what the hell are you two doing?"

"I-I-I don't wanna t-t-talk bout it." Kitty whispered as she shivered violently.

Bruce Banner: "Steve your temperature is starting to drop as well."

"I n-n-noticed." Steve responded. "N-N-Nat, come here. B-B-Bucky, you get-t-t Kitty. We h-h-have to keep our b-b-body heat up." He wrapped his arms around Natasha and the groups of two huddled close as they treaded water.

Bruce Banner: "Take those pills _right_ _now_."

"A-a-are you s-s-sure?" Steve asked.

Bruce Banner: "Yes, one pill each of you, _now_."

Natasha fumbled as she got out her baggie. She went to unseal it but dropped it instead. "Shit." Natasha said as she tried to get the bag before it sank.

Kitty pried Bucky's arm off her and dived down into the deep for the pills.

"KITTY!"

She found that she couldn't keep her eyes open and was instead just blindly groped around for the bag. Kitty had it right there in her hands, but it was so cold that she couldn't curl her fingers up to keep them. They drifted back to the bottom. With her eyes closed and the darkness closing around her, Kitty's mind wandered. _My chest hurts, _She silently noted. _And my feet hurt. I should stop kicking._ _If I stop kicking, they won't hurt anymore_. Kitty stopped fighting the current and succumbed to the freezing depths. She could feel her body being pulled down deeper and deeper. _I won't hurt anymore._..

Then she felt a strong hand grab the hood of her jacket and she was dragged up to the top of the water.

"Kitty!"

Kitty gasped loudly as she broke the surface. "I, I didn't g-g-get them!" She cried hysterically. "I c-c-couldn't get t-t-them!"

"Kitty, it's fine!" Steve tried to reassure her, but she was past that point. He had gotten out his own pills and given one to Natasha. "It's fine! B-B-Buck, keep her w-w-warm!"

"Are you alright?" Bucky asked her as he pushed away some of the wet strands of hair sticking to her forehead. When she didn't answer (Kitty was still trying to figure out how she got back to the top of the water), Bucky urgently pled, "Kitty, tell me you're okay, please."

Kitty nodded. She was focused on keeping her head above the freezing water. "F-f-fine, J-j-j.D. T-t-thanks."

"Are you sure?"

Tears flowed from Kitty's eyes and she shook her head in response to Bucky's question. She noticed that his hair was wet too, meaning he had to dive underwater to grab her. She immediately felt guilty. "I-I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Kitty, I'm okay." Bucky insisted.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

"It's okay, Kitty, please stop crying, please don't cry-"

Bruce Banner: "Kitty, your core body temperature just plummeted. You need to take a pill right now."

Kitty figured that it would be easier to get into Bucky's jacket than her own, so she unzipped the pocket over his chest and withdrew the sealed baggie. Her hands were shaking and she was worried she'd drop them. "B-B-Bucky, let g-g-g-go-o of me and put your h-h-hands und-d-der mine incase I d-d-drop one." He did as told and Kitty managed to fish one out. Bucky opened his mouth and she popped one under his tongue, then under hers. And Bruce was right, it was bitter. Luckily, her tongue was already pretty numb but it tasted like she had drank soap. He hugged her to him again and she waited for warmth, but none came. "W-w-what's the d-d-deal, Banner?"

"I t-t-thought these w-w-would make us warm!" Natasha complained.

Bruce Banner: "They'll start working soon. Well, they should, like I said, it's experimental, this only really the first trial-"

"This g-g-give you f-f-f-flashbacks to you being a C-C-Capsicle?" Natasha asked Steve.

Kitty pressed her cheek to Bucky's chest and tried to regulate her breathing. He was definitely warmer than her but after only a few seconds, she felt him push her away. I get it, Kitty thought as she fought to keep her legs kicking. I wouldn't want an icicle pressed up against me either. She was surprised, though, when she saw Bucky unzip his outer jacket. He pulled her flush against his chest and wrapped Kitty up so both were in his jacket. Dear god, there's even more heat. What is this man, a walking oven? "I'm so c-c-cold, Jack." Kitty breathed. "I'm so cold."

Natasha laughed but Bucky looked very concerned. He looked down at Kitty and said, "My name's not Jack."

"I-i-it's a movie," Kitty tried, then gave up. "Ne-e-evermind."

Natasha's eyebrows drew together. "W-w-why exactly a-a-are we here again?"

Kitty thought about that for a moment. Her head felt cold and cloudy and she was having a hard time remembering what they were doing there. She looked up at Bucky, who was surprisingly close to her. Seriously close, with their noses almost touching and she could easily lean forward and kiss him-no. Bad Kitty. "I c-c-can't remembe-e-er."

Bucky paused then gently ran his thumb over her slightly pink cheek. Finally, he bent his head and murmured in her ear, "Nazis. We're here for Nazis, baby."

"Bu-u-ut w-w-why are we h-h-here in the water?"

Bruce Banner: "Are you submerged in the ocean? In Antarctica? That'll kill you in less than four minutes-"

Kitty tuned out of Bruce's medical rant and instead concentrated on the sound of the snowmobile getting closer.

"Banner, shut up." Bucky hissed, cutting the doctor off. "You're going to get us killed!"

The group silenced and the cranking sound grew louder; They were right next to their hiding spot. Kitty held her breath and felt Bucky hold her closer.

"Don't worry." He whispered so softly that even Natasha and Steve couldn't catch it. "I'll never let anyone hurt you, Sunshine."

The part of Kitty's mind that felt like it was drifting away noted that he had his metal arm as far away from her as possible. Kitty appreciated it.

The snowmobile stopped and Kitty wretched her arm out from Bucky's embrace and retrieved her beretta. She was so cold that Kitty's hands were trembling and her aim probably wasn't going to be the best, but at this close range with hollow points, that wouldn't matter too awful much.

Natasha saw Kitty and drew her weapon as well. There were some yelling that Kitty couldn't quite make out followed by the snowmobile leaving. With her gun still in her hand, Kitty detangled herself from a silently protesting Bucky and carefully swam to the break in the ice.

"A-a-all c-c-clear." Kitty managed to whisper. She reholstered her gun.

Bruce Banner: "Every single one of you's core body temperature is below 90 degrees, you need to get out of there-"

The other three swam to the break and helped lift each other onto the ice. Kitty stubbornly insisted on making sure the others were safely on the ice before Bucky effortlessly lifted her from the water. She flopped on the ice and saw that the others were all laying on their backs. She couldn't help but close her eyes as she felt warmth roll through her body…

Bruce Banner: "Is anyone there? Kitty and Natasha, your vitals are dangerously low and the pills will be wearing off soon, Steve, I need you to make sure they're awake and stay that way."

"Sunshine-"

Someone was shaking her shoulder.

"Wake up."

The voice sounded worried and very insistent.

"Wake up, Sunshine, wake up-"

Someone put a _very fucking cold_ hand on Kitty's cheek and her eyes snapped open. Kitty groaned when she saw that Bucky had touched her with his frozen metal hand. So much for that appreciation.

Bucky was looking Kitty over with extreme concern. There was ice in her hair and eyebrows and her lips were blue. It didn't even look like she was breathing and if Bucky didn't see that her eyes were open, he would've assumed she was an icicle. "Hey, Sunshine." He ran his hand over her hair. "You scared me there."

Bruce Banner: "Kitty and Natasha are in moderate hypothermia and Steve, you and Barnes are slipping from mild to moderate, you've got to get somewhere warm."

"Whyyaalwayscallme'Sunshine'?" Kitty asked breathlessly.

"Come on." Bucky helped her to her feet and saw Steve doing the same with Natasha.

"Wegottagetinside." Kitty nodded to the mining structures. "I d-d-don'tcareif we g-g-gotta punch e-e-every Naziinthat d-d-damn thing, we gettin'in."

Bucky smiled when she mentioned punching Nazis. It's the little things in life you have to cherish.

Bruce Banner: "Kitty and Natasha, both of you need to take another red pill. Your temperatures are 84 and 86 and you're experiencing heart arrhythmias."

"I-i-if he doesn't s-s-shut the fuck u-u-u-up-p-p," Natasha chattered. "I'm g-g-g-going to kill him-m-m." Steve gave Natasha another pill before she could continue her threats.

Kitty's fingers felt frozen in her gloves and she fumbled to unzip her coat pocket. After the third (failed) attempt, Bucky held up a pill. Kitty tried to take it from him, but her hands were trembling too much. "Open." Bucky stressed.

"I c-c-c-an do it my-y-yself." Kitty huffed.

"No, you can't." Bucky argued. "Let me help you." She rolled her eyes and he put his flesh hand on her cheek. She opened her mouth and Bucky gently dropped the pill under her tongue.

This time, it felt like a fire was in her mouth. Kitty opened her mouth and saw that Natasha was doing the same, fanning her mouth while panting. "Hot! Hot!"

Bruce Banner: "Sorry, forgot to warn you that the second dose will be more effective since there's already some in your bloodstream-"

"Burning! Burning!'

Bruce Banner: "But your vitals are already improving-"

"Bruce Banner!" The pill finally dissolved in Kitty's mouth and she ranted, "If you don't s-s-shut the fuck up, Tasha and I are gonna t-t-tag team and kick your ass so bad that the Other Guy will have to make a bloody appearance just t-t-to save you."

Bucky started laughing as Kitty swallowed multiple times to try to clear the bitter taste.

"Now," Invigorated by the sudden heat, Kitty smiled and took the lead. "Let's go kill us som-m-me fucking Nazis."

"Can't even argue with that." Steve said as the team started towards the cover buildings.

"Don't think either of us can."

"The o-one on the right." Kitty pointed to a smaller, unstable looking cabin. "That's where th-h-he most heat showed on King's thermal radar." She took out her gun and held it to her side. "All cl-cl-clear."

They gathered around the shack, which had a brand new looking box on the door. Steve looked at Kitty, Bucky, and Natasha, then back to the box, whose light shined red. "Any ideas?"

Kitty nudged him out of the way and said, "JARVIS, read the last text from King to me."

"_9385011748295733_."

She entered the code in and waited. The light flicked to green and the wood piece they were standing on jerked before slowing easing down. "Thank you, JARVIS." Kitty whispered.

"Thank you, Kingsley." Steve added.

The four hunkered down, weapons drawn, as the freight elevator made its way below the many layers of ice. After almost a minute of being on the elevator, their surroundings dimmed, then brightened again with an artificial yellow glow. Before the freight elevator stopped completely, all four rolled off as soon as they safely could and hid in an empty corridor. It was so warm in there that the group quickly shucked off both their inner and outer jackets.

Bruce Banner: "Everyone okay? Your body temperatures are rising exponentially."

Kitty rubbed her hands together and breathed on them. "Mmmm-warmth."

"It's so beautiful." Natasha murmured.

"We'll shove the coats over there," Kitty pointed to a small broom closet. "So we can put them back on when we're done." They all agreed and started stashing their clothes. Kitty caught sight of herself in a mirror hanging in an open locker door. "Hey," She turned around and touched her frozen hair. "You guys like my ice dreads?"

"Very attractive." Natasha said in a deadpan voice. She started rifling through a locker and pulled out a candy bar. "Ooh, Snickers." She ate the entire thing in two bites.

"Hey! Where's your clearance badges?" A voice to their left called. Kitty's head snapped over to see a woman with mousy brown hair briskly walking towards them. "You know you have to wear your-"

Kitty punched her in the face as Natasha swept her legs out from under her, causing the woman to flip over onto her back. The woman was unconscious before she hit the ground. Kitty pointed her gun at the woman, but Steve cleared his throat. Although he didn't actually say anything, it was obvious he disapproved of what she was gearing up to do. Kitty rolled her eyes and moved her gun off the woman. The gunfire that echoed through the loading dock wasn't from Kitty's gun, though. Kitty pulled Natasha and rolled to cover behind a set of lockers while Steve and Bucky hid behind the other lockers. Kitty peaked into the hallway, only to draw back when more shots rang out.

"Shit." Kitty hissed.

Bruce Banner: "Everything okay? Your heart rates seem to have-"

"Shut up!" Everyone hissed.

Kitty closed her eyes and stuck her hand and gun out from behind the cover. She shot five bullets out in the general direction she knew the shooters were. The gunfire stopped and each person eased their heads out to look. Four dead Nazis.

"Nice job." Bucky praised.

"Yeah, really nice job." Natasha said with her eyebrows drawn together suspiciously.

"What now?"

"It's too big to clear." Kitty sighed and rubbed her temple. "Even if we split up-"

"We are not splitting up." Bucky said firmly.

Kitty retorted, "You know what I mean."

"It's your call, Kitty." Steve reminded her. "Now what?"

* * *

-Three and a half minutes later-

* * *

Kitty forced herself to run as fast as she could, despite her lungs protests to the sudden cold air. She pulled out her phone and quickly typed in a command. A song started just as the base exploded.

_"Oooh, I'm a pyro-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, I wanna burn it up_-"

The explosion sent waves of shockwaves through the ice and Kitty stumbled. She looked behind her to see that Natasha looked jarred as well.

"I think that could've been handled better!" Steve yelled as the group continued running from the burning Nazi base.

"I don't think it could have." Bucky disagreed with an adoring smile at Kitty.

"What is that song?" Steve asked. Kitty turned the music off and smiled. "Did you just blow that up to music?"

Bruce Banner: "Are you guys okay? There seems to have been an explosion, I saw it from here-"

"I blew up the Nazis, okay?! I blew them up, poof, they're gone!" Kitty yelled in her defense. They continued running until they were out of breath. "Banner! Start up the plane like I showed you, lock in on my signal."

Bruce Banner: "Everything's safe out there?"

"Yeah," Kitty glanced over her shoulder at the raging fire over a mile away. "Should be far enough out that it shouldn't mess with the jet."

Bruce Banner: "Stay where you are, I'm coming."

Kitty sat down on the ice and hugged her knees to her chest. "Should've grabbed our jackets." She shivered, clad only in her base clothes under her suit. "Learned that mistake."

"Should have warned us exactly what you were doing with all that sugar." Steve retorted. "And we could have grabbed a jacket or two."

Bruce Banner: "ETA two minutes."

"Where'd you learn that anyways?" Bucky asked.

Ashley taught me. Kitty thought. Outloud, she said, "Special forces."

"I think the m-m-mission was a success." Natasha noted as she sat down next to Kitty. "Nazis are d-d-dead. Their fort is destroyed beyond repair. Anyo-o-one stuck under there would've died from the f-f-fire or from smoke inh-h-halation."

"Yeah." Kitty nudged Natasha. "Tell em."

Bucky plopped down beside Kitty. He leaned in close and set his head on her shoulder and smiled at her "I thought you did a good job."

"S-s-see, Cap," Kitty motioned to her two comrades. "I did good!"

"I'll give it to you," Steve nodded. "The plan worked."

"The plan worked." Kitty murmured as she shut her eyes for a moment. "It worked."

A low roar rumbled through the air and they looked up to see the Jovi slowly easing itself down on the ice. The door swung open and Bruce Banner, bundled up in his jacket, stood there. Kitty smiled softly and tapped Bucky's arm to signal him to get off her. She forced herself to peel her body off the ice and wander into the nice, warm jet. Bruce had set up a fort of blankets on the floor of the biggest part of the jet.

"Neither of you," Bruce pointed to Kitty and Natasha. "Are shivering. We have to get your clothes off and put you in dry garments."

Kitty started walking towards the bathroom. "I'm 'kay 'nuff to undress Tasha."

"Never too sick to not strip Kitty down." Natasha agreed as she followed Kitty, much to the amusement of the group.

"All the homo."

"Aren't you asexual?" Bruce asked Natasha over the wall.

"Yeah, but it's Kitty." She reasoned. "She could turn a straight laced religious girl gay for a night."

"Hey," Kitty said defensively. "Don't cheapen the night Ashleigh and I had."

"You did her solely to prove Deadpool wrong."

"Because he was. Besides," Kitty's voice was muffled slightly. "It's not like I'd have sex with people in the other room."

Bruce raised his eyebrows and looked down but remained quiet.

"Shut up, Bruce."

"I didn't say anything!"

"Shut up."

Kitty and Natasha came out, reclothed in comfy flannel shirts and leggings, courtesy of Kitty's preplanning. She plopped down on the floor of the ship and sighed.

"Here, you need to eat these." Bruce gave Kitty a small package of sour gummy worms.

"Trolli's?" Natasha asked with a raised eyebrow.

"She's got hypoglycemia and unless she wants me to give her a blood sugar test, she needs to eat those right now." Bruce said pointedly.

"Mm eatin' dem!" Kitty grumbled with her mouth full.

"Didn't you have that before the experiment?" Bucky asked Steve. "You were always eating candies and cookies."

Steve nodded. "That alone disqualified me for recruitment."

"I didn't have it before the bombing." Kitty finished the gummies.

"It's because they had to do so many transfusions." Bruce explained. "I have to have Tony eat something high in sugar before I even do anything for Kitty."

Kitty threw a pair of sweatpants and hoodies at Steve and Bucky and jerked her thumb towards the back. "Go change. Bucky, be fast, I'll need your help gettin' the jet off the ground and on autopilot."

Bruce walked up with a handful of granola bars and water bottles. "Try to stay as still as possible and here," He handed them the food. "Eat and drink."

Kitty munched through two granola bars by the time Bucky was ready. They quickly got the plane up and on autopilot so they could return to the warm pile of blankets.

Tony was already at the Tower when the Jovi landed. He opened up the door and froze. The entire floor space was covered in blankets and pillows. Four people were visible through the mess. Natasha was the furthest from the group, on the edge. A foot away from her was Steve, who was clutching a pillow to his chest. He's a cuddle-bug. Kitty was pressed up to Bucky, who was on his back with his head turned towards Kitty. Tony couldn't see, but his arms were wrapped around Kitty. Bruce walked out of the cockpit, careful to step around the sleeping people.

"What should we-"

Tony cut off Bruce's question. "Just leave them."


End file.
